IN THE BEGINNING

          Today at lunch I sat with a man who got beat up by a transsexual. He actually was my cellmate for a short time and isn’t a bad guy. No one is really sure how the fight began, only that he lost…badly. Poor guy will never let it down. He spent about 3 months in the SHU (aka The Hole) before coming back onto the compound just before Xmas. Since then he’s been very quiet and has kept to himself. Wonder why?

            I’ll never really get used to living in a place where things like that are really normal. Before coming here the idea of men getting sex changes was something you saw on TV, thought, “Well that’s just weird,” and then immediately forgot about it. Now I live in close proximity to two of them. Who would have thought having D cups didn’t disqualify you from being placed in an all male facility! The things you learn here are absolutely amazing.

            After lunch I trekked through the cold back to the dorm to enjoy some reading. We don’t live in cages by the way; in fact we don’t even have doors on our “cells.” My home is basically an office cubicle, 8x10 foot square made of cinderblock and only about 5 feet high then open to the ceiling about 8 feet above that. It’s really just a barracks with a tad bit more privacy. I share mine with a great guy who, like me, is totally normal and baffled at the insanity of our world. We’ve got a nice big window that looks out onto a pretty scenic pine grove, so it’s really quite pleasant all things considered.

            My cellie works all afternoon so I have the room to myself. I’m reading Beautiful Creatures right now. Great, great book. I highly recommend it to anyone who likes intelligent, supernatural stories. Yeah, it’s been compared to Twilight but it’s much, much better written and is way more mysterious and interesting.

            I’m trying to conserve my energy this afternoon. Earlier this week I began a treadmill class and it’s kicking my ass. Our instructor is a very cool Spanish guy who is here for killing a politician in a bar fight like 25 years ago. Openly gay and really a great teacher; but he is a task master – one hour of interval training on inclined unpowered treadmills. If this class doesn’t help me get into shape nothing will!! (In case you’re wondering I’m 6 feet tall and 310 pounds – built like a linebacker gone slightly to seed).

            You’d be shocked how difficult it is to lose weight in prison. Our meals are filled with carbs and protein but not much else. We have a commissary where we can buy food but most of it is junk food and soda. There are a few healthy things buy of course they are monde expensive. The biggest issue is that the mess hall feeds us tiny portions (think a drumstick the size of a large Buffalo Wing) and within an hour you’re starving, so of course you have to snack – on crap. No fresh veggies, no fruit, no bread. In fact if you’re caught with that stuff in the dorm you can get into trouble! So we’re left with chips, cupcakes, cookies and Ramen noodles.

            Eww… God I miss real food. And pie!!