Behavior in the Dark

I don’t know what’s wrong, why I do what I do or why I feel the way I feel.
         You ask yourself continuously hoping to seek an answer. The feeling that haunts you is almost like a burning sensation that grows within: one minute happy, next angry, and then sad. At the end you ended up hurting someone close to you. You don’t know why the feelings are as enormous as they are.
Maybe it’s jealously or maybe it’s anger for another. No one really knows but everyone sees.
         When you reach to apologize all you get is a cold shoulder that halts the hand, an icy touch that pierced through the soul followed by a stare that freezes the entire body at one stance. Maybe it’s not meant to be or maybe the heart sees something that the eye cannot.
It’s like watching your best friend walk away, the sense of anguish, pain and confusion.
         It hurts. Why does it have to hurt? Why does the agony that’s been within so long suffers when that person touch you the wrong way,
look at you the wrong way, or better yet hates you.
It’s no one fault but yours on, because you’re delusion and lost in your mind that you take it out on others. You cause the space between that brings out ones other side.
Now you’re damage and wonder why.
         Tears. They’re your only comfort; they slowly rock you to sleep, gently sliding from the eyes, down the cheeks and on to the neck. The cold, chilling sentiment of tears follows by the dark holds you tight as you lay their motionless in the midst of the night.
         Alone. That’s right, that hideous feeling that has secure you through this tragic situation. Alone being the results of your awful performance. It has cause so much damage in that short time frame granted that you will have a long night of solitude.
         Precious.  What is precious to you?  That person you hurt so with your random act of ruthless behavior.
The thought of hurting that person cause a lump in your throat and a rip in your heart.
         Push. Why push them away? That questions that plays in your head non- stop throughout this cold, chilling night.
         Think. You lay stationary in the dark with your subzero tears and think about the questions that keep repeating in your head. Up all night is the only option for someone who suffers of the heart. Quietly close your teary eyes and wait for the sun as those weary questions continue to play in your mind like a sad lullaby;
why I do what I do, why I feel the way I feel.