Risking It All

“Bro, she’s freaking gorgeous though!” Mike exclaimed as he slapped his palms against the table. Two waitresses turned and glared momentarily before returning to work.
“I hear you Mike, but you know I don’t like dates—especially with uppity chicks like that one,” Trey responded annoyed.
“See? That’s the problem with you, Trey. You make it seem like your trynna meet your wife or something. You ever thought of just having a fun night?”
Trey shrugged. “What’s the point? Look. I meet the girl. We party all night, then I have to find a way to kick her out and still make me breakfast in the morning. It’s the same thing over and over Mikey.”
“Do you hear yourself!?” Mike was getting loud again. “You’re so—so lame these days! You’re 25 Trey! You know that!? What’s up with you? I know what it is. Ever since you and that broad Sandra broke—“
“Don’t!” Trey shouted. “Don’t go there! You know I hate hearing her name! You say I’m lame, but you’re the one with the real problem. All you care is about running through bimbos and expect me to do the same. How about you take all you’re crap, you’re gorgeous dates, and save it for someone who cares!” Trey jumped up from his leather booth seat and threw down $20 for his lunch before storming out of the door.
Trey raged down the street as his thoughts swarmed. Who the heck did Mike think he was? He knew better than to bring up Sandra. He knew how much it hurt and how it would make the memories come flooding back—her smile, her laugh, the way her skin smelled, the day she left him.
“I can’t do this anymore.” she had said blankly to him. He thought he was joking until he looked up and saw her face. Instead of a mischievous grin, she frowned at him. It was all downhill from there. He could still see those sad eyes glaring into his…
He shook his self away from the sound of her voice and looked up. He finally realized where he was, pacing around Central Park. Even the beautiful scenery and happy faces around him couldn’t get rid of his pain. He was about to cut off the side walk and head home when...
“Hey! Watch out!” a woman shouted as Trey felt himself trip and land on another being.
“Sorry Miss,” Trey said as he stood up and dusted himself off. When he reached down to help her up, he caught a glimpse of her face for the first time. She was beautiful. Actually, “beautiful” wasn’t the right word at all. She was too plain to be beautiful, but in the end that’s what made her look so great in the first place. She had flawless brown skin, large almond eyes, and a daring smile.
“Whoa,” was all he could breathe.
She glanced up at him. “Wow, I knew I this haircut looked a little different, but is it that bad?” She smiled, jokingly. Trey smiled back, and she beamed.
He helped her up. “Well, I remember People saying that highlights are out of style,” Trey smirked.
“Ah,” the woman nodded as she smoothed off her skirt. “Now, to whom do I owe such helpful highlight advice?”
“Trey,” Trey responded. “And to whom did I have the pleasure of knocking over?”
She beamed again. “April. Not May—a lot of people get me confused with May.”
Trey chuckled in spite of himself, but then automatically shut it down. “Well, it was nice meeting you April.”
April’s smile turned to disappointment. “Oh, okay then. It was nice meeting you too Trey.” Then they parted. Trey would’ve loved to ask her out for dinner, but love and relationships just didn’t make any sense to him anymore. Not after the day he watched his one and only love pack her things and leave his life forever. If that was all love had to offer, then he didn’t want any of it.

It had been about a week since Trey had spoken to Mike. Mikey was his best friend and he’d known the guy since they were toddlers, but sometimes Mike could be a real jerk about stuff. Trey pondered the lecture he’d hear from his mom when she heard about their argument as he waited in line to order his coffee. He’d been coming to this cafe for years and recognized about every person in there. All except for the woman in line a few people In front of him. Her hair shook as she spoke to the clerk at the counter. Matter of fact, it was her hair that caught him—russet with chocolate highlights that flowed to her shoulders. The same exact hair as…
“April?” Trey asked more to himself than to her.
April turned with a latte in hand. “Oh hey!” she bubbled. “The-human-bulldozer-slash-highlight-expertise, right?”
“Yep,” Trey smiled.
April came back in line to stand with him. She glared with a serious look, and her eyes hardened, making her seem sterner. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but are you following me?”
“What!?” Trey exclaimed.
April laughed. “Gosh, I was just kidding. If anything I’m following you. It’s my first time in New York.”
Trey exhaled. “Well, if you were stalking me, no one could really blame you,” he chuckled.
“Hm, the conceited type huh?”
Trey shrugged coolly. “Eh, what can I say?”
April laughed again. “Can I ask you something Trey?”
“Uh, sure,” Trey responded surprised. “What is it?”
“Do you like me?”
The question slapped him in the face. Trey panicked as April watched him, awaiting his answer. What should he do? Should he make up an excuse to leave? Should he lie and tell her he’s taken? It had been almost a minute and the mood was only becoming tenser. Say something, you moron! Trey thought to himself.
“Yeah, I do,” Trey answered honestly.
April thought for a moment. “And you think I’m cute, right? Not like a supermodel or anything, but I don’t look like an ogre or anything either?”
Trey chuckled at the ridiculousness of the question. “Actually, I think you’re one of the prettiest women I’ve ever seen in my life.” He had no idea where all these confessions were coming from; he just couldn’t bring himself to lie to those beautiful eyes.
April smiled kindly at him, and then her face turned serious. “Then why haven’t you asked me out yet?”

That night, Trey had the time of his life; April had a way of making the little things seem the most important. Just walking around Central Park eating gelato and talking was more fun than all of the times he took his dates to the best restaurants in the city. He felt something different from April, something that opened him up. He hadn’t felt like this since…Sandra.
So as the weeks turned into months—as the connection between Trey and April strengthened—he couldn’t help but close her off when things got too sensitive. He could still feel his love and hurt for Sandra yanking at him, closing his throat, scaring him. He wanted to love April so bad, to give her the wonderful feeling that she gave him, but the pain was too much. He often found himself pulling away when she would reach out to stroke his face or touch his arm.
One night, as they returned to her apartment from the movies, April dropped her keys on the table exasperatedly.
“I can’t do this anymore,” she said softly.
Trey felt his chest tighten as his heart was about to burst. No, not again. Please not another girl I love saying she’s done with me. He turned around to face his fate, yet, when he saw her face, it wasn’t the same expression Sandra had had. Sandra had looked discontent and unhappy, but April looked hurt, as if her heart were about to burst along with his.
“Look,” she continued. “I love you, Trey. Call it being young and dumb or whatever, but I really do. And I-I know—” her voice trembled as the tears rolled down her cheeks, “I know that you’ve been hurt, badly. I can see the pain in your face; it hurts you to love. But I can’t control what I feel, and I don’t wanna deny it. You can stay the night, and leave in the morning if you want—I won’t force you to be a part something you don’t want to. Just don’t forget that I love you.”
Trey stared at her blankly. “Okay.”
He thought that he had done a better job of hiding his feelings. Maybe he had; maybe April just saw more than the average person did.
The rest of the night went on as usual. The couple watched a movie, ate some popcorn, and when April fell asleep in his arms, Trey helped her to bed. He gently placed April down before placing the nearest blanket over her. As she softly breathed, Trey sat and watched at her bedside. April was so beautiful, and she was so special. Trey could see himself spending the rest of his life with her. He loved her, and he had known it since the moment he saw her. April was different, quirky, and kind. She told corny jokes and always laughed at his; April was his other half.
Trey’s head felt as if it was swelling, and his thoughts whirled around like a tornado. He was so darn tired. He was sick of letting his life pass him by, sick of not believing in love, of not having hope. Trey hated doing the same thing to April that Sandra had done to him, but he didn’t think he had any other choice. His insides ached every time he thought of being hurt again. He couldn’t risk it, could he?
He decided that he wouldn’t stay until the morning if he wasn’t going to stay forever—he knew all too well how much it stung to watch your love leave you. Sandra’s last words still echoed through his head:
“I’m leaving because I love you too much to stay. This is for the best, you’ll see,” she uttered as she walked out.
He finally understood her words now, and, still gazing at April’s angelic face, he knew he had a decision to make.

April awoke with a start, her head spinning. The morning sun shone through her window. As she stared up at the ceiling, the events of last night rushed back to her conscience. Maybe she shouldn’t have emptied out all her feelings like that. Had he decided to leave? Suddenly, she heard a voice, barely a whisper:
“Hey there, sleepy.”
April turned to her side to find Trey in bed lying beside her, smiling. She couldn’t help but smile back.
“You stayed!” she whispered back excitedly.
Trey grinned placed a hand on her cheek. “Of course I stayed. April, I love you, and you were right about my past. When Sandra left me, I didn’t believe in love. At first I thought I didn’t have a reason to get down and try, but then I realized you’re all the reason I need. I don’t ever wanna lose you, girl. When I look at you, I’m willing to risk all that pain again. You helped me understand that love isn’t just some fairy-tale.” Trey pulled April in close to him as he added. “And there’s no way I will leave you—not in this lifetime.”