Will It Forever Be This Way?

I'm never going to be rid of him
His charm, his confidence, his laughter
His height, his strength, his eyes, his hair
His cruelty

He haunts me
At the edge of my mind he sits
Watching, waiting
Then gathering and leaping, eagerly striking

Within my dreams, it's always the same
In the fog, happiness surrounds!
Eager to tempt and enchant
Like a record on repeat

The blanketed cruelty connects then
His cold wind ripping right into my skin
There in my dream I'm reminded of what was
Habit has me search him for remorse

My mind pulls me away with a sympathetic grasp
The quiet sobs in slumber are loud when blended with reality
Waves of heartache pounding, pounding
Shaming me, angering me

Will I ever be rid of him?