Lost Love

                                       Lost Love                                        
                                                                               
         When walking alone along the harbour shore, thinking about your                                                                      
         lost love. Looking deep into the sea and seeing the serenity and                                                                      
         peace of the calm moonlight water, but also knowing that underneath                                                                      
         the shimmering surface there is a turbulent under current, tossing                                                                      
         and turning, twisting and stirring the murky depths ready to                                                                      
         incarcerate you into a world of loneliness, so you may never surface                                                                      
         again.
                                                                     
         You stand and watch the swell, growing, consuming like the love                                                                      
         that once drenched your heart, filling every orifice until you are ready                                                                      
         to explode with such a joy and passion, knowing and touching that                                                                      
         true love is like the unbearable white heat of molten metal mixed                                                                      
          with the cool breeze of the day that brings you comfort and serenity.          
                                                           
         Then the white horses begin to rise from the depths, there manes like                                                                      
         fire, snorting with an uncontrollable rage, unleashing their ferocity                                                                      
         and wildness on the sea of tranquility. Roaring and trampling                                                                      
         all underfoot, they smash into the breakers of life with such force                                                                      
         and destruction, only to melt away back into the sea of compassion.
                                                                     
         You look and see that your true love has been wrenched from your                                                                      
         arms, the love that has entwined your hearts has been smashed and                                                                      
         crushed by the anger of the white horses, dragging her back into the                                                                      
         sea of emotions from where she once came.
                                                                     
         You are now like the broken drift wood, taken from the sunken                                                                      
         vessel of life, drifting where the sea of emotions takes you, never                                                                      
         understanding,but yearning for your true love. As time subsides                                                                      
         she becomes a distant memory of the love, warmth and happiness                                                                      
         she once gave.                                                                      
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                           (cont)
                                                           page 2
         Your heart slowly grows cold, no emotions or feelings, hardening                                                                      
         like rock but so brittle to the touch. The sea grinds and crushes you                                                                      
         against other lost souls, weakening the very essence of love from                                                                      
         your frame until you become broken like the pebbles on a beach.
                                                                     
         The sea caries you from shore to shore, discarding your hopes,                                                                      
         desires and memories, scattering your dreams on the beach of                                                                      
         isolation, hoping that they will never be rekindled.
                                                                     
         A light flickers as you remember your true love, she's standing on                                                                      
         the dock side, ready to board the ship of life. No emotions shown, no                                                                      
         looking back, hoping she will find the harbour's where once she found                                                                      
         safety and sanctuary, praying that her deep emotions of love will                                                                      
         return.
                                                                     
         You slowly drift without thought or expectation. Abandoning your                                                                      
         hearts desire, the love that burned so deeply becomes a memory of the                                                                      
         past. You board different ships, traveling from port to port, looking                                                                      
         for the new adventures to fulfill the void of emptiness.
                                                                     
         As you travel the seas another ship comes towards you, your heart                                                                      
         is rekindled, because from afar you see your true love standing on                                                                      
         the deck looking for her love that once was. You shout and yell to                                                                      
         each other with so much joy and happiness, reaching out, straining                                                                      
         for that one touch of love that used to be. Your heart beating,                                                                      
         pulse racing, fingers touch for a fleeting moment,  but again your                                                                      
         true love has slipped from your grasp.
                                                                     
         Your ship docks at the next port, with every emotion alive you                                                                      
         race to the dock side, looking so intensely, hoping and dreaming that                                                                      
         your true loves vessel will return.

        As time passes, the passion and desires that once burnt deeply
        inside slowly subside into a true realization. You are the drift wood,
        no home, no safe port to harbour from the storms of life. Just
        isolation in the sea of emotions.                                                                      
                                                                               
                                                 

(Original workings).



Walking slowly along the harbour wall. Circled

and  entrapped by the solitude of thoughts. Alone,

and  encompassed in the harsh winds of reality, that

blow so deep within my soul. Searching for those

answers to the many consuming and conflicting

questions that tear deep within my heart and mind.

Looking for that reason to allow peace, serenity and

Understanding to come back into my anguished

and broken heart.


Slowly turning peering deep into the calm tranquil

water, being mesmerized by its serenity and peace as the

moonlight glimmers and flickers gently on the shimmering

rolling surface. The swell grows, it entices and consumes

just like the love that once drenched my heart, filling

every orifice of my being to the point of exploding with

pure ecstasy.  Releasing a joy and passion of touching

and knowing that true love. Being liken to-an unbearable

white heat mixed with the cool breeze of the day, bringing

comfort and serenity.


Looking deeper, I see the secret hidden turbulence of

the under current, ready to devour and swallow, dragging

me down into the deep and murky depths, tossing and twisting

my soul to incarcerate me into a world of loneliness.


As the waters become petulant, rippling and swirling.From

the depths rise the white horses, Manes like fire, snorting

with an uncontrollable rage as they release their fury, ferocity

and wildness on the sea of tranquility. Roaring with an

unquenchable thirst they trample, destroy and devastate all

underfoot, then smash into the breakers of life with such

force only to melt back into the sea of compassion.


From their devastation, I see my true love has been

wrenched from my arms. A love that had entwined my

heart, soul, mind and thoughts. Just smashed and crushed

through the power of destruction. Leaving me like broken

drift wood wrenched from the sunken vessel of life, drifting

amorously in a world of confusion never understanding but

still yearning for my love.


Slowly as time subsides my thoughts and passions ebb and

become like distant memories. The deep feelings of love,

warmth, happiness and security she once offered and gave me

begin to fade away into a fog of time. My heart slowly grows

colder and emotionless, removing any expectations of life

and love. Hardening like a rock with no compassion yet so

brittle and fragile to the touch. The sea slowly grinds at

the very essence of life smashing my frame against other

lost souls, weakening and crushing until I become like

a pebble on the beach.


Lying there isolated and desolate the sea picks me up time

and time again carrying me from shore to shore, casting

my dreams, hopes and aspirations on to the islands of

despair. From afar I see a light flicking and a glowing warmth

returns to my heart as I remember and see my once

true love standing and waiting in anticipation to board the

ship of life.


I look and see her demure has changed, no emotions, no

anticipation, no looking back. Only a hope that she can

find the safe harbour's where she once found the safety

and sanctuary of life, and to pray for the return of the deep

emotional love that she once knew.


With a heart reinvigorated and a soul so dry and parched

I board different ships and travel from port to port

searching for new adventures that will rejuvenate my love,

desires and hope, and vanquish the void of emptiness from

my life.


Traveling the lonely oceans searching and scouring for

those lost desires, I see a ship approaching. My heart

flickers and stirs with the emotions and desires once

forgotten, saturating the darkness with such light.


From afar, I see the silhouette of my true love standing

upon the ships deck, surveying the waters for the love that once

was. With realization I gesture, we yell and shout to each

other.  There is such an uncontrollable passion in my heart

as I reach out straining for that one touch of true love.
         
For a fleeting moment our finger tips touch, then once again

she is snatched from my grasp.


When docking at the next port I race to the key side with

my heart burning so intensely, hoping and praying that my

true loves vessel will return. But as time passes by the feelings

and desires begin to subside into a true realization. That I am

that piece of drift wood or pebble on the beach. With no

safe port to harbour or weather the storms of life. Just

isolation in the sea of emotions