The Crashing Wave of Emotion

9.17.2013

Human Emotion in the Context of the Changing of the Tide

I believe, like most people, that emotion is a natural part of the human body. It is integrated into us the moment we come out of our mother's womb screaming. The first emotion we all experience is pain. Whether it is something frightening, foreign, or maybe something much more complex than that, we are hardwired to feel. Emotion can be such a powerful weapon and catalyst for the human mind. It can drive you to do amazing feats, seemingly flying past life's little obstacles. It can also be the source of great weakness, often making you sink to your knees and silently cry for help. The spectrum of emotion can go both ways. The difference between the two ends are more startling then anything in this natural world.

         I recently went through a series of traumatic events causing me to falter and question myself to the harshest degree. I began to doubt even the littlest things, and being to shrink until I was a shell of my former self. There were always little sparks here and there to keep me from ending it all, but for some reason those little flecks of colorful fire did little to shake me from my seemingly never-ending sleep. I went through a year or two drifting aimlessly from one place to the next. Inside, there was a nasty battle between my frustrated mind and my torn heart. As clichas it sounds; the internal battle that was raging inside me was never seen but was the most painful thing I had to live with. Through these years I tried new things, met new people, somehow trying to break out of the rustic chains that were holding me down. Keeping me from achieving what I wanted. Stopping me from changing.

         There is a difference between people telling you to do something and you doing it of your own accord. There is a much more chemical reaction that occurs when you decide your fate, rather than listening mindlessly to a voice telling you where to turn and when to stop. For me, something change; something ended up clicking destroying all the negative things stopping me from living. People always ask me what that change was, but I always tell them that I couldn't tell them since I didn't even know. I truthfully didn't know how I suddenly shifted from a lazy, fearful young adult to a productive member of society. It might have been that I finally found the courage to shake myself from the comfortable cycle of emptiness. It might have been my consciousness shouting at me finally breaking through my shield of doubt.  But, alas I shall never fully know. This brings me to another important point of emotion; it is not a cognitive thing.

         What I mean by this is that unlike thoughts and physical activity; emotion has no reason with it. There have been countless studies trying to decipher the pattern or proclivity of emotion, seeing where the mind started and the body took over. For instance, what causes us to cry? Is the emotion of sadness so powerful to in fact to produce a physical reaction? How does anger increase our energy to punch through a wall or throw another person a great distance? To me, emotion can be stronger than physical activity and mental prowess. The change between anger and happiness is a different and as startling as a wooly mammoth appearing in modern day New York City. For me emotion was the turning point in my young life. It helped me overcome stupidity and technical life hardships. The crashing tide of emotion will always come back to the sea, the question is; will you be with the tide or will you be stuck on the beach?