A part of time now.

9th October, 2013.



It's over.



I've yet to talk in such detail to anyone about this.

1 year and 7 months almost exactly. Only 1 day off. Of all things it was the muted agony that she showed that killed me, almost over too fast. I laughed feverishly after leaving her on that road, seems callous, yes but it wasn't laughter of joy, it was a strange mix of disbelief and actualisation; a rare occurrence for me. University has been a literal boon. New friends, new experiences of life and yet this crystalline moment of apathy on one end and heart-rendering pain on the other flows past me. It's in it's self unbelievable. But don't get me wrong, I wasn't eager to do this, I took no pleasure. The sheer metaphoric potential of the thing was enough to make me puke my literary guts out. She faced the river, she saw beauty and peace. Nothing wrong. I faced a wasteland, litter strewn and saturated with neglect and resentment. Everything wrong. And yet this ground is so easily cleaned up and built upon. That killed me.

Guess I just didn't want to see that potential.



That wasteland was called Freeman's Common.



Irony I suppose.