Dear Zoo Patrons

Word count: 172 words.



Dear faithful zoo patrons,

STOP! Just STOP! That infernal tapping, pounding, yelling and screaming! STOP ALREADY! How about if I came to your house and yelled and pounded on your windows? Not once but EIGHT FREAKING HOURS A DAY! Trust me I’d do it. Especially for the young high pitched screamers. MOMMY! MOMMY! LET ME PET HIM! MOMMY! NOW MOMMY! Lord in heaven you let them rip me from MY home and toss me here. What did I ever do to YOU?! This is no zoo! This is HELL EIGHT FREAKING HOURS A DAY! Please lord let me eat just one of those little mouthfuls and I’ll die happy. Seriously lord. Just one. Just one of those little screamers. Crunchy, yummy, blissfully DEAD! I know I’d be sent of the infernal zoo but it would be worth it. Seriously worth it. MOMMY! WHY DOES HE LOOK SO MEAN? Because I’d eat you in a heart beat. Trust me mommy -- your little screamer is MINE.

Love and kisses,

Barry the Very Pissed Off