A Woman Discovers What Happened To Her The Previous Night, Comically. |
“Why didn’t someone stop me?” I asked my friends as we sat at the breakfast table. Molly, Kevin, and Hailie took turns looking at each other. I knew that somehow they would find a way to blame me. Like it was my fault that I found some hot, young guy who wanted to explore the temple known as my body. “You guys really dropped the ball on this one.” “Judy, are you being serious right now?” Molly asked, her tone suggested that I had better be joking. Her tone made me angrier at my friends than I already was. “You went to the bathroom and came out hanging all over that guy. We all warned that no good could come out of going to bed with him…” Just as I tuned her out, Kevin tool over the story telling. Since he was a lawyer, my lawyer, it was better for me to listen to him. “But you told us that you had no intention of going to bed with him, rather you would have sex with him on the beach, in the pool, and most disturbingly at the bar.” “Then you went into details about what you did to him in the bathroom. And just so you know, you need to see a dentist before you kiss me with that mouth.” How was I friends with such prudes. If they didn’t want me sleeping with random guys then they should have been better friends. What kind of woman would allow a single, sad friend go to the bathroom by herself. A bad friend, that’s what kind. I leaned in towards Hailie but she moved away. “I’m not joking; don’t come near me with that mouth.” I went to say something but the blond God who had rocked my world the night before walked into the dining room. I brushed my hair back and willed my cheeks not to burn with embarrassment. Clumsily I stood up, and made my way over to him. A small smile formed on his face when he seen me, his hazel twinkled with delight. “Judy, how are you feeling this morning?” “Well you should know.” His tone was not as friendly as one would expect after a young man just had sex. Maybe he was accustomed to being with a woman at night and in the morning; frankly if he wanted to be with me then he would just have to find a second girl. There was no way I was going to have that much sex. “After you left last night, I was ashamed and embarrassed.” “Heavens, why?” “After you asked how big my bank account was, and then laughing when I answered 6 and a half inches, I figured out you weren’t making a euphemism. No woman has ever laughed at me when my clothes were off before. And I really wanted to nail you.” Nail me? What did he think I was a piece of wood? I said nothing as I walked away. |