FAT BRAIN GUY (part 2)

                                            FAT-BRAIN GUY

                                                (Part Two)



         So time passes and he finds new people to annoy, until about two months ago. It was a busy Sunday afternoon and I turned around from the magazine rack and he’s standing behind me smiling.

         “I’ve been looking for you,” he says.

         “Oh, what for?”

         “I need you to confirm something for me.”

         “What’s that?”

“I remember reading somewhere that the human brain is 95% fat, but no one

believes me.”

         “Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s not right.” I said.

         “No, it is. That’s why you aren’t supposed to eat them.”

         I stare at him not really sure I just heard that correctly.

         “They’ll give you high cholesterol.” He says matter-of-factly.

         “And it’s illegal and wrong.” I say.

         “Oh, I know. But anyway can you look it up for me?”

So I get out my anatomy book knowing full well it is going to show that the brain is a  dense cluster of nervous tissue. I show it to him.

         “That’s not right.” He tells me.

         “So the anatomy book is wrong?”

         “What year was it published? Maybe it’s got old information.

         “2009”

         “Oh, well look in something else.” He says.

         “Like what?” I ask.

         He looks through the catalog and finds a nutrition guide for healthy eating. “In here.”

         “Pretty sure they didn’t include statistics for cannibals in there.” I said dryly.

         “I know, but look up pig brains, they have to be close, right?”

I’m astonished. He actually was right; there is a definite genetic and structural similarity between pigs and people. So he’s not a complete idiot. I give him the book and he looks it up. After doing a little math he comes up with 65%. He’s still not satisfied.

“I have to go, he tells me. “Keep looking.”

“No, I’m too busy.” I tell him, but he just says thank you and leaves.

For the next month he goes around asking everyone he meets if they know what percentage of the human brain is made of fat. Hence the moniker fat-brain guy. He still stops by to ask me how my research is going and every time I tell him I’m not looking. He doesn’t seem to get it.