Guardian Angel--Chapter One--

Chapter One; Another to Sleep in the Sky

Sometimes, my world feels like a scarf wrapped a little too tightly around my neck. Choking me. Strangling me. And no matter what I do, I can’t loosen the scarf, or numb the piercing pain. It feels like everyone else has gills and I’m here gasping for any bit of air I could breathe…drowning. Everyone else around me can fly high to the scattered stars above my thoughtful head; meanwhile I’m left on the ground forgotten, trying to make my way through the never-ending storm.

Nobody ever asks if I’m okay, though. Nobody could ever see beyond the fake smile I paint on my face every day. But at night, when I wash the paint off, the smile vanishes, and the mirrored reflection of my face becomes distorted in my tears.

My scars are fading, yet I break my vow to stop. I pick up the blade, sharp as a devil’s glare. It’s like drawing lines on a canvas; however the pencil is my blade, the canvas my wrist. A river, no, a waterfall of rose red blood- as red as a sore thumb or a blushing girl’s cheeks floods out of me.
It hurts. I won’t deny that. However the pain numbs the depression burning my insides.

The next day I’ve run out of the paint I brush onto my face. I walk slowly into school- tears welling in my eyes, scars visible, smile no more- and I’m just in time for assembly.

“We have such terrible, tragic news…one of our students is no longer with us. She’s joined the stars in the sky. God has gained one more beautiful angel to watch over us. We’ll miss her greatly, she will be remembered. Farewell, Amber Williams, bless your heart. You will never be forgotten”

Some people are whispering in sudden shock of her departure… and some are lamenting. No one acknowledges me at all- because I am no more.
I committed suicide last night. And now I’m here:

A guardian angel.