Yes

You know, most people think that I have an easy life and have never lived through anything sad or heartbreaking. In reality, this is far from the truth. I’ve lived through and seen more than most adults have in their life, and I’m only 15! My family has been torn apart. My family, taken away from me. Now, I have no one. I just hope that things will get better.

This may just be my chance. We are getting a foster kid today. His name is Matt, and that’s about all I know. I am a little bit nervous about meeting him, what if he doesn’t like me? I was just sitting on the couch watching a movie, when there was a knock on the door. An older lady, probably in her fifties, was standing in the door way with a boy. They both come into the house when the woman asks me, “Are your parents around?” The first thing I noticed about the guy was that he was tall and tan. I didn’t want to make it obvious that I was looking at him, so I went into the other room and studied him from there. I couldn’t really see his eyes, but they were dark, like his hair. I walked pass to see what color his eyes were; they were dark brown and his hair was dark brown too. I just wonder if he was studying me as much as I was studying him.

I responded by yelling up the stairs, “Mom there’s a lady here that wants to talk to you.” My mom came running down the stairs to greet the lady. When the woman saw my mother coming, she went on to say, “Good afternoon Mrs. Easton. This is Matt, your new foster kid.” He seemed a bit nervous when the lady was there, but he seemed to ease up after she left. I showed him around the house and then to his room. I was helping him put his clothes and stuff away when he looked at me. He looked scared and unsure, “You’re not going to kick me out are you?”

I just didn’t know what to say. So I managed to get outz, “No, why would you think we would do something like that?”

“Because…” he paused; he looked like he was going to cry, “…Of what has happened before.” He stood up and walked out of the room. I could tell that he had been through something terrible, I just didn’t know what yet.

Three months later

Matt was acting really strange. He was really moody and just wasn’t himself. He would come home and go right up to his room and lock the door. One day when he came in, he walked past me extremely fast, almost like he was trying to hide something. Matt was filled with all this anger now, and he stopped talking to us. I needed to find out what was going on, and fix it.

I stormed into his room and demanded, “What is going on with you?”

He yelled back, “It’s none of your business!”

I lowered my voice and said, “I know there’s something going one…”

“I just…I just don’t want to talk about it.”

I went over and gave him a hug and said, “Whenever you need me, I’m here.” I felt bad that I couldn’t help, but he wasn’t ready. I know that he doesn’t trust me yet and that’s why he would talk to me. I just wish he would, because I need someone to talk to too.

I was walking home after school when I heard a lot of yelling. I kept walking, but there was a fight in the middle of the sidewalk between two boys. I waited for them to move so I could go home, but then I realized that it was Matt fighting. I about died inside. I couldn’t move or say anything, I could only cry. Both guys realized that someone was standing there, so they stopped. Matt turned around and saw me standing there watching. I looked at him, tears running down my face, voice cracking, “How, how could you.”

“Lily, I…”

I cut him off, “Don’t, just don’t.”I walked away.

When I got home I went right up to my room and cried. There was knock on my door, but before I could say anything Matt came in and sat on my bed.

“Why?”

“Lily, I’m sorry. You didn’t need to see that.”

“Then why do it then?”

“Because I had too.”

“NO YOU DIDN’T!,” I yelled.

“He was talking about you.”

“So you fought him?”

“I had too. He wouldn’t stop.”

“Ignore him then. You’re 16 Matt, grow up.”

“Lily…”

“Do you not know how much that bothered me, or how much that upset me?”

Matt looked at me and said, “Why are you crying?”

“Because I don’t want to lose you.”

“What do you mean, lose me?”

“If you get caught fighting, you could be moved to another foster home. Matt, can you just do one thing for me?”

“Yeah, what is it?”

“Promise me that you will stop fighting.”

“Okay, but I don’t understand why it’s such a big deal.”

“If you lived through what I have, you would be making a big deal too.” I walked out of the room and left him sitting.

I couldn’t help but worry that he would break his promise, just like everyone else had done. Maybe, just maybe, he would do what I asked and wouldn’t try to hurt me. The next day Matt wanted to talk to me about something, I didn’t know what, but it was something. I was sitting in my room when Matt yelled from his room down the hall to me, “Hey Lil, can you come in here for a second, I need to talk to you.”

I nervously stood up and started walking down the hallway towards his room. I wasn’t sure what this was about, but I was about to find out. I walked into his room and sat on the bed facing him. He waited for me to get comfortable before he started talking.

“Lily, I’m so sorry,” He said this in such a way that I knew that he meant it.

“Why are you sorry?”

“Because I really hurt you. When I saw you crying, that tore me apart. I just, I just want to make things right.” As he was saying this, his eyes where getting glossy and he sounded like he was going to cry at any moment.

“You’re right, you did hurt me.” I walked out of the room and went to mine and grabbed a picture and came back. As I walked back in and sat down, Matt just watched me and waited for me to say something. When I didn’t, he did.

“What’s that?” I sat the picture down on the bed so he could see it. When he looked up at me, I was crying.

“Who are the people in the picture?”

“That’s me, my dad, and my two brothers.”

“Then why haven’t I met them yet, Lil?”

“Because, they’re gone. Me and Nick, my oldest brother, were really close. We did everything together, until he was deployed. Everything changed that day. Right before he left, he promised me that he would make it home, and he said he would never leave me.”

“What do you mean deployed?”

“He was a marine, and he was sent to Iraq. We talked to each other every day, until I got a call that wasn’t from my brother.”

“Who was it from then?”

“It was his commander.” I paused for a few seconds while I replayed that day over and over again, that convocation, over and over again.

“Lily Marks?”

“Speaking?”

“This is Commander Paul, this tears me apart to say this, Nick has been killed.” There was a long pause on the phone while I tried to take in what the man had just said. “He was patrolling a local village when a local started shooting. Nick held them off until his men could get out, and when he was leaving, and IED had been placed behind him and he stepped on it.” I was numb, couldn’t talk, couldn’t move, couldn’t think. My brother, my best friend had been killed. He was my life. I told Matt the conversation we had.

As I was crying I managed to say to Matt, “I just want my brother back.” Matt gave me the biggest hug. He didn’t say anything, he just held me.

I sat back up and said, “After what had happened, Sam and I had become close, not as close as me and Nick were, but close.”

“What happened to Sam?”

“He was taken away too.,” I started crying again and jumped back into Matt’s arms. I sobbed uncontrollably for a few minutes. When I had composed myself, I looked up at him and said, “It had been six months since we lost Nick, and Sam and I were closer than ever before, until yet another low blow hit me.”

“What do you mean, another low blow?” Matt looked confused.

“Sam was in the Navy, special forces…”

“So he was a Seal?”

“Yes he was, and a damn good one too. He was deployed in the middle of 2009, six months after Nick’s funeral. We didn’t know where he was going or when he would be back. We weren’t allowed to know anything.”

“Oh my…”

I continued with what I was saying, “I got a call from Sam saying that he was going to be coming home in three weeks. I was so excited!”

“Then where is he?”

“It was a week before he was supposed to come home, when there was knock on the door. I went over and opened the door, and standing at the door were two men in military uniforms, they were holding something.”

“What were they holding?”

As I started to sob again I said, “Sam’s dog tags.” I cried and cried in Matt’s arms. Matt lifted my head up and wiped the tears from my face. I looked sadly straight into his eyes and said, “I lost him too. First Nick’s taken from me, then Sam. I had no one.”

Matt looked heartbroken and slowly said, “Where was your dad?”

I put my head down, took a deep breath and said, “He left.”

“What do you mean, he left?”

“He couldn’t handle losing two of his kids.” As I said this, Matt couldn’t believe it. “I tried to call him, but he would never answer them.”

“Did he ever call you or talk to you?”

“No. Never. He wanted nothing to do with me.” It made me sad to be talking about this, but it needed to come out.

“What a jerk.”

“It’s been six years since I last talked to him. Now, I’ve pushed it out of mind and don’t think about it at all.”

Matt and I sat in his room for a long time in silence until we heard the front door open. Mom had just come in the front door with her hands full of grocery bags. Matt and I rushed down the stairs to help her. We helped her put the groceries away before diner, then we all went into the living room and watched the news, nothing new, just the regular stuff. When my step dad walked into the house, we went to the kitchen and started to cook. There wasn’t much talking, but then again there never really was. After we all ate, Matt and I went up stairs while Mom and Dad talked about work stuff down stairs. Matt came into my room while I was sing the striped sweater song from SpongeBob. “The best time to wear a striped sweater…” Matt walked in right when I was in the middle of the song. I smile at him and continued, “Is all the time. One with a collar, TURTLE NECK!” Matt just lost it. He couldn’t stop laughing; he fell on the floor and was crying.

When he composed himself he asked, “Wanna go for a walk?” We started walking, not really walking to any certain place, just walking. We walked in silence for awhile until, “I think I should open up to you.”

“And why’s that Matt?,” I responded.

“Because you opened up to me so…”

“Matt you don’t…”

Sounding frustrated, Matt said, “Yes I do Lily. If I am living in your house you need to know a bit about me.” Matt paused for a second before continuing, “There’s a reason why I’m here. I don’t have parents. His eyes were getting glossy, but he continued, “That’s why I’m here.”

“What happened to your parents,” I asked

“There, there was a…” He started to choke up and tears trickled down his face. “There was a car accident.” He broke down; I’ve never seen him do that before. “When we got to the hospital, they were being rushed into surgery and were in critical condition.” He was sobbing now, so I gave him a hug. As he was sobbing he managed to get out a few more words, crying hysterically, “Why did they have to be taken away from me?” I didn’t know what to say, so I just continued to comfort him.

“All that matters is that you’re here, Matt,” I told him.

“But I would have done anything to have them here today. I just wish that I was there instead of them.”

“Don’t say that, Matt. You couldn’t have done anything to change what happened. You didn’t do anything wrong. Matt, you need to stop blaming yourself for something you couldn’t control.”

“I know, but I can’t help it.”

“After my brothers died, I blamed myself for it, and then when Dad left, I blamed myself for that too, and still do. It’s called the past for a reason. It was there to make us stronger and help us heal. All you can do is keep moving forward and don’t look back.”

He showed a little smile and laughed a bit while he said, “You know Lily, you really have a way with words.”

“Yeah, I get that a lot,” I said laughing. We started walking again. Matt and I probably walked for about an hour. We were on our way back to the house when Matt grabbed my hand. I didn’t know what to do, so I just let him do it. We were holding hands when Matt stopped and face me. I didn’t know what was happening, and it made me nervous. It seemed like it was an eternity, until Matt finally said it.

“Lily, I really like you, and was wondering if… well I was wondering if you would like to go on a date with me.” I didn’t know what to. I stood there in silence. I had my answer; I was positive that I had the right one. I hope that I wouldn’t regret it, I don’t think it will. That’s when it slipped out… the answer that would change our lives forever. “Yes.”