The Fairy Grandmother

He was not of my blood, he was of my heart. I watched him die, slowly and painfully. I sat by his side and listened to his stories, I smiled and laughed at the appropriate places even though my heart was breaking. When I was alone I'd sit in a comfortable chair and stare into space. I did not cry, I couldn't let it out. Not yet.
My grandfather was called Poppy by his grandchildren, those being myself, my sister and our friends. We were all there. We took it in turns to be strong and then to cry. It was a cycle of support and grief.
It was a sunny beautiful day and my grandfather bade me open the windows and doors so he could smell the freshly cut grass and the flowers. The family sat outside under the shade of the fig tree. It's soft perfume lent a sweet melancholy to the harshness of reality.
It was my turn to sit with him. He was no longer conscious. But I sat with him nonetheless.
"You must take her back to the fairy kingdom" he whispered to me. I jumped with fright. The strange words startled me even more, was he delirious from all the morphine?
"Who?" I asked.
"Nanny" He said. Nanny? She had been his loving partner of many years but they had not seen each other in months. When he found out he had cancer he refused to see her. And how could we explain to her what was happening? She wouldn't have  understood. Her memory was failing fast, along with her reasoning and other basic abilities.
I excused myself, finding the mention of my grandmother as he neared the end almost too painful to bear. My mother took over the vigil.
As I entered the hall I heard loud crying. I poked my head around the doorway to find my mother crying hysterically over Poppy's body.
I didn't say anything, I just hugged her. I did not cry, strangely enough I just felt relieved. He was no longer in pain. But trust me when I say there were many tears later.
It was months later when I finally summoned the courage to visit my grandmother. Nanny was laying in bed, her mouth hanging open and her hair spread over the pillow in tangles. I steeled myself and took a deep breath. I greeted her cheerily but she did not respond. I sighed.
"I thought I'd come see you one last time. I can't bear to watch you die as well" I said softly to her. Suddenly her eyes opened. Their liquid brown depths had now turned milky and lost. I tried not to cry. At last she focused on me. I smiled and she smiled back at me. It was strange that although she could barely talk and was not supposed to know me she always smiled at me. It was a precious gift.
"Poppy said you need to go back  to the Fairy Kingdom" I blurted. I blushed, I felt stupid. What had made me say such silliness?
"So he's gone... Then you must take me home" she said sadly and with an odd clarity. I was shocked and wanted to press for more information but just then a nurse walked in with the food tray. I quickly greeted her and took the spoon, rushing her off with semi rudeness. But when I turned back to Nanny she was once more asleep.

The visit had gone well, excepting its strangeness of course. I decided to visit my mother, I had intended to tell her about the strange conversation we had but something stopped me. Instead I found myself in the garage where Nanny's life had been stored in boxes. I rummaged through things, her old porcelain dolls, her ornaments with little secrets that had delighted us all as children, then at last I found something that I could not ignore. Her books. I began flipping through one when suddenly it hit me, it was about fairies. I almost laughed insanely. Was I really considering such a fancy? But the next book I picked up was about fairy magic, then fairy etiquette and then all sorts of fairy books. I felt tingly all over. I dropped the books like I had been burnt.
When I went inside my mother asked me if I was alright. I smiled and hid my shaking  hands. I asked if I could borrow Nanny's books. My mother smiled and helped me load them into my car.
I spent hours reading the books. I soaked it all in. There was just one problem. None of them mentioned how to get to the fairy realm. Sighing with exasperation I went outside to breath in the fresh air. I had always liked the scent of nature. A part of me whispered it's because you have fairy blood in your veins. I shook my head but somehow the words felt right.
I thought I might be going insane. But as I considered that thought something caught my eye. It was a perfect circle of mushrooms and flowers, in the middle of my lawn. I could have sworn it hadn't been there earlier. Without thinking I stepped into the centre.
The world turned into rainbows.
When my eyes adjusted to the brilliant colours I gasped and fell to my knees. I was here...there...I was in the Fairy Kingdom...
"Help!" I cried. But no one heard me. I was alone in a vast meadow. So I started walking.
At last I found the city, my eyes must have popped right out of my head. It was beyond the human concept of beauty, I think the only reason I could  behold it and not lose my sanity is because I had fairy blood in me.
Fairies rushed past and did nothing to stop me, though some gave me curious glances.
I didn't know where I was going but it was like I was a piece of metal being drawn to a magnet. I soon found myself in front of the throne. The empty throne. Next to it an older woman who was timelessly beautiful was staring at the empty seat sadly. I coughed politely.
"You!" she said when she looked up. Her eyes were bright with tears but she seemed shocked in a way I could not comprehend.
"I can explain! I didn't mean to come here, I just..." I trailed off when she grabbed my hands and stared into my eyes with great sincerity.
"You have her blood. Tell me, what of June?" She asked me in a breathless whisper that was one octave below full on desperation.
"J-June..." It was my grandmothers name and indeed I had her blood. The world sort of tilted for a moment. Then suddenly everything clicked into place.
"Nanny!" I grabbed her shoulders and almost shook her.
"It's almost too late, we have to get her back here. NOW!" I cried. The woman looked away, so sadly, I thought my heart would break.
"She can never come back" said the woman.
"Who are you?" I asked her when my head cleared a little.
"I am the mother of the Queen, you can call me May. I am June's mother" she said.
"But you're so young" I blurted. She smiled.
"I know".
"Please, June is dying and she has almost forgotten everything. We need to get her back here!" I was crying in earnest now. Tears fell down my cheeks and burned my eyes.
May looked away.
"I don't know if it will do any good. She is afflicted by a very human disease. Mayhap she is too human...".
"Please, we have to try!" I begged her. I hated begging, but I would do it for her. I would do anything to see my Nanny smile, laugh or even talk. It had been so long since I had seen her gentle spirit brought to life. She had taught me so much about the world, about life and about  myself. I could not let her die as some unknown human in a nursing home surrounded by strangers.
"We will try, if for no other reason than love" she whispered.

I blinked and we were back in my garden. My great grandmother was still insanely beautiful but I couldn't have cared less about hiding the fact that she was a fairy. I practically floored it to the nursing home.
When we arrived she was asleep. Her mouth was not hanging open like some skewed cave for once. Instead she bore a slight smile. Before I had time to wonder May screamed. I turned  in time to see her horrified expression and watch her disappear.
I reached out to grab her but she was gone. I had not thought about what a shock it would be to see your daughter as an old hag dying from a debilitating disease. I didn't know what to do. I turned to Nanny to say sorry and realised something. She was dead.
I was so numb that I barely noticed the golden shimmering of her body. It was like a thousand softly glowing golden stars melting away into nothingness. With every miniature star that went out so a part of her disappeared. I don't really know what happened that day but in my  heart I know. She had forsaken fairy land and eternity so that she could die and be with her loved ones. And even so I have seen the beauty of the Fairy Kingdom I am much more enamoured of the beauty of life and how precious it is made by dying.