Dino Bite

         I can't believe I'm sitting here waiting to get a tetanus shot because a god damn dinosaur had to come up and bite me out of nowhere. Not just any dinosaur either, it had been a T-Rex, the most feared of all. That's what I had told my mom and she'd about blown my ear off yelling, calling me an idiot, wanting to know the real reason I was getting a tetanus shot that day. Of course I hadn't been bitten by a dinosaur, its 2014 and dinosaurs have been extinct for going on a couple hundred million years now. But I wasn't exactly lying when I had told her it had been a vicious T-Rex that had latched onto my arm, refusing to let go, because it had been. It just wasn't exactly a real dinosaur either. More along the lines of a 5 year old boy with, in my opinion, a far too active imagination.

         When one mentions a dinosaur attack in modern times, I'm sure everyone's first thought is that of Jurassic Park. And if that's what you thought of when I told you first of my misfortune, you'd be half right. I was at an amusement park, but not one from the Jurassic Era. Or the Triassic or Cretaceous Eras either. I was at Six Flags, only 20 minutes outside of St Louis, and decidedly far away from any dinosaurs. I'd gone there with a couple friends, Matt and Eric, to celebrate the ending of summer. Well celebrate isn't exactly the right word, we weren't anxious for school to start. We just wanted to do something climactic at the end, to cap off a summer spent lying idly around the house or pool. I had wanted summer to go out on a bang, but sitting here in the doctor's office seemed like far too big of a bang for me.

         The day had started off wonderfully. Matt and Eric had picked me up at my house bright and early, where my mom had donuts waiting to hand out for the drive. We talked and napped and sang out loud to Kesha the whole 3 hour drive, having as much fun in the car as we would at the park. I'd been confined to the back seat of Eric's small old Camry the whole way down there, which I felt was decidedly unfair, seeing as I was the tallest by at least 4 inches. So my legs ached and hardly held my weight when I finally was able to step out into the already sizzling air. I think my shoes actually melted into the asphalt of the parking lot and it was only 10 a.m., just in time to get our tickets and get in the horde of people waiting for the gates to open in half an hour. Except today there hadn't been much of a horde whatsoever. And when the overweight security guard, with the cowboy hat that could only possibly fit his head, undid the chain, the stampede of people was anything but. My friends and I were ecstatic about this. Maybe the heat had kept most of the families away, all the rides were ours! We are three teenage boys, we can handle a little sunstroke in the name of the greater good. We rushed off to the first ride, The Boss, a huge wooden rollercoaster all the way in the back of the park. We got to the gate and just kept on going, no line to stop us at all. We rode it three times in a row without getting off, and that's how the day had gone up until we stopped for lunch. The rides and heat had finally taken their toll and we had stopped to find a restaurant with some overpriced food and much needed air conditioning. We found both at a pizza place that sat at one end of a square. Looking out the window we saw the entrance to a ride, the Scooby Doo ride, and that was my doom, little did I know it yet. Matt was the one to suggest it. We had all ridden the ride when we were younger, and it was actually pretty fun. All 3 of us could cram in a little boat and shoot lasers at targets strewn all through the course. It was air conditioned, dark, and let us get a little competitive. It sounded perfect.

         Pizza finished, and our 4th refills come and gone, we tossed our garbage and headed across to the square to get in line. It seemed like we weren't the only people to see the perks to this ride on a scorcher of a day like today, and the line was one of the longest we'd dealt with all day. Still it wasn't bad. The sign said 20 minutes tops, and all the line that extended out of the scenery and props was cooled with ample shade. I was in the back out of the three of us, and remained entirely at the back of the line for almost 5 minutes, before anyone else strolled up. When finally did come in behind me, I hardly gave them a second glance. It was just a young kid, no older than 5 or 6, and his mom, looking redfaced and a little too tired for her own good. A combo like them was a dime a dozen walking around the park that day, even more so waiting in that particular line. I'd glanced them over, and had turned back to my friends, ready to brag preemptively, when I felt a tug at my shirt. It was the little kid, yanking at my shirt. I didn't mind kids, I had a cousin about this boy's age who I loved getting to hang out with, so I gave this boy a smile and stepped back out of his grasp. I shouldn't have smiled, that just unlocked the door. "I'm Alex!" rang out from this kid's mouth, loud enough for half the people in front of us to be stirred out of their reverie and look back. "Hi Alex, having fun?" Why was I doing this? I had no obligation to talk to this kid. All little Alex did was nod fervently, before dashing around his mom, circling her 3 times before latching onto a railing where he proceeded to rock back and forth. I gave him one more look, catching his mom's eye, who managed a quick smile, before I turned once more to face my friends, raising my eyebrows as I did so. They just chuckled and faced the front of the line, all of us at that point were fantasizing about the patch of shade that lay just 2 overweight families ahead of us. I was excited for the ride, it brought back good memories. Plus I wanted bragging rights. I was thinking about my strategy and wish seat I should claim, when I felt it. Something was clamped down on my arm. Hard. Something wet and pointy was attached to me, biting me. I whipped around horrified to see darling little Alex with his mouth still full of my arm. I didn't know what to do. How could you? I looked at his mom who just smiled again. Seriously?! Woman, please get your child away from me. I pulled back and looked down at Alex, not knowing what to expect, but surely not expecting what he said next. "I'm a T-Rex!" he said, beaming up at me with what I swear were bloody fangs. I could only stare at my arm, where you could clearly see the broken skin from this kids well developed chompers. His mom might not know how to watch him, but she sure as hell gave him enough milk. My last interaction with the mom confirmed my thoughts that she needed a parenting class or two. It's also the reason I rushed to the doctor's in a panic. She looked at me, that damned smile still on her face, and said, "Isn't he cute? Hell, he's been biting just about everything ever since the dog bit him. Little carnivore is what he is." I had jumped in front of my friends after that, and had lost horribly at the ride. My mind was other places, primarily how I could amputate my arm with the plastic knives they handed out at the pizza place we'd eaten at. I would even by another ridiculously priced slice if that's what it took to get one of those knives. By the end of the day I swear my arm was throbbing, my eyes were blurry, and my mouth was just a tad foamy. I know it's just my imagination. I know I've just read Old Yeller and Cujo one too many times. But here I am at the doctor's, sitting and waiting and getting a shot anyway. Because I'll be damned if I'm going out to anything less than a real dinosaur bite.