A tale of insanity and inability to follow rules. |
What motivates someone with a story to tell to write? What happens then? What compels them to move forward from the world of the nervous writer into the magical world of being a published author? I am not sure about the rest of you, but I write because I don’t want to get a real job. Don’t get me wrong; I see the value in a day’s hard work, but following someone else’s rules, policies or guidelines? Ha! Ask my parents how well that works. When I write, I don’t even have to follow rules of physics. If I want to throw a ball and have it break through the stratosphere, I can do that. I make up the rules. By the way mom, that is all I have ever wanted to do. Your life would have been so much simpler if you would have just let me have it my way… all the time. Some people are worried about my sanity. I say let them worry; it keeps them off of my back! If I throw a good “crazy” from time to time, people generally leave me and my stories alone long enough to be productive. I can’t stress enough how much fun it can be too. I recommend everyone try it at least once. Sanity: what is it really? I think sanity and writers block are the same thing. They are both boring, happen when you live in the real world too long, and oh, they are boring. My best ideas float through my noggin when I am being silly, or playful or otherwise “not a responsible grownup”. I got the idea for retelling Orwell’s Animal Farm while playing with my 5 year old (who, ironically, thinks I really have my shit together). Who in their freaking right mind would take on the retelling of one of Orwell’s greatest. Maybe “some people” are right to be worried for my sanity. I promise to take my meds as soon as I finish writing today. So, now we know my motivations, let’s focus for a moment on the next step, you know… actually writing something that someone else is going to read. Shhh, don’t tell anyone, but I’ve never done that. I am about to tell you another secret too, ready? I am afraid to write. What if the stuff I have going on up in my head is only entertaining to me? What if when I start to put words down on a page I come off as an illiterate buffoon who has no business stringing words together in the first place? I have been seriously considering this writing gig for a while now. I took some creative writing courses in high school. I did well in them, as well as all of my other artsy fartsy classes, but we will save that observation for a later discussion. I once was given a Norman Rockwell picture as a writing prompt for an assignment. Imagine the awkwardness of 25 other students staring at you slack jawed while you read aloud in 9th grade creative writing a steamy romance that certainly turned the teachers cheeks the most lovely shade of crimson. I bet she read that kinda stuff herself before bed. There was a moment of silence when I think my classmates had forgotten to breathe. Then like some sort of phenomenon you see only in the movies, everyone started talking at exactly the same time. From what I was able to decipher, the critics ran the gambit. One girl loved it, another said it was trashy. I remember the kid behind me said, oh, I bet that story gets you suspended. I transferred out of the class. There is nothing more awkward than being the schools most well-known Erotica Writer before having gone on my first real date. Well maybe there is, but at 14, I think that could just about top the list. Let it be known though, it was a good story. A class of hormone addled teenagers is far easier to impress than the sophisticated literary world of today. I have my Kindle loaded with “How to” books, most of them unfinished. The ones I have read through make me think I am way in over my head. Plot and pov, sub plots and word counts, active voice and characters with dimension, man it is enough to scare the hell out of anyone. Here we go with those darn rules again. So, here I am. I am ready to put away the rule filled “How to” books and just start writing. So please don’t mind me. I am going to be in the kiddy pool over in the newbies area learning how to write. If anyone looks at this and sees a bit of themselves in my story, please feel free to contact me. My social calendar is open and I really could use some sage advice from others who get it. |