Return from the Blue and White Planet

Note:  This short-story is a follow-up to Mission to the Blue and White Planet.  It is not intended to stand alone and should be read after Mission to the Blue and White Planet.

It is a story about the crew of the Horth interstellar class cruiser HHC Duckwort.  This story begins with the return trip to Horth.  Part of the Duckwort’s mission included a 1947 flyover of Roswell, New Mexico.  It didn’t go well.



Return from the Blue and White Planet



Hork had almost 56 yaors to think about what impact their mission might have on the Blue and White planet, but especially, what it would mean to Horth.

After all, they had only dropped a little trash.  Soup cans and sandwich wrap?  Who could make anything of that?

A book about model airplanes?  Even if the planet’s inhabitants used written language they would never be able to read Horthian and of what use would pictures of delta-winged aircraft be anyway?  Inconsequential.

A hand held calculator?  Of no importance.  Again, they would never be able to read the symbols on the buttons and he had seen the insides of one of these things, nothing to see really, just little black rectangular things with wires sticking out of them.

Just as his spirits would begin to lift, his thoughts always returned to the big-eyed rubber dolls released by crewman Javka Ran.  Well, they were just dolls after all.  They probably wouldn’t raise any interest even if one of the inhabitants did find them.

After all the rationalization, after trying to convince himself to the contrary, he finally accepted the truth.  He thought, “After the court martial I’ll probably be cleaning latrines for the next 56 yaors.”  Hork came to terms with his fate.

He would forever be known as the infamous Captain Hork, who had once led a mission to the Blue and White planet and brought failure and disgrace to Horth.

Hork’s species was very long lived, he would have many yaors left, but he knew he wasn’t going to enjoy any of them.


The Duckwort Returns

After 112 yaors the Duckwort and her crew finally returned home.  Now in orbit around Horth, Zzzzk was preparing the ship for atmospheric flight.  For six orbits they had been flashing the landing signal to Horth Interstellar Flight Command and would be setting down on HIFC’s number 1 landing pad in exactly one oure.

Hork stood in front of his cabin mirror making sure his freshly laundered dress uniform met High Command standards.  He would hold his head up and take full responsibility for the mess they had made on that little blue and white world.  After all, he was the Duckwort’s Captain.  Possibly Zzzzk could be spared any embarrassment associated with their tragic mission.  Javka Ran on the other hand…no, he was the Captain.  He was the one at fault.  He would make a full report about polluting the blue and white world even before the Duckwort’s records were analyzed.

Hork examined the features of his face.  Long gone were the wrinkles of youth.  His once gleaming silver gray hair had turned to a light shade of brown.  Hork didn’t feel old, but certainly no one would now recognize him as the same young man that had left Horth those many yaors before.

*

With Zzzzk at the controls, the Duckwort landed.  Hork, Javka Ran and Zzzzk disembarked.  112 yaors and they once again stood on Horth.

A crowd was approaching.  They were all wearing strange wide brimmed hats with cards stuck in the hatbands.  The cards only had one word on them, PRESS.  What was PRESS supposed to mean?  What were these strange people going to press?  The crew of the Duckwort stood shoulder to shoulder.

Hork then noticed the stubby little clubs they all carried.  What were they going to do?  As they neared, Hork involuntarily threw up his upper appendages to fend off the beating he was surely going to receive.  How could they know of his failure?

But instead of attacking him they simply stuck their clubs under his nose and started firing questions at him.

“How does it feel to be back home?  What was it like being in space for 112 yaors?  How does it feel to be one of Javka Ran’s crewmates?  Did you know of his brilliant plan beforehand?”

Questions, his head was swimming with one inane question after another.  Thankfully the crowd lost interest in him and now all had their clubs stuck under Javka Ran’s nose.

Hork turned to Zzzzk, “Do you have any idea what’s going on?”

Zzzzk said, “None whatsoever.”

A smartly dressed young HIFC officer appeared.  He saluted and said, “If you will, please follow me.”

Hork, Javka Ran and Zzzzk were escorted through this strange group of people.  They had all stuck their clubs under their own noses and were talking to them.  Hork was totally bewildered.

They were led through the front entrance of what Hork recognized as Cave A of the HIFC complex.

There, in the atrium, a truly unbelievable sight stood before them.  If Hork had not been a highly trained officer in HIFC’s High Command he would surely have fainted.

There, for everyone to see, was a larger than life statue of Javka Ran.  The Javka Ran statue was smiling benignly at a small blue and white ball he was holding in his upper right appendage.  A plaque at the base proclaimed, Javka Ran, Father of Modern Communication.

But far worse than the statue of Javka Ran were the two smaller statues.  One was a likeness of First Officer Zzzzk and the other clearly himself, Captain Hork.  Both statues were looking upward at the likeness of Javka Ran with the greatest of admiration.  Hork fainted.

Fortunately, the always faithful Zzzzk kept him from completely collapsing right there in front of those strange people with the weird hats and little clubs.

The young HIFC officer rushed over to Hork.  “Are you in need of assistance?”

Hork said, “No, I’m fine.  I just need to see the Commander.  To make my report.”

The young officer said, “I’ll call him, just try to relax.”

Hork said, “Call him!  No, don’t call him anything!  I’m in enough trouble as it is.”

The young officer said, “Sir, a lot has happened since you began your mission 112 yaors ago.  I think there’s a lot of catching up you need to do.”

Hork thought, “That is certainly an understatement.”  He turned to Zzzzk and said, “You have fulfilled all your obligations to me in exemplary fashion and no longer serve as my First Officer, but as a friend could you help me get through this?”

Zzzzk said, “I too need some answers.  As always, you may count on me Sir.”

Javka Ran was still admiring his statue.  Hork heard him say, “Father of Modern Communication, Hek, hek, hek, snick, snick, snort.”

Hork thought, “If only I could get hold of one of those clubs.”


Catching Up

With the help of the young HIFC officer Hork and Zzzzk soon learned of many new and disquieting things.  Radios, telephones and even TVs.  Those little clubs were called microphones.  You could actually talk to someone far away just by speaking into a telephone.  All of these strange words were linked to Modern Communications and Javka Ran apparently was somehow responsible for bringing all this to Horth.  ‘Javka Ran, The Father of Modern Communications.’  Hork grimaced at the thought of Javka Ran being the father of anything.

Zzzzk was determined to find out what had happened to their world, spending the next several daos in the public library going over old newspapers and public documents.  He even got into the official, and some unofficial, HIFC records, rapidly assimilating a thorough understanding of what was happening on Horth.

Javka Ran spent his time talking to anyone who would listen.  He was doing really well.  Since he seldom knew or cared what was going on, the new developments on Horth didn’t bother him in the least.  He just went with the flow, making appearances on all of the TV talk shows, his story grander with each retelling.  By the fifth show he was still grateful to Hork and Zzzzk for the diminishing part they played in his great mission.

Meanwhile, Hork was wandering aimlessly through the city.  On nearly every corner there was a telephone booth.  Many stores were selling TVs.  A new store, RadioCave, advertised Cell Phones, Radios, TVs, VCRs and all your electronic needs.  Apparently this Cell Phone was one of the newest electronic needs.
 
Hork had seen a few people walking around talking into Cell Phones, totally oblivious to anything happening around them.

Certainly, Modern Communication was going to be the ruination of Horth.

On the positive side, Hork learned that he would indeed receive all his back pay.  He would have his nice comfortable cave after all.  No grand parade though, now, with TV, there were few parades.  No one wanted to leave their TVs long enough to watch a parade.

Zzzzk finally completed his investigation and went to Hork’s temporary quarters at the mini-cave complex next to one of the new restaurants called IHOP, which stood for International House of Pancakes.

Upon meeting, Zzzzk greeted Hork, “Captain.”

“I’m retiring Zzzzk, no longer Captain, just plain old Hork.”

Zzzzk said, “You were my Captain for 112 yaors, I can address you by nothing else.”

“Ahh Zzzzk, what a fine officer you’ve always been, unlike…”  He suddenly realized he couldn’t bring himself to say that name.  “OK Zzzzk, what did you find?”

Zzzzk suggested they talk during their morning meal at the International House of Pancakes.  Neither knew what a ‘House’ was but both agreed they liked the ‘pancakes with maple syrup.’  Surprisingly good after you got past the idea of food made from ground up weed seeds and tree sap.  They didn’t want to know what other ingredients might be in their ‘pancakes with maple syrup.’

Zzzzk began, “Well to begin at the beginning.  Do you recall the strange electromagnetic radiation we discovered that emanates from the little blue and white world?”

“Yes, I remember.”

Zzzzk said, “The radiation was not naturally occurring.  The beings on the planet found a way to create and modulate this radiation and in that way were able to send and receive data over great distances.  A few yaors after we set out on our mission scientists here on Horth also discovered this radiation emanating from the blue and white world.  The scientists studied it and found a pattern.  This pattern or ‘signal’ is the basis for electromagnetic communication.  They were able to build devices that converted this electromagnetic signal back to pictures and sounds.  Thus was born ‘Modern Communication.’  Eventually they were able to translate the speech patterns in the signals.  A great deal is now known about the Blue and White planet.

Before we even reached the Blue and White planet, radios and telephones were being used everywhere on Horth.”

“So, we are not to blame?”  A great burden seemed to lift from Hork’s shoulders.

“No, we’re not to blame, except for, well--I guess we kind of fanned the fires of change with our mission.”

Hork felt the weight returning.  “How could a backward place like the Blue and White planet have this knowledge when Horth did not?”

“Virtually all of our technology concerning data gathering has been based on visual observations.  For hundreds of yaors we’ve used extremely advanced optics and spectral analysis to study everything from the smallest of particles to the stars.  Flashing visible light code was all we ever needed and that was usually only to signal one of our spaceship’s intention to land.  The discovery of Modern Communication has changed everything.”

Hork thought, “That’s putting it mildly,” but he didn’t comment.

Zzzzk continued, “Apparently we’ve caught up with, and possibly surpassed Earth, what we have always called the Blue and White planet.”

“Earth?  That’s what the sentient beings call their planet?” Hork inquired.

“Yes, and I’m somewhat embarrassed by some errors I made.”  Zzzzk added, “First of all let me say that I assumed all of our records were correct.  It has long been believed that the four-legged Earth inhabitants were the most intelligent species.  It has been found that, in fact, the little bipeds are the ones responsible for the electromagnetic signals, although it is still unknown just how much smarter they really are.  Still, I should have determined this as we approached Earth.  I also erred in my assessment of the large beetles.  They are not creatures, but rather mechanical constructs built by the bipeds, or humans, as they refer to themselves.”

Hork said, “No need for apologies, but what is the purpose of these beetles?”

Zzzzk answered, “Either cars or sometimes automobiles, that’s what the humans call them.  They are used for powered locomotion.  Humans ride inside them to go from one place to another.”

Confused, Hork said, “But they are too small.  How could you fit an engine into one of these cars?”

Zzzzk said, “The humans have developed an internal combustion engine to power not only cars but small aircraft and boats as well.  Unlike what we normally think of as an engine the things are powered by liquid hydrocarbons.  They rapidly burn gasoline, refined from liquid hydrocarbons, to make rotational power that causes the cars to move.  It is a very inefficient process producing many toxic gasses but it also has the advantage of allowing for very small engines.”

He continued, “Many large pools of liquid hydrocarbons have been found under Horth’s surface.  Gasoline is now being refined from the liquid hydrocarbons.  Production of cars has already begun here on Horth.  Before there is widespread use of these cars, many millions of flives of stone paths will have to be constructed, so the cars have something on which to move.”

Hork said, “Telephones, Radios, TVs, Gasoline, Cars, Humans, Stone Paths!  I don’t think I’ll ever be able to make any sense of this.”

Zzzzk said, “It seems few can.”

Hork asked, “How does Ja…How does Ja…Jav… How does HE fit into this?”

Zzzzk said, “I had to really dig deep to piece together the whole story.  Fortunately bureaucrats find themselves unable to destroy any document they have created regardless of how damning it may be.

A number of the recorded signals showed the events shortly after we had completed our mission.  The pictures and audio accounts were very interesting to the people of Horth, especially the ones of Javka Ran’s toys, those big-eyed rubber Space Aliens.  Apparently they created quite a stir on Earth, as did our flyovers.  Video images of the Duckwort made it to Horth.  People were fascinated by the accounts of our mission.  They wanted more.  TV was in big demand.

Someone came up with the idea to make a new action TV show.  One TV network searched through some of HIFC’s records and found the Duckwort’s manifest.  From that they learned that Javka Ran had taken those action figures aboard as part of his personal baggage.  TV producers, the people responsible for selling toothpaste and soap on TV, then incorporated a few facts, some conjecture and a lot of complete fabrication into audio/video productions.  ‘The Adventures of Javka Ran’ was the highest rated TV show for seven straight yaors.  Javka Ran was portrayed by an actor named Arro Fin.  An acting team, Lauurl and Harrr Dee, played our parts.”

Hork sat glassy eyed, still Zzzzk continued, “HIFC reviewed Javka Ran’s service record and found that he was, as I believe you once put it, ‘a complete noodle.’  They decided they had to set the record straight.  And they did so.  They amended Javka Ran’s service record to show that his entire life was dedicated to the betterment of all Horthkind.  Then they concocted a story about his plan for this special mission to seed the Blue and White planet with just enough physical evidence of life outside their own little solar system to bring about these monumental discoveries that Horth now enjoys.  Television intends to take advantage of his renewed popularity.  ‘The New Adventures of Javka Ran’ will be on TV soon.”

Hork said, “But, but, but…”

Kindly Zzzzk replied, “I know, Captain,” then softly repeated, “I know.”


Home Forever

Zzzzk had taken a position as coordinator of the largest of the new radio telescopes on Horth.  New data from the Blue and White planet streamed in daoly.  Though somewhat saddened by the current changes in Horth culture Zzzzk was adapting well.  Zzzzk and Hork met once in a while at the IHOP to just relive the old times over pancakes with maple syrup.

During a televised ceremony Javka Ran was awarded a medal for his great horthitarian efforts and promoted to the rank of Commodore, then was immediately retired before he could cause any damage.  He soon gained star status in the phantom world of television, making guest appearances in numerous action TV productions and featured regularly in all the tabloids that had sprung up recently.

Missions to the Blue and White planet, Earth, continued as they always had.  Missions virtually identical to Hork’s own mission.  It seems that some things never change.

The cost of a nice cave had dropped drastically now that the market was flooded with them since many people were now chopping down trees to build wooden nests everywhere.  An idea they got from watching TV signals received from the Blue and White planet.

Hork brooded for days on end.  The great Horthian people conquered by a simple wiggling bit of magnetic energy.  Hork was sure that if telephones, TVs and cars didn’t ruin Horth then wooden nests certainly would.

Hork did realize some of his dream.  He now lived in one of the very finest caves on Horth.  You could even call it luxurious.  He would never have a car, ever.  His cave did, of course, have a radio, TV and telephone.  He was determined they would never be used.  He had no need for such things.

The Horth he had known was gone.  He would have preferred deep space, but even if he could somehow return to active duty he knew he was far too old to ever again be given a deep-space command.  So now he lived in a world full of TVs, radios, telephones, cars, flive after flive of stone paths, wooden nests and heroes like Ja..Ja..Jav…Ahhhh.

He would forever be known as the famous Captain Hork, who had once led a mission to the Blue and White planet and helped bring Modern Communication to Horth.

Hork’s species was very long lived, he would have many yaors left, but he knew he wasn’t going to enjoy any of them.