A transformation poem I wrote a long time ago. Enjoy. |
The TG Witch Deep in the town Of Coopersville Lived a wicked warlock Who was truly e-vil. He cast spells on men And women too Sometimes a dog or cat Or inside a chicken coop Spells to make people's hair grow At a frightening rate To turn people into cows And make everyone irate He'd cause mischief and mayhem And then he would laugh As he used his magic To cause a bloodbath And the people put up with this For forty years Living in silence Running from the source of their fears Until one man, named Bill, Said "Enough, I'm through "This man has turned us into cowards "There must be something we can do" Then Jim shouted "You know what I've heard "From my cousin Maurice "Who lives out in Kitchabird? "There's this witch wandering round "Who, for a price "Casts spells on nasty people" "Like giving them head lice?" "Or turning them into mice?" "Or making them marry my wife?" And when the crowd had settled, And the matter decided A note was sent out And Jim was set to write it And he wrote, "To the dear witch of Kitchabird, "We have need of your services "For we are plagued by a warlock "Who occasionally murders us" "He is nasty and awful "And powerful too "So we were hoping "There might be something you could do." "We hear you are kind "And we'd be willing to pay "If you'd pop in "And fight this man some day." And the note was signed and sent To the witch in Kitchabird Where she received it And read every word. Now this witch was like no other That you might have seen. Though she had messy black hair, And skin a sickly green. Her cloak and hat were bright pink Instead of black And though she knew many spells Deadly ones she did lack. Though she dabbled in alchemy And illusion was her flirtation Most of her spells Dealt with transformation. But she was moved by this story And the people's horrid plight And this note Moved her to fight. So she packed quickly And sailed off on her broom Which she sailed past the stars And beyond the moon To poor Coopersville Where she did land Spell book ready And wand in hand She quickly found the warlock Whose name happened to be Boris And when he turned to face her He cried, "What is this?" "A poor little witch "Seems to have lost her way "Shoo, Shoo, Scat "I won't kill you today "Especially not if your willing to play." Horribly offended, The witch cast her first spell "Obree cratellum "Atumbell!" And before their eyes, The warlock started to change His hair grew long His face became feminely strange. His chest grew out His waist shrank His hips grew wide And he no longer stank. And where once stood a warlock Who had been most foreboding Now stood a young woman As pretty as the morning But this was not the only humiliation For poor Boris When he tried to cast a spell His magic was no more... ess. And off Boris was taken To live forever In a brothel So everyone else's life would be better. "And now", said the witch "I'll take my recompense "And declare Coopersville "My permanent residence." And the town was happy Perfectly this had gone They had gained a magical guardian And Boris had lost his schlong. But the victory was not long lasting For the people of the town For it appeared to the witch That crime was all around. Jaywalkers and litters And those who made any minor infraction Soon found themselves facing A manhood extraction But it wasn't just men, Who face the witch Women were turned into men, animals Some even into a bitch (female dog) Boys to girls And women to men Over and over Again and again So if you go wandering Through Coopersville town Be careful what you do As you wander around For any tiny mistake Any unanswerable twitch Could have you facing the wrath Of the TG witch! |