On Being Happy and Well-Adjusted

I'm a young man of about average height. Brown hair that almost fades to blonde in the sun. Narrow brown eyes. Expressive eyebrows, and an easy smile. My hair's a little ragged in the morning, and I let my stubble grow a little too long. In good shape but no six pack. Women are interested, but I'm no heart throb. People say that I'm "clean," but that's a word that can only accurately be used to describe others. I bathe every day, shave every few days, wash my hands regularly and change my clothes every day. Clean is a relative term.

So, that's me. When people describe themselves it's a warning sign. Maybe they are depressed, mentally unstable or in need of re enforcing compliments. Me, I'm happy with myself. And I'm boringly mentally stable. I've had my hard times and my worries and my sleepless nights. Depression runs in my family. But I'm my own psychologist. I admit that I, like everyone else, fit on a point on a long imaginary line running from raving madness to deadening normality.

The conscious mind is a private world that nobody else can understand, but if your thoughts and actions remain harmless and similar to those of others sanity is a meaningless term. It's a term like knowledge or skill that only relates to a complex balance of how much time one spends thinking or doing certain things. I spend my time being nice to people, and trying to learn as much as I can about the world around me. I'm not a master of anything, because I don't dedicate a disproportionate amount of time to anything. Instead of painting, studying or playing guitar for hours on end. I live, work, learn and socialize in balanced measures. I'm more successful than anyone expected me to be, more sane than I expected myself to be and can safely say that I like myself.

Shame is a crippling emotion that I avoid by learning from my mistakes. Every moment your new experiences make you a slightly different person, and if you mess up and learn from it you are someone who would not make the same mistake. If you make your life a constant struggle for self-improvement, nobody has a right to judge you. You don't have a right to judge them. Because of this, hate is an irrational emotion. Love is also an irrational emotion, but as it is beneficial rather than harmful I choose to hold onto it.

Finally, this brings me to morality. Morality is only useful as an illusion. Many people are only good in order to seem normal, or to avoid eternal damnation. Me, I am religious in that I believe that morality and goodness are very real and supernatural forces. After death, there may be nothing. My purpose in life is simply to be a good man. Fame, beauty and success are all ultimately means to achieve perfection, and perfection is impossible. I just want to live an interesting and adventurous life that leaves the world better off than if I had never been born. I don't believe that I can fail at that, and that is the only journey that can bring me happiness.

I do repeat some mistakes, hate some of the things that I do and have done, and wish that I were some things that I am not. That's what makes me human. What really hurts is seeing all of the people who haven't realized the things that I have realized, and haven't had the opportunities that I have had. I listen to a beautiful song on Youtube, and then I read the first comment. The comment says: "I've listened to this song every day for weeks. It is so sad and beautiful that it makes me want to do something that I regret, but I can't stop listening to it. I think I need mental help." When I read that comment I wished that that person could see things through my eyes. I want to comfort that person, and put my arm around their shoulder.

I have a excess of empathy that makes me want to sit and share a meal with every homeless person. That makes me want to console every grieving parent, befriend every lonely person and share the wealth of the rich with every starving family. I have an excess of understanding that makes me want to mediate every argument. It makes me want to understand why racists, terrorists and lunatics think the things that they do. And then I want to talk them out of it. I want to make hate a thing of the past. I am a hopeful person, and an extremely lucky person. I am middle class, with a wonderful family, good friends and a bright future. I want to use all of the power and confidence that it brings me to give others some of the hope and opportunities that I have. Using that power for anything else would be selfish.

That's me. You know me better than half my friends and most of my relatives. I hope I didn't bore you. I hope that if you are a sad, or hateful or lonely person you know that I care about you. I live to care about you, and I feel your pain. If you turn your life around, I feel your happiness. If I'm a lot like you, use your power as a happy well-adjusted person to help all of the people who aren't.