Feared Change

No one has ever come to me, or needed me; I’m just a useless existence no one was ever affected by me. Even my parents left me when I was born. I ended up in an orphanage when I was three years old, after years of being with 'friends of the family'.

I lived in an orphanage for four boring years… that was until Benny came, with that easygoing smile of his. His real name was Benjamin of course, but I call him Benny. He is 6 years old, one year younger than me, and even though his parents were viciously murdered in front of him he smiled everyday and at everyone. I love his smile. He is like a little brother to me, he even follows me around everywhere like a little duckling. Benny is very protective of me, and he would even yell at the other kids for calling me ‘monster’ or ‘creepy’ (even though they aren’t wrong). We support each other, and I thought that I could do anything for him. We had a happy life, and no cares in the world that was until the coughing started. Benny coughs every now and then, but we thought nothing of it.

Until one terrifying day, we were just playing out in the yard of the orphanage, and Benny started having a coughing fit. Me, being the detached and unemotional person I am just stared blankly at him, but soon enough blood started coming out of his mouth. My eyes widened and I gaped up at him. I quickly placed my hand on his back and started gently whispering reassuring words to him. His fit stopped for a moment; long enough for him to look up at me with his horrified eyes and tear streaked face telling me that he would be just fine. Benny soon started coughing again bringing up more blood with each cough, and before I knew it he was in my now numb arms. We started to bring attention to ourselves, and one of the caretakers rushed over asking me a million questions, and she soon lifted Benny out of my arms. Once they were out of sight the scene replayed in my head and I pressed my damp face into my hands and started wailing for my best and only friend.

Later that day I found out that Benny had a few broken ribs that were sticking into his lungs making him have coughing fits. It could be fixed with a surgery that cost a lot of money that no one at the poor orphanage could make or find… except me. I had been offered many times by the Emerald Change Group to be taken in, and to become this thing called a test subject I had only said no because I wanted to stay by Benny’s side, but now with him dying I quickly accepted as long as I would get the money to save Benny. I left while he was sleeping, knowing that there would be a tear-felt goodbye if Benny was awake, and he would beg me not to go knowing that I could never say no to him.

Instead I softly kissed Benny’s forehead whispering “Don’t worry I’ll make sure you feel better soon” with tears threatening to fall I spoke his name slowly and carefully.
Benny eyes split and he gave me a sleep filled smile and softly spoke the last words I would ever hear him say “I love you… Alice.”

Tears flowed down my cheeks and I replied, “I love you too Benny”. I leaned and hugged him gently until he fell back asleep I set him back down and quietly walked to the door. Before I walked out I look back at his sweet sleeping face, still with his ever-present smile that melts my heart, and that was my last look at my first “love”.