Animal Biology

“I hate Biology,” Parker muttered into his book. He didn’t dare speak too loudly, for fear his father would hear him and invent some new chore to keep him from his four-wheeler. He really longed to be riding through the woods, searching for animal trails.

The sophomore high school student was sitting at his dining room table in Eagle Lake, Maine, with his Biology book open and a blank notebook page beside it. It was September and he had been stuck in school all day and now had homework to do before his parents would let him go anywhere. He still missed his summer days, riding trails, friends, or just being alone in the forest. He really didn’t see how cell structures, evolution, or environments would help him in any way. Tracking come hunting season – that would be useful!

The dining room was not helping either. The room was glowing with Indian summer sunshine. Outside the bay windows, he could see the trees, just a few yellow ones, no real fall colors yet. He knew it had to be warmer outside than it was in the freezing house. With the cost of heating oil, his parents wouldn’t turn the heat on until the first frost. With his dad’s asthma, they didn’t want smoke from wood or pellet stoves, either. So, Parker got up and poured himself some hot coffee to warm his fingers.

As he sipped the warm beverage, Parker wondered what it would be like to be outside. Staring out the window longingly, he noticed a deer grazing at the tree line. He’d settle for eating grass right now just to be outside. If he were a deer, he would never need to know biology. The doe, for she had no rack, tried to reach some leaves on the tree beside her, but her neck wasn’t long enough. Parker could see the need for some evolution here. He wondered if taller deer, or ones with longer necks, would survive longer. If the deer were a giraffe, she could reach, no problem.

The next thing Parker saw was the tree right in front of his nose. Huh? He looked down and saw the doe’s white tail disappearing into the woods. Looking farther down, he saw hooves and golden and black marked legs. What had happened?
He turned his head and saw his house across the green lawn. When he moved to head that way, he almost fell as four long legs weren’t moving the same way. Some kind of instinct must have kicked in, because his back (?!) legs stepped sideways and turned him around. Taking a couple of steps, he noticed he covered ground in a hurry with the long legs. Breaking into a trot, he felt exhilaration as the lawn sped by in a blur.

Coming to the deck steps, he slowed to see if he could climb them. It took some coordination, but he could. When he got to the door into the dining room, he saw a large animal reflected in the window. It really was – a giraffe! How was he a giraffe?
What would he do? He thought about going in to find his dad, but realized he couldn’t open the door. Should he go to his dad’s room and find some way to knock on the window? No, might give the old man an attack. How about going to town and looking for Hayden, his brainiac friend? Could he communicate with him? Trying to speak Hayden’s name, he only heard a braying noise – skip that idea. Let’s just go have fun in the woods, like I wanted to anyway – and he ran toward where the doe had disappeared into the trees.

Parker never found the doe, but he did find some pros and cons to being a giraffe in a forest made for smaller animals. He wasn’t as heavy as a moose, so his legs got caught more in the undergrowth.  He had to bob and weave around the lower branches. When his belly started rumbling, though, he could reach almost any of the vegetation he fancied.  He wasn’t sure what temperature giraffes really liked, but when the sun set, he found himself quite chilled. Finding a crevice in a rock face big enough to fold his body into, he fell asleep.

The second day as a giraffe was more fun. He tried some different tree types and decided that he liked birches best. He went back to the house and checked out the dining room. His books were right where he left them. He wondered for a moment what his parents thought had happened to him. As he tried to imagine what they would do first, he heard the front door open. Fearing discovery, he turned tail and dashed for his hideout. The rest of the day passed in a blur of exploration and eating. He did run across a few small forest creatures, but they all ran as soon as they scented him.

As day followed day, Parker stopped thinking much about his parents or friends. He was spending most of his time finding enough food to eat. When the days started cooling down, he’d stuck to more sheltered areas. One afternoon he noticed some birches with leaves starting to yellow. His favorite food would be gone in less than a month! He tried some pine and fir, but they didn’t taste as good. Hopefully, he could at least dig for grass or dead leaves. He also had to find a warmer sleeping spot. Deeper in the forest, he found a cave that was deeper than the rock crevice. He prayed it wasn’t a bear’s den.

Shots started barking in the trees several sunrises later. Parker faced a new challenge. He could no longer just forage freely. Not only was he quickly losing his favorite food, but now he wouldn’t be able to roam to find stands of trees still bearing leaves. He managed to find some after dark before he got too cold, but he wasn’t as well fed. Indeed, some nights he had trouble sleeping because of his rumbling belly.

The snowflakes drifting from the sky three mornings later sent fear through Parker’s empty stomach. He had to go eat now, even if he got shot by hunters. What would he do when there was too much snow? Maybe Biology wasn’t so bad after all.  That was the first time in weeks he’d even thought of his “old life.” Now, he longed for his parents, his bed, even school lunch!
While searching for feed and avoiding hunting areas, the giraffe-boy noticed a fox a few hundred feet away. It was eating something on the ground. Parker stood still, staring longingly, knowing a giraffe couldn’t eat what foxes did, but just to eat – to not feel hungry. Crash!

The next thing he knew, Parker smelled blood. Huh? He looked up and saw the fox’s black tail disappearing into the woods. Looking down, he realized the ground seemed much closer. Then, he noticed the small red paws. Had he become a fox?
Heading toward where the fox had been, Parker realized that there weren’t the branches in the way anymore. Now he was moving through snow, grass, and brush. Following his nose, he found a stripped deer carcass. Some hunters! He looked around nervously, before realizing that he wasn’t as likely to be seen anymore. He still had to be careful, but he was starving! Just a few bites wouldn’t take long. They were so good. Odd how different it was chewing meat instead of leaves and grasses.  A few more bites.

BANG! That gunshot sounded nearby. He turned tail and ran for his hideout. It smelled, though.  Still, it was safer, and now that he wasn’t quite as hungry, he curled up and slept.

Parker woke in false dawn, wondering anew how this happened. It seemed like when he wanted something badly enough, then the changes occurred. What he wanted didn’t always turn out to be as good as he had thought, though. He’d have to be careful about what he longed after next. Wait a minute! He could go back to his own life! School, even crazy parents, wasn’t as bad as this. At least at home he wouldn’t need to worry about hunters or finding food.

The little fox headed cautiously for Parker’s house. He hadn’t been there as a fox yet. Would his parents be up? Approaching the lawn, he noticed the lawn was brown now. How long had it been? He couldn’t even remember. As he padded across the lawn, he kept looking to be sure no one was around.

Parker wondered as he walked how this change would end up for him. Could he sneak into his bedroom and pretend he’d never been gone? Could he long for a different time, not just a different body? Oh, how he wished he’d just done that Biology homework! If he’d done it fast enough, he could still have gone four-wheeling. He missed having hands, even if those hands had to do chores and homework. He could really go for some of mom’s stuffed shells. He’d even wash dishes happily.

Nothing was happening. What was wrong? Why wasn’t he a boy already? He walked up the deck stairs to the dining room door, but all he saw inside was the legs of the table and chairs. He couldn’t see if his homework was still waiting for him. No, don’t think of that! Then, he saw his mom’s slippered feet in front of the counter. From his low angle, he couldn’t tell, but it looked like she was leaning on the counter. Her shoulders moved up, but her head was still down. Her shoulders were shaking – she was crying.

“Mom, I’m here!” Parker cried out, but only barks and yips rang out.

His mom turned to the noise, and he saw her tears, then fear. Mom wasn’t afraid of foxes, but then they’d never come up on the deck either. He didn’t mean to scare her. Oh, to be a human again!

The coffee mug crashed to the floor. His dad yelled, “What did you break?”

Parker was confused for a minute, until he saw the green lawn with the doe by the tree line. He’d gotten exactly what he wished for!

“I dropped a mug, Dad. Sorry. I’ll clean it up,” Parker shouted back. He kept the pieces, though, instead of throwing them away. He needed a reminder of just how bad life could get.