ergh

I wish I could help.
Like the waves crashing on the beach,
Like the sun coming up tomorrow,
Like the seizing of an earthquake.
Like all inevitable events of nature
I wish I could help.

I can't begin to understand
Why you ended up this way
Caught up in a cycle of torment
Being okay, not being okay.
Being okay.
Not wanting to exist.

When I woke up and realized at age 12
That I had no effect on your wellbeing
Helplessness struck me like a ten ton truck
Shackled without a key.

Episode after episode
Like a neverending reality TV show
That no one wanted to watch
But was the only thing on TV.
You do not want to exist
Because after trying to live,
Even existing is too hard.

I wish I could help.