In Love With The Wrong Guy Chapter 1

         It was back at the end of Summer of 2010, September 5th. I remember it all. I used to live in Neptune with my mom. I went to Neptune High as a senior and hoped to get into Stanford for college. I was quite a witty student. I did all of my requirements, and I made through all the school shit life had offered me. I even had job experience when I was a junior. Everything came fine. But there was one thing missing in me that time. All I did was live my normal routines, yet something was missing. I felt incomplete and lonely. I understood that my divorced mother who was in two jobs hadn’t enough time to be home. I’m pretty comfortable with my friends, too. But still, I didn’t have my light. But I had just found it.

         September 5th was a Sunday. The afternoon sun had gone bright. The tree leaves have gone orange and dry. The wind blew stronger than it did during Summer. I could feel the Autumn getting closer.

         It was eleven o’clock at noon when me and my mom had just finished church. Everybody had gone outside; some were on their way home; mom told me she’d leave for work and just let me go home by myself, which was pretty usual. I was still hanging out, waiting for Sandy –one of my church friends- to finish helping to the church members to close. I knew I should have helped along with her, but I felt lazy. Somehow, just listening to wind brush my hair was comforting. Sandy on the other hand, is on the church choir, and they normally sing twice or three times each mass. I’ve always wanted to join, but I never got the confidence to sing in front of people.

         It took quite some time for Sandy to make it out. I had already been embracing myself because of the chills. When they did come out and leave church, I walked to them as they walked to me, too.

         “Finally, it seems like you’re done.” I said to Sandy as she and her choir and church peers walk down to the road with me.

         “Yeah,” Sandy, along with the leaving members, walked our way probably because we had similar destinations. “It could’ve been quicker if you helped out.”

         “Sorry.” No. I wasn’t really sorry. Suddenly, one of the church leaders –Mrs. Wicket- cared to barge in my conversation with Sandy.

         “Liyah! How are you?” she greeted with delight and held my arm.

         “Still the same! Thank you!” I answered with joy as I blinked my eyes repeatedly. Obviously, my smile was fake because I wouldn’t want Mrs. Wicket to ask more. Yet she kept talking.

         “I’d like you to meet our new church members.” She said with excitement, pulling my wrist towards three people I didn’t know. The younger guy –probably my age- was Alexander Johnson, and the two adults were probably his parents.

         “Liyah, this is Alexander.” She introduced me to the guy. I had no choice but to smile. Mrs. Wicket pointed on the two adults with Alexander. “And these are his parents. They’re new.”

         “Hi. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Liyah.” He reached his hand to shake with me and smiled. He revealed his teeth with his smile. I thought it was annoying, but I couldn’t show any disrespect. So, I pretended that I was happy to meet them.

         “How enchanting to meet you.” I had no choice but shake his hand and smile back. I swept my attention to his parents and thought I should. “Hi! I’m Liyah!”

         I smiled at them and scooted away back to Sandy. “Sandy!”

         “Hey.” She continued walking. Some of the other members were already away from us. “Have you met Alexander and his family?”

         “Yup. And I hate introducing.” I whispered.

         “I know.” She walked with me away from the church members. “You want to go somewhere?”

         “How about we get a cone?”

         “Again? We have done that for like five weeks straight every Sunday.”

         “All right.” We stopped walking. “What do you wanna do?”

         Suddenly, my phone rang from my pocket. It bugged both me and Sandy. I brought my phone out from my pocket and answered. “Hello?”

         “Who’s calling?” Sandy teased. “Is it a guy?”

         “Hey, Liyah.” The caller said. I realized it was Nick Cassidy, my friend and ex-boyfriend, that was calling. Flashbacks returned to me. When Nick was my boyfriend, everything was quite different. We always did things together. He’d always seemed enthusiastic about everything. But I never felt anything for him. I loved him, too, but only as a friend. As soon as I felt that it was not right anymore, I broke up with him. Neither one of us took it well, but he took longer to get over it. “It’s Nick.”

         “What’s up?” I turned around from Sandy, trying to make sure she doesn’t hear. Since Sandy knew that Nick was my ex, she had been teasing me to get back with him especially because Nick still gave his full attention to me.

         “Uh,” He was kinda’ nervous. He didn’t know what to say because he didn’t have enough reason to talk to me. He just wanted to. “Are you busy, Liyah?”

         “Well, I don’t know.” I said as Sandy tried to figure out our conversation.

         “Are you free tonight?”

         “Well, yeah!” I kidded to make it sound a little less serious for Sandy. “This is AMERICAAH! We’re all free!”

         “No, that’s not what I meant.” I could hear him chuckling. “I meant to ask if you were doing anything tonight.”

         “Sorry.” I said. “We’ve got school tomorrow, and I’ve got loads of stuff to do. I can’t go on a date tonight.”

         “Oh!” Sandy probably figured it out. “Is that Nick?”

         “Well, I could come over to your house and help you out.” Nick suggested. Man, he’s just so pushy.

         “No, I won’t be home yet.” I said. “I still have some laundry to pick up, so.”

         “I’ll help you.” He insisted quickly. He just couldn’t take a hint.

         “No, I can’t bother you.”

         “You won’t!” he sounded a bit excited –more or less. “I’d be very happy to!”

         I was having trouble in finding ways to not see him later. I looked at Sandy, and she was giving me that ‘GO WITH HIM!’ look, which made it even harder to think.

         “All right.” I sighed. “Meet me at the Skye Dry Cleaning in four hours.”

         “Okay.” He said with relief. I tried to not sound frustrated or anything. I didn’t want him to feel bad especially because I still felt guilty after breaking up with him for no good reason. “I’ve been looking forward to seeing you after all these months.”

         It’s true. I haven’t seen Nick for months. I wasn’t really that socially active during that Summer. He probably missed me because he always said he does. He was always being sweet to me, but I never felt anything back. It’s like I was meant not to. That’s why I decided that being with him was wrong. But it didn’t matter that time. Sandy and I had things to do before I met with Nick. Besides, I had four hours to think of what to do and what to say before I met with Nick.

         “Okay. I’ll just see you later.” I hung up my phone after that, never waited for what Nick had to say further. I hid my phone in my pocket again and saw Sandy making her giggling tease face to me. “Stop it.”

         “What?” she chuckled.

         “Stop looking at me like that.”

         “Like what?” she continued to look.

         I couldn’t take it and just walked away. She laughed and followed me instead. Sandy and I went shopping at the Neptune Plaza which was just 30 blocks. Sandy was quite a shopaholic. She had gone to each and every shop and bought four dresses. They cost her over a hundred dollars. God, she’s lucky she’s rich. When we finished shopping, we parted ways.

         Just about half an hour late, I got to Skye Dry Cleaning in my promise to see Nick. I didn’t say I was looking forward to see him, but he was. When I got in front of the place, I saw Nick on the side of the road. He was wearing his gray jacket and jeans again. Every time he wore that, he reminded of the time when we had sex on my mom’s couch. My mom wasn’t home that night, as she usually wasn’t. We got a little bored at the house, and he just went at me and stripped. It’s not that I had time to think. When guys do that, my sexual lust triggers and, I just have sex.

         “Hey.” I came to him, and he saw me.

         “Hey.” He greeted back.

         “Let’s go.” I went with inside the laundry shop and he followed.

         I kept quiet as much as I can. Whenever Nick talked, I just nodded. I tried to stay focused on taking all the laundries. Nick helped me out with the laundry. I guess he figured out I didn’t want to talk. We placed the laundries inside my bag for clothes. It didn’t really take us long to finish taking all the laundries. My bag was full and ready to go. I hung it on my shoulder as we were about to leave. It was quite heavy, but I was used to carrying that heavy bag. Nick walked to me when I was all done with the stuff. He offered his hand, and I didn’t know why.

         “I’ll carry that huge thing.” He referred to the bag.

         “It’s not a problem. I got it.” Well, I was a feminist, and I hated asking favors. That is why I took karate, to not be powerless. “It’s not heavy.”

         “You’re losing balance with that thing.” He said and pointed his eyes down my feet.

         “Don’t mock me.”

         “I’m not.” He said in a nice way. “I know you’re a strong girl, stronger than I am. I just want to help out.”

         I gave a long glare at him, and he didn’t hesitate to do the same. I gave him a challenging look, yet he didn’t look any other way. I gave up, and just gave him my bag. I landed the bag on his palm, and he hung it around his back.

         “I got the impression that you’d say you want to take me home.” I said with quite a serious look.

         “Yeah.” He smiled. “If you’d let me.” He basically made me feel sorry for him. I had no choice.

         “Fine.” I smiled back. “Only if it’s a cab.”

         “Okay.” He chuckled and offered me his hand. “Come on.”

         I sighed and held his hand anyways. I hoped that didn’t mean anything, but I guessed he didn’t take it like that. We went out on the side of the street. He still wouldn’t let go of my hand even when I tried pulling it away. I just went with the flow. Nick called out a taxi, and one stopped. It was pretty amazing. There weren’t much available cabs by that time. It didn’t matter anyway.

         While in the cab, Nick tried all he could to get me talking. He shared several stuff, and I tried my best to at least give an appropriate response. He held my hand all the time. I felt guilty enough to let him. I just sat there the whole time until we got to the apartment.

         Nick went out of the cab and tried to run to my side so he could open the door for me, but I went out already.

         “I was supposed to come and open that for you.” He said.

         “I know.” I said. “Thanks.”

         Nick handed the cab driver five dollars, and the cab left. The clouds started to roar with lightning. It seemed like storm was coming. It had already gone dark. Nick had noticed I was bothered by the weather.

         “Are you afraid of lightning?” he asked.

         “How about you come inside?” I invited him with a smile, ignoring his question. He smiled and undoubtedly came with me to the apartment. Mom was not at home. She had night shift and usually returns home at noon the next day. Nick and I got inside the apartment when it started to rain. I thought I’d ask Nick for coffee because it was getting cold. Our apartment was quite warm and comfortable, and since mother seemed to have brought the umbrella with her, I guessed Nick would be staying for the night.

         “Would you want anything? Coffee maybe?” I asked Nick while I took my bag off his shoulder. He sat on the couch and made himself at home since he has been in our apartment for so many times already.

         “No, thanks. I’m fine.” He smiled.

         “Okay.” I proceeded to my room and changed my clothes. I didn’t care if Nick would peek as I changed my clothes. It’s not like he hasn’t seen my body before. When I came out, he was still sitting on the couch. So, he didn’t peek on me –most likely. I walked to him, bringing some clothes of my dad that might fit him. Well, I thought he might need some change of clothes if he was to stay for the night. I came in front of him, and he just smiled. I looked a bit serious.

         “Here.” I handed him the clothes. He accepted him and gave me a glare.

         “What are these for?”

         “You’d better stay for the night.” I said. “My mom has our umbrella with her. You won’t be getting any cab because of the rain. I suggest you stay.”

         “Are you okay with that?”

         “It’s only if you want to.”

         “Thanks.” He smiled.

         “I still owe you for helping me, okay?” I smiled back. “Are you hungry?”

         “You don’t eat dinner.” He chuckled. “Neither do you.”

         “Yeah.” I said. “Would you mind if I go to bed now? I’m a little tired.”

         “That’s no problem.” He stood up. “I’ll take it from here, then. Maybe I’ll take a shower first.”

         “Thanks.” I walked to my room again. “Good night.”

         “Good night.” He said as I closed my door to sleep.

         I went on and slept. Nick took a shower as I was in bed. Nick did as he promised: he took care of the lights and the doors. Later that evening, I was still awake when Nick came to my room. I pretended that I was sleeping as he slowly walked to my bed. I thought he was going to invite me to have sex or something. Instead, he sat on my bed and glared at me. I felt him hold my hand. He probably thought I was sleeping, but my eyes were a bit open. I could still see him though.

         “Sweet dreams.” He whispered. Somehow, that seemed really sweet and thoughtful for me. Maybe I forgot how warm it was when I was with Nick. It felt like there was always someone there for me. But I just couldn’t be with him no matter how caring he was.

         I heard a sniff from him. I thought he was crying, or it was just cold. Either way, I felt him lean over to me. He kissed my forehead and stared. He stood up and left my room moments after. Because of that, I had thoughts that kept me from sleeping. But I was able to sleep anyways.



         The morning didn’t come too long. It was all usual. I slept ad woke up. I couldn’t remember what dream I had, but I was smiling. The morning urge came to me, but all I could see was my room. Another wonderful dream was disrupted. I had no choice but to get back to reality. It was ten o’clock in the morning, and my Monday schedule seemed to be rolling right.

         When I decided to scoot around our apartment, I realized Nick had already left. His first class starts an hour before mine, so he probably left early. Since Neptune High is five miles from home and Nick didn’t bring his car, it was not suspicious that he left early. That didn’t matter anyway.

         I checked the kitchen, and I figured Nick had cooked bacon for breakfast. I wasn’t really hungry, so I took a bath and got dressed for school. I wore my pink shirt and jacket along with my jeans, which was what I usually wore during Mondays. Everything went normal. Mom got home by the time I was about to leave. I carried my bag around my shoulder as I walked past mom.

         “Liyah.” She called to me.

         “Yeah?” I stopped. Though I would be late if I spent too much time at home, I didn’t care. I wanted to talk to my mother as much as I could without bothering her tight schedule.

         “If you’re gonna be late, you can take my car.” She suggested. I smiled and turned around to her. She loved me, and I loved her. She was always there for me though I insist on being fine on my own. I wanted to show her that my love for her could be enough to replace dad’s. She pointed the keys to me, as I walked to her. She thought I was just going to take the keys, but I went and hugged her instead. She got a little surprised –more or less.

         “Thanks, mom.” I said as I let her go and grab the keys. Of course, she was happy. As much as I hated seeing the lines on her face increased, I’m happy she smiled with them.

         “You be careful, darling.” She said as I walked away. I went down the parking lot and took the car off to school.

         Back at school where my mom used to drive me until she became too busy with two jobs, I tried my best to learn how to drive as much as I hated driving. I got to school ten minutes early because I had the advantage of driving a vehicle than commuting.

         On my way to the parking lot, I had the sudden urge to hit every student I saw who I knew backstabbed me and Winnie-my childhood best friend- back at grade school. I remembered how much I hated them and planned to get revenge, yet Winnie always went for the right thing. She was actually my sparring partner in karate for a year. Then, she quit after being too left behind. We were classmates since preschool up to fourth grade. But we haven’t talked for a long time.

         As I made my way to school, I realized I spent my whole five minutes of being early on staring at people that I want to hit with my car, but I made it just in time. I went straight to the lockers to pick up some stuff that I had needed. Laura and Nick came up to me so suddenly. I turned to look at her as I tried to get my stuff, and she was giving me that look she makes whenever she thinks I had sex. So, I tried to ignore her.

         “Nick.” I called to him, and he smiled. “Thanks for last night.”

         “Hey, no problem.” He said with his low and calming voice. “That wasn’t really much of help.”

         I passed by them with a smile, distancing from both of them and waved away. “See you at math!”

         When I got to my first class –which was English class- the bell had already rung, and the teacher had already written his shitty lessons on the board. I snuck in and sat out of the teacher’s sight. I placed the books I brought on top of my desk and opened my notebook as I sat. The other students didn’t really care since they weren’t people that knew me.

         “I’ve read some of your essays. Unfortunately, I’m not done with them because they are tons of work.” The teacher started talking before I even noticed. “So far, the best one I’ve read is Alexander Johnson’s  essay. And I believe he’s with us this period.”

         I didn’t notice until the teacher called to his attention, that it was that guy I met on church the day before. I didn’t care. I just thought that a guy like that wouldn’t do too good for an essay.

         “You’re new here, right?” the teacher called to Alexander from the back seats. I didn’t bother to look.

         “Yes, sir. I just transferred from Michigan.” He said from behind.

         “Okay. Welcome to Neptune.”

         “Thank you, sir.”

         His voice was low and calm like Nick’s. I turned behind and gave him a gaze. He was smiling like yesterday: big and reveals his teeth. His brows pointed down, and his eyes forcefully closed with his cheeks that buffed in his smile. He sat down and blinked his eyes a few times.

         I turned in front again. His smile kinda’ got me impressed. Though there’s nothing good with faking a smile, he managed to lay it off for quite long. The rest of the class wasn’t really interesting, just the usual: teach, then have some activities, and dismiss us early.

         My next class was sex education that was starting about half an hour before we were dismissed from English. I was struggling with the crowd on the stairs, but when I got up, there was no one on the fourth floor. It was too early for my next class, and I was really bored. I really should have taken the same courses as Laura. In the moments of my loneliness, I simply thought of walking up to the fourth floor just to see the rooms I thought 11th grade might have taken place. It was really quiet, and I never anticipated what happened: I saw Alexander. He was taking some stuff from his locker. I recalled that he was a bit interesting, so I stopped walking out of boredom. He didn’t see me because I was a bit far, and he was too busy.

         Alexander was heading to another room when I felt someone pat me on the shoulder. It was Winnie. “So, you’re coming to my birthday party this Saturday night, right? You didn’t forget, did you?” she asked.

         “Of course, I didn’t!” That’s obviously a lie. I have developed an ability to lie on the spot without showing any guilty emotions. I was that gold!

         “Great!” she exclaimed, doing some mini-claps. She’s been doing the mini-clap since the first time we met. She kinda’ does it whenever something surprises or makes her happy. “Come to my house in four. You can bring anyone you want!”

         “Can I bring Laura?” I asked with complete tone of enthusiasm.

         “Sure! She’s your girlfriend, right?” she sounded innocent.

         The truth is Winnie thinks I’m a lesbian for taking karate when I was six and beating guys up. I hated all the guys, and I loved all my girl peers. Basically, I would seem like a lesbian. I never really liked a guy until just now. Alexander was actually the first guy who I thought was cute. Even Nick didn’t seem too great to me. I was just curious what sex feels like.

         “I’m not a lesbian.” I said. Suddenly, it came to me that Winnie could have stopped talking to me because she thought I was a lesbian.

         “Okay?” There was an atmosphere of awkwardness that came. I planned on gazing at her until she couldn’t take it, and I did. She got a bit irritated when I did.

         “Stop it.” She scoffed. “You’re acting all lesbian.”

         “I told you I’m not a lesbian.”

         “All right!” she swung her body a bit and did her mini-claps thing again. “I’ll just see you later!”

         “Sure.” I said and hummed. It was getting really awkward, so she walked away. Not that I cared, but I laid my sight on her as she walked away. I only cared when I noticed she was chasing Alexander while he was on his way to his room. I got confused when Winnie caught Alexander’s attention by yelling. Alexander stopped, and they had a conversation. I couldn’t hear what they were saying from afar, but it had left me with one question: how do they know each other?

         I stayed put, trying to read their lips as they talked. It seemed like Winnie was trying to get Alexander join her party. Winnie did her mini-claps again, so I assumed he accepted. Soon after that, Winnie walked back to my direction, and Alexander went back to his class.

         Winnie passed by me like she didn’t care that I seemed to have overheard their conversation, though I didn’t. I thought asking her would make me look less guilty.

         “Who was that?” I asked and followed Winnie. She stopped and turned back to me.

         “He’s Sander.” She said. I figured they came out with the name Sander from the ‘Xander’ part of his name which seemed a bit cooler than his real name. Either way, I understood it. “He’s new, but I got to be close friends with him after two days we met which really was two days ago.”

         I kinda’ got astonished. He became quite close with Winnie in just two days. I was speechless. Winnie smiled and went back to wherever she was walking to. She seemed to be pretty lightened up after talking to Alexander. I had the impression that she liked him. I didn’t really see any reason for her not to. I mean he’s a nice guy and all. Then, I suddenly had the idea to search him on Facebook. So, I thought I’d use the computers on the library. I did immediately.

         I browsed Alexander Johnson and found the exact guy. I opened his profile and saw a lot if his info’s. He already changed his City to Neptune. I figured he was a pretty active user. He was born on April 23rd, 1991. So, he’s 18. Well, most of us were. I browsed some of his photos. I was pretty sure I had the urge to see a nude photo of him, but of course, no normal person would post his/her nudes on Facebook.

         His pictures were mostly of him and his family. I sorta’ felt jealous. I mean it’s not like my family was complete. He had his mom and dad when I never saw my dad again after he left us. I tore all of his pictures at home and deleted my pictures with dad on Facebook. It seemed like from there, me and Alexander were two different people. I can see why he can smile like that. I couldn’t tell if I was jealous or inspired, but something made my stomach crumble. I guess Alexander got a little too much in my head. But that didn’t stop me from sending him a friend request.



         When I was done with my cyber stalking, I grabbed some stuff from my locker downstairs. As I was fixing my stuff, some students have barged out from their classrooms. It became really crowded and noisy again. I’m not saying that was a good or bad thing, maybe more or less. I was just about to close my locker because I’ve brought out the notebooks I needed when my locker neighbor –Harvey Tan- started singing his insult song to me. I never really understood the lyrics he kept singing, but I hear my name and the word ‘gay’ come in together. Somehow, that used to piss me off.

         He continued singing while he meddled with his locker. I closed mine –not slammed as I used to because I was kind of in a good mood- and laid my shoulder on it.

         “You know, I’m not surprised you’re still alive.” I joked. He stopped singing and smiled at me, the smiles that were meant to insult me. I’m sure I was way too sick of seeing that every day.

         “And why is that?” he chuckled.

         “Cause God really does protect the fools and the children.” I smiled the way he did.

         “Ouch.” His smiled went down, but I knew he was kidding. “You hurt me.”

         “There you go, Mr. Sensitive.” I laughed. He didn’t say another thing after. He just looked at me like I was weird or something ‘til I finished my laugh. I soon faced him.

         “What’s with you today? I mean, you’d normally want to punch me now, but you’re fooling around with me. What is this, April fools day? Liyah Loveworth is not taking me seriously today. Why is that she’s happy?” he sounded like he was doing a monologue which was a little funny. “Is she in love? Or are you in love with me?”

         “You know I don’t fall in love.” I knew he was kidding, so I didn’t really care.

         “But yet again-” Harvey was about to say something that I was sure was something to insult or intimidate me, but his best friends –Samuel Samson and Jason Cross- came across in our conversation. Oh God, those three were always together. They were like the super bullies that just insults but never fights. I mean, they run when they get someone too angry and never fight back. Basically, they’re cowards, or they’re just some nice guys with nothing to do. They never failed to annoy me just until that day, and I didn’t know why.

         “Dude, Sander just invited us to a party!” Samuel said, and he clearly hooked Harvey’s attention.”

         “Sander’s party?” Harvey asked.

         “No, it’s Winnie’s. Winnie told Sander that he can bring anyone he likes, and Sander asked us!”

         “Are you sure Winnie Vortex wants us there after what we did?” Harvey asked. They were ignoring me which was pretty unusual. They sounded a little serious. I wondered what was Harvey talking about.

         “What do you mean? What did you do to Winnie?” I confronted them.

         “None of your business, buff girl!” Jason rejected. I hated it whenever they called me buff girl. I certainly do not look buff and lesbian in any way. I guess it was because of my reputation in karate. Not much girls in Neptune take karate and do it until she reaches her black belt. Three years ago, a guy in Neptune High insulted me and my mother. I ended up beating him to a pulp even when he fought back. I was called to the principal’s office. Of course, mom was, too. Mom cried that night. She didn’t want me to be in any trouble since I’m the only left in her family. I promised her I was always going to be there, that I was not going to get into any more fights. I stopped taking karate after that. Everyone in school became quite scared of me. It wasn’t a good thing. They became really distant. I felt lonelier than I was before that fight. But everyone forgot when time passed, and I had new friends.

         My hands clenched after what Jason said. I wanted to punch him, but I thought of my mom. I never wanted to hear her cry again. So, I just left and continued to my class. I left them talk whatever they wanted to.

         Sex Education was a relieving course for my anxiety and worries. I somehow found it hilarious. We actually used to see our teacher demonstrate how to use condoms, guys’ and girls’ crotch photos, and porno videos, and I’ve always wanted to have an activity in class that would rid of my virginity, but of course, that was impossible. Class took place on the third floor. I got there ten minutes early. I waited on my chair for people to arrive. About five minutes later, I heard someone come in the room. I never really saw who it was since I was facing the other way. But I recognized his voice when he talked.

         “You’re Leah, right?” It was Alexander. I haven’t turned around, but I knew. Chills ran down my spine. Suddenly, I didn’t know what to do. I stood up in shock and faced him. He seemed pretty startled with my reaction.

         “Are you okay?” I saw his smile again, that smile that meant the happiness I’ve been trying to find for half of my life.

         “Yeah!” I smiled back. I noticed he mispronounced my name since my name is a little weird and unusual. “ It’s actually Liyah, like L-I-Y-A-H. You’re Alexander, right!”

         “You can call me Sander, by the way.” He continued. “I never got the chance to tell you at church.”

         “Okay.” My stomach went warm. Seeing him glare at me was unbearable. I had this weird feeling –the feeling of just wanting to hug him. I wanted to hug and kiss him, and he would just smile at me.

         “So, is your next class here?” he asked, pointing his finger down.

         “Yeah. It’s SexEd.”

         “Yeah.” He chuckled in his unique way. “Yeah, talk about sex.”

         “Oh.” I suddenly stopped when he said ‘sex’. My sexual lust triggered. I somehow wanted to make out with him.

         “I’m sorry. Are you sensitive to that stuff?” he sounded concerned but still smiling.

         “Oh, no!” I laughed. I wondered where that jolly version of me came from. It’s like his aura inspired me to be like him. I didn’t know what feeling that was crumbling me apart, but I somehow liked it. “I’m fine with it. I talk like that sometimes.”

         It suddenly occurred to me that Alexander might not like girls that talk like I did, so I thought I’d change his mind. “I mean, I talk like that when I have to.”

         “Okay.” He chuckled again. “That’s kinda’ interesting.”

         I felt excited. Alexander said I was interesting. I felt like I had the chance for him to like me! I didn’t know what to say. I was driven by unconsciousness. “I’m interesting?”

         “Yeah, a little.” He was chuckling and seemed a little shy. It was getting awkward. But he just smiled at me, and I felt dazzled. I didn’t know what to do. My hands were shaking. I couldn’t help but stare away because his glare was piercing through me. Suddenly, Winnie came in the room and broke out conversation.

         “Oh!” she greeted with delight. “I see you’ve met Sander.”

         “Yeah.” I said.

         “Actually, I’ve met her yesterday.” He paid his attention to Winnie instead. I didn’t know if I was relieved that the awkward atmosphere had left or if I was upset because his attention flew to Winnie.

         “Yeah, we met in church.” I said before Winnie could have reacted. Somehow, I wanted to be proud to have met him. “He goes to the same church as me.”

         “Oh.” She reacted.

         Then, another wave of silence came. It was really awkward again. Winnie gave me a neutral gaze. Alexander was smiling as he turned his head from Winnie to me.

         “So, why are you early?” I asked Winnie out of the blue.

         “Well, I was supposed to meet Alexander here.” She faced Alexander, and he smiled back to her. I got jealous, and I didn’t know why I felt like that for someone I barely knew.

         “What was it you wanted to meet me for?” he asked. I figured Winnie really like the guy, and I was impressed to how she can just call him out here alone.

         “Can I hire you?” she said. I had no idea what kind of job she was offering.

         “Hire me?” he chuckled. “Not to be high or anything, but I don’t quite need a job right now.”

         “No. I meant I just need your help.” Winnie laughed. I’ve never seen her smile like that. It was like the way I laughed when I talked to Alexander. “I just want to repay you if you do.”

         “All right. What do you need?” obviously, he never stopped smiling. I was just there, staring at them as they talked and got along. My blood was boiling. That was actually one of the rare times that I got jealous.

         “I heard you’re really good with English.” Winnie started giggling. I was pretty sure Alexander noticed that. “I just need some help with my work.”

         “I’d do it for free!” he exclaimed in delight. That made me feel uncomfortable.

         “Really?” she sounded excited. She hopped and did her mini-claps again. I guess she wanted to spend some time with him. “You’d do that.”

         “It’s no problem.” He chuckled. It came to me that he didn’t care about money. He only cared to help Winnie. My levels of jealousy were really bursting.

         “Oh my God! Thanks!” she exclaimed and held her hands together. My thighs were shaking. I was feeling weak. How did she know he was good in English when it was just his first day that time? She must’ve really liked him. She gave me a quick look and turned back at Alexander. She saw me giving a good stare at them.

         “Can we talk about this outside?” she asked him and pulled his arm. She dragged him outside the room as he laughed about it. I was just giving them my glare until they made it out. For the first time in my life, I felt weak. I felt like I was falling down. I didn’t know what to think. I didn’t know what to do. I felt like I wanted to cry, cry for Winnie. I didn’t want to interrupt them. I had my pride stopping me. It got me well.