A down-on-his-luck Ad Exec. devises a plan to prevent his wife from receiving alimony. |
INT. CAR - LATER John is driving his car. The snow is coming down fast and hard around him. The glow of passing street lights flash over his face, one by one. His right eye is dark and puffy and he can only really see well out of his left eye. EXT. WELLINGTON'S PUB - MOMENTS LATER John pulls into the parking lot of Wellington's Pub. INT. WELLINGTON'S PUB - MOMENTS LATER The door of the pub opens and John enters. He takes off his knitted winter hat and gloves and STAMPS his feet on the mat to get rid of the excess snow. He walks into the bar and finds Anton sitting in a familiar spot. Anton pretends to look at his watch, even though he's not wearing one. ANTON BRODY I'm impressed, you're actually on time. JOHN AVERY Yeah. I left early on account of the storm and all. As John moves closer, Anton notices John's face. ANTON BRODY Jesus, who's Cheerios did you piss in? JOHN AVERY (confused) What? ANTON BRODY I'm referring to that crater in the middle of your head, John, what the hell happened? JOHN AVERY Oh, that's...that's just...I had a bit of an argument with someone, that's all. ANTON BRODY I'd hate to see the other guy. Sit down, take a load off. John sits down across from Anton, his puffy winter jacket barely fitting in the booth. JOHN AVERY So, it's done then? Anton reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a DVD in a plastic case. The DVD has 'Avery' scrawled on it in black Sharpie. He places it in the middle of the table. John takes the DVD and stares at it, as if he's not sure he wants to hold it. An awkward beat. ANTON BRODY You thirsty? Can I get you a beer or something? JOHN AVERY Oh, no, that's OK...like I said before, I'm not really much of a drinker. ANTON BRODY Right... Anton turns around and signals the waitress by holding up one finger. She points back and smiles. ANTON BRODY You wanna tell me what really happened? That's one hell of a shiner you're sporting there. JOHN AVERY Listen, I really can't stay, I need to be heading back. John starts to get out of his seat. ANTON BRODY She still wears her ring, you know. John stops, and slides back into his seat slowly. JOHN AVERY Beg your pardon? ANTON BRODY Her ring. Anton points to his ring finger. ANTON BRODY She was wearing it last night. There's a moment of silence between the two men. ANTON BRODY You know, she really is a great girl. You should try to patch things up before you do something you'll regret. The waitress comes by with a beer and sets it down in front of Anton. ANTON BRODY Thank you. Anton takes a long sip of his beer. JOHN AVERY Listen, I appreciate...your help in this, but really, this, uh...this isn't any of your concern. If you don't mind, I think we're done here. ANTON BRODY Hey, of course. Sorry for meddling. Listen, good luck. I mean it. Anton extends his hand. John shakes it. ANTON BRODY And hey, listen, I always say that the greatest compliment my clients can give me is a solid reference. I can't exactly list this gig on my resume if you know what I mean so...you know, if you have any buddies that, God forbid, are going through a tough time, you feel free to drop my name, all right? Or if your next marriage doesn't work out... John frowns. ANTON BRODY Ha ha! But seriously, keep me in mind. JOHN AVERY (sarcastically) Yeah, I'll do that. ANTON BRODY Now you go on home and play nice! I'd hate to see you get a matching pair. Anton points to his eyes. John slides out of his seat with a frown and walks away. The waitress walks back over to Anton. WAITRESS What the hell happened to your buddy? ANTON BRODY I guess he got what was coming to him. Anton smiles at the waitress. FADE TO BLACK INT. BERNSTEIN'S OFFICE - DAY John's divorce lawyer, ETHAN BERNSTEIN, is sitting behind a large oak desk. Bernstein is a portly, Jewish man, with thinning grey hair and large, round glasses. He is dressed in a blue suit with a matching blue tie. He's reviewing a document closely. John is sitting across from him, wearing dark sunglasses to cover his swollen eye. ETHAN BERNSTEIN Now, if I understand you correctly, Mr. Avery, which I think I do, you're saying that you're seeking an at-fault divorce against your wife...what is it...Rachel? JOHN AVERY That's right, yeah. Bernstein looks up at John, his glasses perched on the edge of his nose. ETHAN BERNSTEIN You do understand, Mr. Avery, that such a thing can't just be... conjured up from thin air. A good deal of proof is required to determine that such a course of action is, uh...what's the word I'm looking for... Bernstein snaps his fingers in thought. JOHN AVERY Warranted? ETHAN BERNSTEIN Sanctioned, actually. The point I'm trying to get across here, sir, and forgive me for speaking in absolute truths with you, the point I'm trying to get across to you is...it's not going to be just a... walk in the park. Absolute proof will be required to determine that she did indeed conduct this alleged, uh...malfeasance. The commission of unlawful act, if you will. JOHN AVERY Actually...I do have proof. Pretty solid proof, as it happens. There's a video. ETHAN BERNSTEIN A video? JOHN AVERY A video, yes. Of my wife. Bernstein looks confused. JOHN AVERY With another man. ETHAN BERNSTEIN Well! Mr. Avery, I would say that is a rather...irrefutable piece of evidence, if such a thing were to exist. This video...how did it come to be in your possession? JOHN AVERY I hired someone. A private investigator. Listen, when can this be done? I'd like to get moving on this thing right away. ETHAN BERNSTEIN Well, I'm afraid, sir...it's highly unlikely that anything more can be done today. There's all manner of paperwork that needs to be filed in order to...forge ahead in such a manner. This video you speak of, might I ask where it is? JOHN AVERY Oh, I left it at home...shit, I wasn't sure... ETHAN BERNSTEIN It's exactly where it belongs, Mr. Avery. I would caution you to keep a close eye on that particular piece of evidence, don't let it out of your sight, if at all possible. What I can do for you, is set up a follow-up appointment in, say...one week from today. Let's call it seven days; five business days. That should allow for ample time to get all of our proverbial ducks in order, hmm? JOHN AVERY Ducks? ETHAN BERNSTEIN Mmm, yes. Mallards. Waterfowl. They must be in order, Mr. Avery, in order for us to proceed. JOHN AVERY A week, seriously? You can't get this moving any faster? ETHAN BERNSTEIN As I explained, there are all manner of processes and procedures in place that do need to be followed to the letter. I's to be crossed and T's to be dotted, that sort of thing. Patience, in this case, would be of a virtue, Mr. Avery. Let's agree to meet again in one week's time. Five business days. I would ask that you bring the video with you at that time so that it can be entered as evidence. JOHN AVERY Fine, one week then. Bernstein smiles as John gets up to leave. As John is walking out: ETHAN BERNSTEIN "Knowing trees, I understand the meaning of patience. Knowing grass, I can appreciate persistence." John stops briefly to listen to Bernstein's parting words before continuing his exit with a frown. INT. ANTON'S APARTMENT - LATER BEDROOM Close shot of Anton's face. He's lying on a bed, which is SHAKING VIOLENTLY. He looks disinterested, and lost in thought. WOMAN Oh God...Oh God! Baby, I'm almost there! Seen from Anton's point of view, a woman that we've never seen before, is sitting on top of him, GRINDING her hips against his. WOMAN Ahhhh! The woman slides next to Anton and slips under the sheets. WOMAN That was...exactly what I needed. Mmm, I'm so sleepy now. I think...I'm just gonna... Anton looks over at her and sees that her eyes are already closed. He pokes her gently. ANTON BRODY Hey. Hey, wake up. WOMAN Mmm...what's up baby? ANTON BRODY You're just gonna fall asleep? I thought maybe we could...I dunno, talk for a bit or something. WOMAN Mmm....OK...what about, baby? ANTON BRODY I don't know...just, anything really. Where are you from? Originally? WOMAN (whiney) Aww, that's boring! Who cares about that stuff? ANTON BRODY I do...sort of. I mean, It'd be nice to know a little bit about you. What sort of things are you into? Maybe we have a few things in common, who knows? WOMAN Well we both like to fuck each other, we have that in common. And we're both GOOD at it! The woman flashes Anton a devilish smile as she reaches for his crotch. Anton squirms away from her reach. ANTON BRODY Ha ha! Well, yeah. That's not really what I meant but...good point. How long have you been married? WOMAN Ughh! Why do you want to talk about that? You're really being a bummer, you know. I know what we should do instead....and if you ask real nice, maybe I'll let you do that thing we talked about. ANTON BRODY Actually no, I'm good, I'm a bit worn out right now, babe. WOMAN Whatever. The woman turns around, away from Anton and lays her head down on her pillow. after a beat: ANTON BRODY I don't know, you ever feel like...here you are, you're living your life the same way you've been living it for God knows how long and it...just doesn't call out to you any more? It's just the same old thing, day in and day out. For me, I guess life's just become routine...paint by numbers, clock in, clock out. I don't know, I've never really...committed to something before. Or someone, for that matter. Maybe I've just been afraid of getting hurt. I always tell myself, Anton, you need to get out there and try new things, meet new people. What is it all leading up to, you think? There must be some higher purpose, some reason for us to be here doing what we're doing. Otherwise, what's the point? You know what I mean? Silence. ANTON BRODY Babe? You know what I mean? Anton looks over and sees that the woman is fast asleep. He rolls his eyes and shakes his head. He gets out of bed, puts on his boxer shorts and walks to the bathroom. BATHROOM Anton is SPLASHING water on his face. He dries his face off with the hand towel and leans against the sink for a few seconds, lost in thought. As he's leaning on the sink, he glances into the trash can and sees the crumpled up PHOTO of John and Rachel. Only Rachel is visible in the photo the way it's been folded. Anton reaches down into the trash can and pulls out the photo. He TEARS off the left side of the photo containing John's image and throws it away. He continues smiling as he stares down at the image of Rachel, which smiles back at him against the backdrop of the bright, sunny beach. INT. LA VIDA YOGA - EVENING YOGA INSTRUCTOR And now we're gonna stretch all the way down...and hold. Keep holding for five...four...three...two...one... and release. Rachel releases her pose and is catching her breath as she sits on the Yoga mat. The spot next to her is empty. A woman wanders over to the empty spot and starts to sit down. Rachel moves her purse over to block her. RACHEL AVERY Sorry, this one's saved. The woman scowls at Rachel and walks away. Rachel looks around the room, searching for Anton. She doesn't see him and she looks disappointed. YOGA INSTRUCTOR OK everyone, next up is the Ustrasana pose. Make sure you pad those knees, if you mess this one up, I promise you, you're gonna feel it tomorrow. Everyone in the class starts doing the pose in unison, except for Rachel. She's still looking around the room. After a beat, Rachel joins in with the others doing the Ustrasana pose. EXT. LA VIDA YOGA - LATER Rachel is leaving the Yoga Studio, bundled up in a heavy winter jacket. She heads toward her car and notices someone walking behind her. Rachel turns to find Anton grinning ear to ear. RACHEL AVERY Wasn't sure I'd see you again. ANTON BRODY Is that right? RACHEL AVERY I figured maybe you'd had your fun and you were done with me. Onto your next conquest. ANTON BRODY Ha ha! I'm afraid my life isn't nearly as exciting as you seem to think it is. Rachel smiles. RACHEL AVERY You missed an interesting class. Maxine started to lose it on this woman in the back that wasn't paying attention, I was sure she was gonna throw her right out the window. ANTON BRODY Something she's certainly capable of, that woman is truly a man among men. Rachel laughs. RACHEL AVERY I've been thinking about last week... ANTON BRODY Oh really? And what about it were you thinking about? RACHEL AVERY Just...all of it, I guess... ANTON BRODY It was certainly all worth remembering. You know, I was just thinking, I know this great place around the corner from here, really fantastic place to enjoy a glass of wine...interested in joining me? RACHEL AVERY Um...I don't think I'm really fit for public consumption right now. Look at me, I'm in my LuLus! ANTON BRODY I don't think they'll mind. Besides, I like you in your LuLus. Makes your ass look fantastic. Rachel puts her hands on Anton's face and kisses him. RACHEL AVERY My ass always looks fantastic. They both laugh. EXT. LA REVE RESTAURANT - MOMENTS LATER Anton holds Rachel's hand as they walk up the slippery stairs to the front entrance of the restaurant. The name on the front of the building is "La Reve". Anton grabs the door for Rachel. RACHEL AVERY What service! Anton has to keep holding the door as people come and go, oblivious to the fact that he's not the paid doorman. An angry woman STOPS ABRUPTLY, right in the middle of the doorway. ANGRY WOMAN Frank, COME ON! I'm leaving, let's go. The woman stands there, searching feverishly through her purse. ANGRY WOMAN We have to be at my mother's in twenty minutes! I don't care if the Penguins are playing, you can listen to it in the car! Oh for fuck's sake! Anton gives Rachel a look of discomfort and Rachel bursts out laughing. The woman turns to Rachel and then to Anton. She shakes her head and STORMS out of the building in a huff. INT. LA REVE RESTAURANT - MOMENTS LATER Rachel and Anton are standing over the booth they've been led to. Anton removes Rachel's jacket, revealing her workout clothes beneath. The Maitre'd gives them an unapproving look and walks away. Rachel and Anton take a seat across from each other. RACHEL AVERY Wow, this really is a nice place. Real classy. Usually when I go out for dinner it involves a dollar menu and a ball pit. ANTON BRODY (smiling) I've never felt as sorry for someone's life as I do right now. RACHEL AVERY Excuse me? MY life? My life's not so bad, you know, let's talk about YOUR life. Just who are you, Anton Brody? I feel like I don't know anything about you. ANTON BRODY That's because you DON'T know anything about me. RACHEL AVERY Well, OK, so tell me...what do you do for a living? Let's start there. The waiter approaches. WAITER Good evening, my name is Pierre and I'll be serving you tonight. Have you had a chance to look at our drink menu yet? ANTON BRODY I'm in the mood for a red. We'll have a bottle of red...something...I don't know, something with a woody nose. The woodier the better. Anton smiles at the waiter. WAITER (awkwardly) Very good, sir. The waiter walks away. RACHEL AVERY You know, some girls don't like a man that orders for them. What makes you think I even like red wine? ANTON BRODY Well, Rachel, it just so happens that everyone likes red wine. It's a scientific fact. Look it up if you don't believe me. RACHEL AVERY I'll choose to believe you. A woody nose, though? ANTON BRODY Ha ha! I just like fucking with these pretentious waiters. I bet he goes back there and freaks out when he can't find one that says 'woody' on the bottle. RACHEL AVERY Ha ha! I bet he does....back to you though...what DO you do for a living? ANTON BRODY A variety of things. RACHEL AVERY Well, that's very mysterious. A variety of what things? ANTON BRODY Well, right now I'm actually working on a novel. RACHEL AVERY So...you're a writer? Wow I would not have guessed that. If I had to guess I'd have said...travelling salesman. ANTON BRODY Seriously? RACHEL AVERY You've got a look about you. Have you written anything I might have read? ANTON BRODY No, I highly doubt that...so far my resume consists entirely of... unpublished works. RACHEL AVERY Oh OK, so you're a broke writer. I get it. ANTON BRODY (winks) I get by. RACHEL AVERY Have you always lived in Pittsburgh? ANTON BRODY Yeah, my whole life. I gotta tell you though, lately, this weather has really started to get under my skin. To be honest, I've always wanted to live on the West Coast...spend my days out in the warm sun and my nights relaxing on the beach. Maybe open up a little coffee shop or something and work on my writing in my spare time. I don't know...it's a pipe dream, I guess. RACHEL AVERY That sounds perfect. Maybe I could come visit. Anton smiles wide at Rachel. The waiter walks up with a decanter of wine and two glasses. He pours a small amount of wine into Anton's glass and offers it to Anton. Anton takes the glass and swirls it around pretentiously under his nose. ANTON BRODY I thought I asked for a woody nose? WAITER I'm sorry sir, I-- ANTON BRODY This will have to do. The waiter looks annoyed. The waiter pours two glasses and walks away. Rachel and Anton share a quiet laugh as the waiter walks away. ANTON BRODY I notice you're not wearing your ring. Rachel awkwardly hides her ring finger and puts her hands under the table. RACHEL AVERY You're right. I'm not. ANTON BRODY How long have you been married? Do you mind if I ask? RACHEL AVERY Far too long... Rachel looks around the restaurant awkwardly. ANTON BRODY Hey, I'm sorry, that's a shitty subject, we don't have to talk about that. RACHEL AVERY No, it's OK. It's the elephant in the room, right? I found out he's been...John, my husband...I found out he's been cheating on me. ANTON BRODY No kidding. RACHEL AVERY No kidding. He, uh...he came home late one night. Well, a few nights actually. Said he was putting in a lot of overtime, some big new client that had to close by the end of the week. I bought it, why not right? Made sense at the time. The Friday of that week though, I borrowed his car first thing in the morning to run out to get some milk. I looked in the back seat...she left her purse behind. ANTON BRODY Ouch...How did you react? RACHEL AVERY How do you think? The second I got home I screamed at him, asking for an explanation. He made up some bullshit excuse. I can't even remember what it was now, it's not important. I could tell he was making it all up on the spot, he's a terrible liar. Rachel stops to wipe away a tear. RACHEL AVERY Anyways...what's done is done. And now, here I am, sitting with you in this fancy restaurant. And all the while it seems like I should feel like a total asshole for being here with you, but...I just don't care. I don't feel the least bit guilty about it. It feels right, somehow. ANTON BRODY Hey, listen... Anton lifts a glass. ANTON BRODY To new beginnings. RACHEL AVERY I can drink to that. They CLINK their glasses together and they both take a swig of wine and smile at one another. Rachel puts her hands back on the table and Anton puts his on top of hers. RACHEL AVERY It tastes a bit woody, I guess. They both laugh. |