I'll just be me

I still can remember the cold metal against my skin, it sent shivers up my spine. It had come to the point where no sound was coming out, just tears running down my face. ''I'm stronger than this'' i sobbed. My heart trembled, i dropped the blade and forced my head back. Their words burned like poison,each other with a difference strength. ''Why'' i asked myself ''Why'' "Why" "Why" I yelled, i slammed my fist onto the dresser beside where i sit. The events played back in my head. Having all four periods with this hell was nothing but suffering. I would sit quietly putting my head down trying to avoid any contact. "Ew" she would whisper just loud enough so i would hear it. I would act as if i hadn't heard it, I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of knowing the venom she shot through me. I was never the type of girl looking for attention, nor was i the one to stand out. I was content with the 3 friends i had, but not her, not Nicky, she wanted me to have nothing, she simple wanted me dead. I brushed the name past me, continuing to work on the math assignment i didn't finish from the night before. I looked around the room catching the glare she shot at me, i turned my head. I never understood why she would put me through the everyday torture. I hated my life, everyday was a constant struggle for me to stay on this planet, and no one understood. Math class began and i payed attention as best as i could. "Ally" Mrs. Trenity called out, "what did you get for the 3 question?" My throat swelled in fear "I um, got, um" i stuttered while flipping through the paper trying to find the answer, "I got 18 for that bu-" "Very good" she cut me off. Nicky was never good at math, or any subject for that matter, it was one of the things i had over her. The day progressed and i was on my way to gym, the worst class of the day. Nicky had Kirsten and Autumn in there with her and they often took part in the harassment i endured. While walking to the locker room Kirsten 'coincidentally' put her gym bag right behind the door allowing my to trip in front of the girls class. Laughs escaped from all around, but i picked my self and walked to my corner where i changed and met up with my friend Nelly. " you okay?" she asked with some remorse in her voice. "yeah!" i tried my best to sound somewhat joyful. Today i felt lucky, i had only taken minimum abuse. When my mom picked me up from school that say the conversation went as always. "how was you day Al?'' "it was alright, i made a 92 on a world history test" "Good, did anything happen with, you know, Nicky" i was always embarrassed to talk about this, who wants a kid that gets bullied everyday. No one. I never felt like my parents never really wanted me. One day i would make them proud. I would show the world who i really am. "No mom" i snapped quickly "why do you always wanna ask me questions like this?" " im just making sure, im always here for you babe" she was to, anytime i needed to talk she would always listen. "Theres a new boy moving into the house next door, maybe you wanna go over and become friends, or help him unpack or-" "yeah i get it mom, be social, i gotcha" I hated being social, but i wasn't about to go sit in the house and start to think about everything that had happened to me. After the 5 minute drive home i hopped out the car and started to make my way over to the new kids house. When i made my way around the bush i found him unloading boxes from the travel truck. Wow. I was good at being social if i wanted to and i think this is one of those occasions. "Hey you must be the new kid, I'm Ally" "No ive lived here for a while now" he smiled and i let a small laugh escape my lips. "I'm Jacob, its nice to meet you" he extended his hand and i shook it. "Can i help you unload your truck?" "Sure, grab a box" I picked up a box that was fairly light and followed him to his room. He set his box down and sat on the ground. "Take a seat" he said patting the floor next to him. He pulled out a large notebook filled with tons of baseball cards. He had amazing blue eyes with dark brown eyes that complement his somewhat pale skin. "Enjoying the view?" he said his a smart smirk. "Uhh I, was just, um, no, i mean yeah, but i-i gotta get going, i have homework" I tried to walk out the room quickly. "Wait, what school do you go to?" he spat the question out like i was going to disappear and never be seen again. "I go to the middle school up the street, im in the 8th grade." "That to bad, im going to the high school, ill be the freshmeat this year" "good luck" i yelled half way down the hall, and like that i was gone For those few minutes in time i forgot anything that had that day. As i was walking back to my house i found a smile plaster on my face. "How'd it go Ally" my mom wailed over the running water in the kitchen. "He's really nice and cuu-cool, hes really nice and cool" i almost slipped. "thats good, maybe you guys will be friends" "Hopefully" i said and with that i paraded up the stairs to my room. As i looked out the window i noticed it was directly across from his. I stood there for a moment and with my luck he peered through his blinds and waved. I giggled and did the peace sign back to him. He grabbed a piece of paper and wrote down the question "Do you got a number?" I looked for my white board and write down my number. "DINNER" my mom shouted and i shut my blind and curtains with a smile. After dinner my parents excused me from helping clean up and i run to my room to check my phone. 'One new message' the screen read and i already knew who it was from. We spent the rest of the night interview each other and i told him about Nicky with the constant name calling and abuse.
"Punch her in the face, thats what i would do."
"i cant just punch someone in the face!" i was shocked that he thinks i could do something as cruel as that.
"i would paaaaaay you do punch her, just one good time, show her whos boss."
"Alright ill get right on that one, tomorrow ill beat the crap out of her."
"You should, someone as pretty as you shouldn't be treated like that, its not fair" and with that sentence a rush inside made me feel like i could do anything, be anything. achieve anything. Thoughts in my head ran wild, and at that moment anything was possible.
"Thanks, haha. but i really have to go to bed. Talk to you tomorrow."
My alarm rang at 6:30 in the morning and i had no problem waking up. I was a knew person. That day in math i sat a little taller and looked straight.
"Someones bright eyed and bushy tailed this morning" nothing Nicky said to me was going to bring me down. I was simple a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. When it came time for gym we were playing basketball and i felt a rather hard thump on my back i turned around to see it was no one other than Nicky, but i ignored it, maybe it was an accident. I was passing in back and fourth with Nelly when a paralyzing force hit me in the face.Nicky. I felt a warm sticky liquid running down my face. Drops of my blood hit the floor and this was the final straw. I couldnt do this anymore, this was the first time she has caused me such pain, not only mentally but physically that i just snapped. I wiped that blood with my shirt, picked up her basketball and started walking to her.
"I think you lost think." i said calmly and handed it back to her
"Well sometimes it just sli-" her sentence was cut off by a blow to her face. My fist.
Nelly pushed my hand down and took me to the office. The teachers had seen everything, but i was okay with that. This ended it, it ended that name calling, the dirty looks, everything. I was finial free.