Lullaby

Why should I survive?
I don’t feel alive
I don’t feel inside
I can’t even cry
I look up to the sky but I see no reasons why that my hope will soon revive so ill only close my eyes
Lullaby seems to hurt, I wrote my own but no one even heard I slept so much that it all seems a blur, I don’t feel anything I only observe
It’s like my destiny
Not to live
Just to watch
You see I watch the popular kids and their not watching me
I watch the TV and it’s not watching me
I hardly even believe that god is watching me
This bitterness has got to me
So broken so alone
If they don’t see me soon
I’m gonna have to make em see the truth
I’ll go to the school
I’ll make that place my tomb
Open up some wounds
And bleed all over the room.
Ill stumble to the halls
Write my message on the walls
They’ll all read the bloody scrawls
They’ll all see it’s all their fault
They’ll call me a tragedy,
They’ll call me something at least
Lullaby seems to hurt, I wrote my own but no one even heard I slept so much that it all seems a blur, I don’t feel anything I only observe
I remember times when I truly did believe
Had dreams.
Looked to Uganda to find children to feed
You see these other girls’ sin and seem to find the love they need
But I love god and he let this hell happen to me
Mom’s reading me psalms but I almost don’t believe them
And praying to a god I almost don’t believe in
You see I never even ate
But I’ll never be thin
And since I’ll never have a date I will never meet him
Scars on my soul like the scars on my limbs
From trying to fight the pain but I never seem to win
And scars on my stomach so I’ll never even swim
All I see is garbage in the mirror I’m peering in
My world is never bigger then right now and right here
My existence slowly dies
But it never disappears
It’s always overcast outside
And the sky is never clear
Why isn’t god here
Why are there no tears?
I hope for the hope
Hope god is in the smoke
That’s why I’ve drawn prayer beats on my shoes and on my coat
and why my suicide isn’t why you find this note
This isn’t my goodbye
Just a lullaby I wrote.
Lullaby seems to hurt, I wrote my own but no one even heard I slept so much that it all seems a blur, I don’t feel anything I only observe
Cry for her
And if you can’t cry please sympathize for her
Don’t walk
By her at least put your eyes on her
I won’t say goodbye to her
So put your hands in the sky for her.

I’d like to talk all day but I’m also not afraid to tell it straight
And I have to say as of late
I spot a lot of people’s arms and legs chained to weight
And their all chained to guilt
And chained to fear
And chained to hate
The sky is always grey
And the pain they can’t escape
Their wrists are rubbed raw so they choose to medicate
People popping pills born loose to medicate
Trying to lose the weight
But the weight won’t fade away
Desperate
They try to cut chains with razor blades
And accept their fate
But the fates amazing grace.
Cry for her
And if you can’t cry
Please sympathize for her
Don’t walk by her
At least put your eyes on her
I won’t say goodbye to her
So put your hands in the sky for her.