Along The Way

I have been...
Mother's daughter and sister's mother at times,
Caretaker of this family structure,
Keeper of secrets mostly not my own,
A friend many more times than befriended,
Once a child and twice a mother at the very same time,
And all the while a wife before I was even a woman,
.           ..There, along the way.

I have been...
Misunderstood before my understanding could take hold,
Stumbling upon pieces of me that didn't fit,
Paying the price of my Self with those very same pieces,
Choosing the life I thought I should live,
Finding myself living a life I'm not sure I would have chosen,
...Travailing, along the way.

I have been...
Wondering who I am becoming,
Wishing I knew where it is I am to be going,
Lost in the confusion of how I could have everything,
And not have enough,
In fear of the answers I might find,
If I weren't so afraid to pose the questions,
A stranger to all who know me,
Unwilling to truly know my Self,
...Feeling this, along the way.

I have been...
Misguided by my own best intentions,
Misinformed by everyone else's,
Keeping the best in mind for those who depend on me,
Sacrificing the knowledge within my Self to do so,
Coming to the limit of how much I can take, while going astray from The life I'm suppose to be living,
...Now and then, and again; along the way.

I have been...
Seeking solace in that which I could not own,
Finding a new awareness in that which I can,
Opening doors I have kept locked so long I forgot why,
And discovering parts of my Self I thought I'd lost therein,
Truly alone within my Self while everything to everyone else,
...Here to, along the way.

I have been...
Woken from my slumber and unable to go back to sleep,
Sent on a journey of Self discovery with only faith of Self as my guide,
Hurting those I love the most in order to travel my own path,
Finding that to be an unnecessary reason to remain unself-fulfilled,
As I have been that which is expected of me,
And choose now to discover what I expect to be,
...Always and forever, along the way.


I have been...
…There,
…Travailing,
…Feeling this, …Now and then, and again,
…Here too,
…Always and forever,
...Along the way.