Amaranth

Pt. 1

         The long grass tickled her bare feet as Princess Araless quietly made her way through the secluded meadow. She breathed in deeply, inhaling the muggy summer air that was heavy with the gentle scents of formidable pine trees and delicate wildflowers. Aetheran would be waiting for her in the grove just beyond the meadow. Even though they had been married under the blessing of the King for over a year, Queen Evesssa had made sure their quarters were on opposite sides of the castle, and would often keep them apart for days on end. Araless was always desperate for any time that wasn't swamped with royal duties that she could slip off and be with her love. She had no idea why her mother was so obstinate about keeping them separate, especially after the King's recent passing. But what she did know was that the look on the Queen's face while Aetheran was presented a Royal Jewel was one of utter loathing. Given her obvious distaste for the situation, it hadn't been hard to conclude that open rebellion was not the wisest course of action, so they resolved to meet up in the preciously few quiet moments alotted to them.
          She slipped into the dense forest and scanned the shadowy trees for him. She gasped as she felt someone grab her from behind. Her heart pounded loudly as Aetheran bent his head down to whisper in her ear.
         "How are you, Amaranth? I've missed holding you..." She leaned him and closed her eyes. She could feel his warm breath on her neck and even her clinging fear of her mother seemed, for an instant, to be hollow and irrevalvant.
         "I don't wanna talk...I just want you...Too much going on in the castle..." She shivered as she tried to shake off recent memories that shoved their way into her mind, tearing down her careful fortifications in a single swipe.
         "As you wish." She could tell without looking that he was grinning. She sighed as he scooped her up and held her against his chest. He smelled of freash pine and worn leather, familiar and comforting. He kissed the top of her head.
         "Anything else required by my Amaranth? Are you hungry?" She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face against his warm chest.
         "Mmm...Not at the moment...I'll tell you if I need you to shift me into an alternate dimension of eternal feasting..." He laughed.
         "I could do that, you know..."
         "Of course you could!" She looked up at him and felt a surge of joy. Her voice softened, "But I must say, food isn't the first thing on my mind right now." He kissed her swiftly, then responded breathlessly.
         "You have no idea what you do to me." He slid down to a sitting position, bracing himself against a sturdy pine. She molded her body against his and they lay, motionless, holding each other close. He wound his fingers through her silky caramel-colored hair and gently cupped her face in one hand. Her ivy green eyes gazed into his golden flecked brown ones. Her face was barely an inch from his, and her long hair cascaded down around them.
         "My Amaranth..." He murmured before leaning up to kiss her, but she was already there, her soft lips pressed against his. She tasted sweet, like sun-ripened revelberries and silken moonlight. He could never get enough even as he deepened the kiss and pulled her closer.
         Out of nowhere, a crashing noise exploded in the forest air. Aetheran instantly jumped up and retrieved his sword from beside the tree. They both peered into the dense foliage, trying to make something out. But everything was eerily still. He sighed and took her hand.
         "It's all right...Just some stray sunstag...Don't worry, it wasn't..." He trailed off, not saying the words they were both thinking: The Queen's men. Araless looked away, her voice shaky.
         "I just can't...If they...I...you..." She broke down sobbing as vivid images of blood and the warped sound of cruel laughter filled her head.
         "Don't cry dear heart...Please I can't see you hurting so." He wrapped his arms around her, whispereing softly, stroking her hair.
         "I know what she wants to do...to you...Tears of Ethoria, I can't get it out of my mind..." Her mother's contemptious leer coupled with her gravely rasp, speaking terrible words, taking everything away...He watched her with sad and knowing eyes, as if he was peering into her soul to view the horror.
         "Amaranth..." He ran his hand gently down her tearstained face, tracing her delicate features. "It's not going to be that way. You can't believe that." Her jade green eyes shimmered with more tears.
         "What else do I believe?" She crumbled to the ground, pulling her knees up like a sheild. He slowly sat beside her, watching her from the corner of his eye. Finally he let out a long breath.
         "Let me tell you a story..." He began in an even, gentle cadence. "There once was a sorcerer, a young boy full of worry and hurt. He had no family, no friends...no one to shelter him from the trials of the world as he grew. And he did grow...Bitter, and angry, but mostly sad...And he carried that sadness everywhere with him like a barrier to keep everyone out. He pretended to hate the world, but secretly he wished someone would simply try to reach him...But no one did...So he was alone. He wandered alone for seven years...until the eve of his eighteenth birthday when he found himself in these very woods...Adeia had met with Vevry in the heavens and their silver wings shone with an unearthly glow, draping the forest in a glistening cloak of light. This mage was awed by their ethereal power and watched as the stars danced in the sky. Powerful magic flowed in currents around him, more magic then he had ever experienced. As it raced through his body, he turned about and saw the most beautiful creature...She danced in the silver light, her long hair flowing down her back. All his defenses fell as he watched, basking in her Celestial glory. She was perfect, everything about her...her face, her steps, her hair...And then he felt something. Something other than the anger and pain he had carried with him for so long...No, all those fell away and he felt a crippling desire for another person...Someone for him to love...Someone to love him back...Tears flowed as he watched her dance. Every other emotion fell away until he could only feel the emptiness, the hole that could only be filled by love. He began sobbing and she turned, seeing him for the first time. Her eyes were startlingly green and he felt a jolt of an unknown emotion twist through him, finally settling in his uneasy stomach. She walked soundlessly to stand before him and then reached out a hand. He couldn't stop himself from taking it and she pulled him from the cover of the trees out into the sparkling meadow. And they danced. For hours, swirling as twisting through the waves of magic that encircled them. As the night finally faded, he fell exhausted to the ground and immediately drifted into a dreamless sleep. He awoke, panicked, fearing he would never again find the mysterious Celestial...But as he stood, there she was, standing a few steps away watching him intently with her shining eyes...Clumsily he walked over to her and she spoke. Her voice was sweeter than a siren's song and her laugh sounded as a faerie spring on a moonless night. And from that moment forward she became Amaranth, his eternal beauty and love...She came to love him as well...Though few others ever did...And he vowed to always protect his Amaranth and to bring her joy. She made his spirit sing with happiness and her smile made him shiver with delight. Never before was one made so perfect...never before had one so lovely loved such as this clumsy young mage. He was foolish and painfully inexperienced in every way...but she loved him anyways and brought a dazzling light to his soul...And so they were, perfect and flawed, kind and cruel...she was everything that he was not...and he adored her for it...Amaranth, you have no idea how much I love you. Every day only strengthens my love...I would give my life to see you happy, and my heart to make you smile..." As he finished, she moved awkwardly over to him, falling back into his arms. She wasn't crying anymore and a small smile danced on her lips.
         "Ah, but I am no more perfect then you are cruel! You see me as something I am not...But if I can make your heart leap with joy, then I shall possess everything precious in this world." He eased her onto his lap and nuzzled her neck. She shivered and he laughed. He took her hand and kissed it softly.          "Milady, you have my heart and soul for all of eternity. No matter what befalls me, my love will stay with you." His soft brown eyes danced as he spoke, and Araless leaned into him.
         "Then my life is complete...I have everything...Here with me." She whispered. He raised an eyebrow.
         "Everything?" She cocked her head, slightly puzzled.
         "Yes...What else could I ask for?"
         "I suppose...Well, never mind..." He looked away, his face showing no readable emotion. Curiousity burst inside her, even as she knew she shouldn't ask, the words tumbled out.
         "What is it, love?" She kissed his cheek and wrapped her arms around his neck.
         "You are enough, my Amaranth..I need nothing more." She pursed her lips, her curiousty less than sated. He leaned in and started kissing her, but she broke away.
         "No. Tell me what you want...Please? I just want to know...Why won't you tell me?" He shook his head, light brown hair falling into his face.
         "Some things are not fair to ask of another. I fear this is one of them..." A distant look clouded his face. "I'm sorry I said anything..." His voice was barely a whisper. She stared with wide eyes at his stony face. Tears of Ethoria, he doesn't want to kill the queen, does he?
         "Did I do something?" His face changed back to normal and he sighed.
         "Of course not...This is something I need to work out with myself..." She pushed his hair back from his face and took his hand.
         "I could help you...I won't tell a soul!" She grinned mischievously. He played along.
         "No one? Not even your love?" She feigned distress.
         "I fear I cannot keep anything from him that I love! I believe it is the same for him, or I would at least hope so..." She broke her performance to give him a pointed look. He exhaled loudly, continuing to play their game, rather than plainly divulge his desires.
         "Tis so, fair maiden. Tis so..." He plowed a hand through his unkempt hair. "I wish...for...things...that cannot be. Some wishes will simply never come to fruition..." My mother will die someday...If that's what he means. She had the growing suspision however that a dead monarch was not his hearts desire.
         "What do you wish?" She felt horribly idiotic and reduntant. This conversation has gone absoulotely nowhere! The silence seemed to last forever as she looked into his eyes, trying to decipher his hidden wish. When finally he answered, it was in the same maddeningly cryptic manner.
         "Perhaps what every man wants..."
         "Roast pork?" She mumttered sarcasticly. He chuckled at her growing inpatience.
         "Besides that! I wish for something that many men take for granted." She was damn tired of riddles and was not about to play this game any longer.
         "You want my mother dead and to be king of all Ethoria. Or something." He kissed her and leaned over on his back with her still lying on top of him.
         "Sorry, love...Guess again. I'll give you a hint: Many men have a dozen, yet never cherish them..." She frowned. Then a paralyzing thought hit her. That was it.
         "Oh. I see." She climbed off him and turned away, feeling rather rejected. And why shouldn't I? One part of her argued. This was apparently not the part that controlled her mouth "That's not too much...I suppose...If that's what you wish...I'll see it happens." What?! Let him solve his own problems! He wants another woman, he can go find her by his own damned self! She wrapped her arms around herself, trying not to sniffle or look overly bothered. "It's hard for me...us being apart, you know...but I suppose it could be harder for you...You should do whatever you want..." What do you even need me for? The jealous part of her quipped. He reached out to touch her shoulder and she flinched.
         "Amaranth?"
         "Yes?" Her voice was raw with barely contained anger and sadness.
         "I'm sorry for bringing this up, I never should have asked. Forget I said anything..." He knelt beside her, waiting for a response. Something inside her burst and the flood of emotion rushed forward.
         "I thought marrying someone meant you stayed with them, but if you're so special, then fine, break all the damn rules. See if I stop you!" He furrowed his brow.
         "Ummm..." She crackled with anger at his lack of apology.
         "I'm sure there are plently of girlies to suit your fashion, ones that wouldn't mind going to bed with a married man! Ones with as little fidelity as a half-minded ass like yourself!" He suddenly burst out laughing, cutting off her rant, clutching his stomach while he rocked with back and forth.
         "Wait-you-you-thought-" He was laughing too hard to speak. She scowled as he tried to regain his composure, still hiccuping with laughter. "You seriously thought that I wanted to bed those sort of dirty girlies? You seriously believed that I would marry a girl I wasn't absoultely completly in love with and commited to forever? You think I'd leave that girl for a few hours with a cheap wench? If I did, I certainly would be a half-minded ass and you'd have every right to tell me so." His tone gentled. "I wish that you would think better of me." She folded her arms across her chest.
         "Dammit, what am I supposed to think when you give me hints like that? I hate your stupid guessing game. " He tried to retain a mature expression, but burst out laughing again. She rolled her eyes as she waited for him to respond. He breathed out with barely a giggle and began to speak.
         "Love, I could never want anyone else...As you can see, it's a laughable thought...You are the only woman I ever think of, ever desire. No one could possibly compare. Ever. That was not at all what I meant. Sweet, sweet, Amaranth...I want you, and only you. More than you can know..." He cupped her face and brought it to his, kissing her slowly and lovingly. She tried to keep from smiling but ended up giggling softly.
         "At first I thought you wanted my mother dead...But then, from what you said...I don't understand." His face grew distant and his voice seeped with emotion.
         "Do you want to know what I meant? I promise it has nothing to do with fancy girls." Though he tried to joke, his tone was strained. She pressed her forehead against his.
         "Whatever it is, you can tell me."
         "I want a son." Her eyes grew wide and her mouth formed a perfect O as he hastened to add, "Not specificly a son-just a child...Boy or girl...But I know...You can't...We can't..." He pulled away, frowning and biting at his lower lip, watching her response intently. Her fingers trembled, and her face was still captured in slack-jawed shock. I never could have guessed this. Not in a thousand years, never could have imagined...
         "I understand why you would wish for a child...but I fear what my mother would do to it...or you. I highly doubt she would even let me deliver...I'm sorry...But if you truly want this-" She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear thoughtfully.
         "No. It's not worth putting you at risk." He pulled her close and she complied, relaxing against him.
         "I would like a baby...a child...I suppose most girls do...Are you sure you don't want me to at least try?" He tightened his arms around her protectively.
         "No, my Amaranth. You are more then I deserve already. I am content with your love." She yawned.
         "As am I..." A smile tugged at his lips as she sleepily hugged him.
         "Tired? You should rest..."
         "Mmm mmm." She shook her head and began kissing him passionately. He kissed her back with intensity rivaling hers. She grasped at him, pulling him closer to her. His fingers became twisted in her hair.
         "Oh, love...oh sweet love...my dear Amaranth..." He moaned through the kiss. She only pulled him closer.
         Back at the castle, hours later, Araless was restless. She could taste Aetheran's kisses on her lips and almost feel his arms around her. She sighed and slouched down in her chair. She was supposed to be reviweing Royal Decrees...But her mind was elsewhere. She wished she could be back in his arms again...even if they were lying on the forest floor. But that wasn't the only thought that consumed her. She couldn't push away the thought of Aetheran's wish...Could there be any way? She pondered, Any way to make sure I deliver and he stays safe...Then a brief idea flashed through her mind: The summer castle. It was rarely used, but well maintained...If she could get her mother to let her stay there for long enough...It was a risky idea. Timing was impeccable...Still, a surge of hope shone through. She abandoned the Decrees to find her mother.


         "You want to spend over half a year in the middle of nowhere? Darling, tis foolishness!" Evesssa waved her hand dismissively and laughed haughtily. Araless felt herself growing angry, her heart thumping erratically.
         "Mother..." She began politely, "I-I believe that this trip would...Benefit my health. You know how sickly I am...Always dizzy and such! The responsibilites of being Princess bear down upon me daily." She put all her energy into making her words believable. "Being out in the fresh air, away from taxing duties and tiresome people...I believe both my physical and mental health would benefit tremendously. And perhaps I can even bring a semblance of order to the people in the east.." Evesssa tapped her fingers on the edge of her chair.
         "I do most of the work around here anyways...I suppose...If it isn't too long. I'll manage." She sighed in disgust and turned away from her elated daughter. Hope now flowered in Araless's chest.


         "Please tell me this isn't for real...Dear Amaranth you can't do something like this...I can't even list all the risks! That 'castle' is deadly, that damned Queen is obviously hoping to get you killed! You can't birth a child there! And what if mother dearest decides to pay you a visit? And what about once this baby is born? What then?" Aetheran was fuming at her idea. Araless calmly responded to his fears.
         "I have taken all these things into account. There is no way it would be easy, but nothing worth this much comes without a price. I am fortunite that this is a price I am both willing and able to pay. As for the castle, mother has never been there...and she isn't planning on changing that...she hates the east, remember? I will have both solitude and safety. And I can have Midsy care for the baby, I trust her with this secret. Mother doesn't give a damn what my servants do... The child may have to grow up without knowledge of their heritege, but they will still be close to both me and you. And once the queen is dead and gone, our child can take their rightful place as heir. It's risky, but in my mind, worth it. And even if you don't agree, there is nothing you can do about it, so I suggest you get used to the idea." He chuckled and shook his head.
         "A little insistant are we? I can tell you truly want this to work, but as well thought out and fun this scheme sounds, I have to disagree. I won't cooperate with this, and I won't let you put yourself in that kind of danger. And seeing as how you can't do any of this without me...you'll have to call it off." He grinned slightly, challenging her to think of a response. She paused and he nodded to her, awaiting her words. Finally, a her lips curved into a small smile. Two can play this game.
         "I don't need you to do any of this. Any child of mine is an heir, whether you are the father or not. There are plently of, should I say, alternitives, though I will say I much prefer this one." She stated nonchalantly. His grin faded. Is she serious? Blood of Ethoria, she can't be! This is crazier than the first idea.
         "Sweet Amaranth..Please...Dammit, I'm sorry, please don't do something stupid...If you got caught...You're still married to me..." She rolled her eyes, and his breath caught in his throat. Is she still mad about earlier? Is this to get back at me?
         "Ohhh, so you'd be more distressed about me getting caught than of the fact that I was unfaithful? Honestly?" He stared intently into her eyes. She means it. Bloody heart of an Angel, she's serious! His mind went blank, unable to formulate an appropriate response. Finally he just opened his mouth and let the words stream out.
         "I'm going to be very blunt here, though entirely truthful. If any man forces himself upong you, or even suggest such a thing, I will kill him where he stands. But if you choose to give yourself to some other...Well, you could sleep with a hundred men and I would still adore you. I can't help it...You are too perfect for me to ever stop loving. Even if that love is not reciprocated to the same degree. I will always be here for you." A tear escaped the cornor of his eye and his voice broke. He turned away to hide his crying, shamefaced. "Damn...I'm sorry...For everything you've had to go through because of me. It isn't fair, and I wish I could somehow rectify the wrongs you have graciously endured." He cleared his throat. She doesn't want to hear your pretty speeches anymore. She doesn't want to hear anything from you.
         "I should be going...Wouldn't want to get you in any more trouble..." As he turned, hunched over and defeated, Araless felt her heart shatter. Blood of Ethoria, what have I done? She worried. How did I convince him so easily that I could ever love another? How could he believe that what I have endured is in any way his fault? What kind of person am I, to destroy him like that?
         "Wait! Please...?" She added the gentler please on hurridly, as if it could soften the blow she had already administered. He turned, and hastily wiped his face dry, trying to appear as if he was unbothered by the situation. He failed completly.
         "Yeah?" He replied huskily, emotion still thick in his voice. She fidgeted anxiously. He really thinks I don't want him for the father of my child...He sighed.
         "I understand what you're saying Amaranth. I wouldn't turn to someone like me either. You don't have to justify yourself..." No! You don't understand at all!
         "I-I need...you...no one else...dammit I lied! There you go! You've got a lying, scheming witch for a wife! I could never have another love! And certainly want no other father for my child...Our child, I mean." She smiled softly. Aetheran's face blossomed with relief and happieness, but still remained shadowed with pain and guilt. This is all my fault, if I hadn't said anything, she wouldn't have consudered this a possibility. She hung her head, and he took her small hand in his.
         "My perfect Amaranth..I would do anything else for you...Slay a dragon, conquer a kingdom...but don't ask me to put you in danger. The other day...I was just babbling. I don't want you to do anything like this."
         "I'm not doing it for you." She replied formally. "I'm doing it for me. I want a child...please don't deny me this." He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her head.
         "I wish I could say I was capable of staying back and keeping you safe...If I was half the man I wish I was, I'd have never stuck around when I saw how much it could hurt you...Never would have married you, or agreed to meet in secret...I should have killed myself two years ago when I first saw you that night. Would have spared you all this...If I could have known, I swear on all the gods-"
         "That you would love me forever." She finished for him. He groaned and shook his head.
         "I fear that's all I can do."


         Araless buried her head in her arms and tried not to bawl. Everything had been going perfectly...minus one aspect...She carried no child. She prayed for a miracle to befall her before they set out for the castle. Nine months in Summer Hall. That was all she had.
         "Why is this so damn hard?" She muttered angrily. It had been four months without her regular dose of anti-pregnancy herbs...and nothing...She was upset at herself, and though Aetheran tried not to show it, he was disappointed as well. Despite his initial misgivings, he had warmed up quickly to the idea of having a child. Only it seemed there wouldn't be a child. A soft knock sounded on the door.
         "Come in." She called miserably. Cautiously, her maidservant Midsy slipped into the room.
         "Milady." She squeaked. Araless frowned.
         "Speak up!" She demanded, causing Midsy to quiver.
         "Y-yes, M-milady! I-I have a message!" She bowed deeply.
         "On with it then!" Araless waved a hand dismissively. She was in no mood for this.
         "From your husband, Lord Aetheran. He has requested your presence this afternoon in his private quarters. He wishes to discuss matters of great importance and utter secrecy." Araless's stomach flipped and a wave of despair overwhelmed her. He knew it was futile. He wouldn't let her keep trying. Midsy continued, "He says that you know of what I speak and that he will leave you as long as necessary to prepare yourself. That is all." She curtsied and tripped out of the room. Araless rubbed her forehead wearily. All the pressure and strain was finally getting to her, and she felt it in every part of her exhausted body. Finally she forced herself to stand, and slowly made her way out of her room and through the deserted castle halls. She took her time, meandering along, trying to think of what to tell him. Her mind remained blank and she soon found herself before the door to Aetheran's chambers. Rather than announcing herself, she hesitantly walked in. Aetheran was sitting cross legged on the bed, with his back to her. She didn't think he had noticed her yet. Araless felt an overwhelming urge to leave before he did. She turned back to the door.
         "Amaranth..." She flinched. He had noticed. He still wasn't facing her, and she sighed.
         "Yes?" She replied in a hushed tone, almost hoping he wouldn't hear. He did.
         "Why are you...sad? What's wrong...sweet Amaranth?" She winced. She had said only one word and he already knew how upset she was. No sense in hiding anything now, she thought glumly. She trudged over to an overstuffed chair opposite the bed, and settled into it. He still sat without looking at her, which seemed odd, but she didn't question it.
         "I'm discouraged. I just want...this to work..." He nodded very slowly.
         "It can be...discouraging...To be in such circumstances..." His voice was halting and shaky. "I...just want you...safe...and happy..." The obvious pain manifested in every word frightened her. She pulled herself out of the chair and moved to sit beside him on the bed. He turned away, his face cloaked in shadow.
         "What is it?" She placed a hand on his arm and felt a tremor rush through him. His breathing was ragged as he continued to shake.
         Without thinking, Araless pulled him towards her, supporting his weight and glancing at his face. She shrieked and he collapsed onto the bed beside her. She couldn't breathe, she couldn't speak...It was terrible. His face was bloodied and cut all over. Oozing gashes seeped blood and puss, and his left eye was gone. The socket where it should have been was dripping blood. The sight was horribly gory, and she felt her stomach turn. Before she could stop herself, she vomited up her lunch all over the floor beside the bed.
         "Mmm...Sorry...Looks bad..." He whispered hoarsely. Trembling, she took his hand.
         "Shh...It's OK...it's gonna be OK..." She forced a weak smile, and pushed blood matted hair from his face.
         "Hurts like hell...but I'm sure...it looks worse than it is..." He squeezed her shaking hand.
         "Who...?" She queried. He moaned softly.
         "Dear Amaranth...I'd give my life...to see you safe...I will protect...My Amaranth..." She broke down crying and curled up next to him, wrapping her arms around him.
         "If I could take away the hurt..." She began.
         "No...I'd do this...thousand times over...for you..." He took her hand and gently kissed her palm, leaving a bloodstain on her pale skin.
         "Can the Healer help?" Painstakingly, he shook his head.
         "Can't...show my...face...not...now...need to...lie low..."
         "I'm going to take care of you then...You can't be left alone like this!" He managed a hoarse laugh.
         "Ive been here...alone...for...hours...cuts aren't bleeding...as much..."
         "They haven't even been cleaned! Honestly you probably already have a thousand infections festering in those cuts! And that...eye...needs, mmm, cared for..."
         "Eye...or lack of?" She sighed.
         "Either way, I'm not letting you sit here covered in blood with over a dozen open cuts!"
         "Yes...mother..."
         "Stop talking, save your energy for recovering, not making jokes! I'm going to get some bandages and towels..." She eased out of his grasp and made her way to the back closet, where linens and clothing were kept. She selected a few towels and sheets that could be ripped into bandages, as well as a pair of clean trousers and a fresh tunic. After that she filled a basin with water from the fountain and carried it back into the bedroom. As an afterthought, she locked the door to the room, securely fastening the deadbolt to deny any other entrance.
         It took over an hour to first mop her vomit from the ground, and then clean Aetheran's oozing cuts. As she worked, her stomach remained in a tight knot, and her hands shook. Unsurprisingly, the rest of his body was also bruised and cut, though his face was obviously the worst. She noticed as she was bandaging his face that he was sleeping peacefully. She marveled at his trust of her, as well as his calm demeanor. Carefully, she began stripping his dirty clothes off, making a mental note to have them burned later. Drowsily, Aetheran swatted at her hand.
         "You just can't...keep your hands off me!" His voice was stronger and she felt a surge of relief.
         "You overestimate yourself!" She laughed and tossed a clean pair of trousers at him. He slipped into them slowly, grinning lopsidedly at her as he did. She picked up the bloody rags and clothes and tossed them into the wastebasket.
         "Milady, it taxes me greatly...to see you laboring on my behalf. Let me assist you, please...fair maiden. It is my only desire." He painfully pulled himself onto his feet, holding onto the bedpost for support. Araless darted to his side and wrapped an arm around him.
         "You need to lie down!" She ordered. He grimaced.
         "I've been lying down for hours, I don't want to sit on that damned bed for one more moment!" He wobbled slightly and she tightened her grip.
         "Please, love...For me if not you..." He huffed indignity.
         "Only if you stay with me."
         "Of course." She helped him lie back down on the soft feather bed. Then she curled up next to him and let him put his arm around her. All the while, she refused to look at his mutilated face. They lay in silence for a while, until Araless was sure he was asleep. Then she tried to crawl off the bed, and leave the room.
         "Hey, you're tired of me already?" She exhaled loudly.
         "Dammit."
         "Nice to see you too." Her back was facing him, but she could hear him trying to move.
         "I-I just...wanted...to, ummmm, clean the laundry..." She trailed off awkwardly. She couldn't bring herself to tell the truth, that seeing him this way terrified and disturbed her.
         "Since when have you taken up a servant's duties?" He responded softly. Her shoulders sagged.
         "I'm sorry, but this is..."
         "Horrific, disgusting, sickening, revolting, disgraceful, hideous, monstrous, nasty...Stop me when you hear something you like." His voice was bitter and laced with intense hurt. She felt a stabbing remorse bite at her heart. She mustered her courage and timidly moved to face him. His empty eye socket was covered with a strip of cloth, but the rest of his face was still open cuts that were slowly forming scabs. It is horrific...She swallowed that thought.
         "I suppose you will be looking elsewhere for love..Find someone who you can look at without vomiting, someone less hideous and shockingly ugly. I know what you're thinking...You don't have to say it." His voice broke on the last sentence and he began to cry silently. Araless sat, frozen watching him. She wanted to reach out, reassure him and take him in her arms, tell him that she didn't care...but it would be a lie. She did care, far too much, and he was revolting. If it were me he wouldn't care...He'd still call me perfect... she thought guiltily. Finally she forced her mouth to move, though she didn't comprehend the words that came out.
         "You're hideous!" She wailed, "You're broken, destroyed! I can't do this!" His face resumed a stony expression.
         "I understand that."
         "But it's never gonna change! It's always gonna be sick! Ethoria's bloody tears, this is awful!"
         "I think you've made your position clear at this point. Thank you for caring for me. You may go now." He turned away until she couldn't see his face anymore. An intense wave of shame and despair crashed over her and she felt cool, salty tears drip down her face.
         "Don't cry, sweet Amaranth..I'm not worth your precious tears...Oh lovely Amaranth.." She sat stiffly as he carefully moved to her and wrapped her in his arms, rocking back and forth slowly.
         "I'm a horrible person!" She choked out, "If-if it was me that was...so...disgusting...you-you wouldn't care...But I'm just a terrible, awful woman! I am cruel and horrible and you still come to comfort me...Ethoria knows I don't deserve that!"
         "Shh...Everything is different for everyone...We all have our trials and pains...It's what we do with them that counts...what will you do with this?" She hiccuped loudly and he laughed, the same familiar cadence she loved. If she didn't look, it was almost like nothing was wrong.
         "I dunno what to do. I suppose I'll just let life come as it may...not much else I can do."
         "Precious Amaranth, there is so much more! There is love and joy and so much wonderful things if we hold onto the good and bravely face the bad. If you move numbly through this entire existence than what was the point of living? We will never experience this moment ever again...so make it count. Make every second worthwhile, and then you will see what you can do." She snuggled against him.
         "When did you become the philosopher?" He kissed the top of her head.
         "I have many gifts, the best of which is you. I'm sorry to put you through this." He's apologizing to me?! Again she was overwhelmed with remorse and distress over her disgusted attitude.
         "I wish I could have taken this all more gracefully. I feel sick at the way I'm acting...but I can't help it...I wish everything could be normal..."
         "Yeah 'normal' where your physco mother won't let us see each other and tries to murder me on a regular basis. Normal is just so much fun!" She rolled her eyes.
         "You know what I mean!"
         "Do I?" She paused, unsure of what to say. "I don't know what you perceive normal as, but my life has always been a jumble of pain and a heap of trouble. But what I've learned is that the best things come from the hardest trials." He laughed quietly, "Getting hurt like this is a small price to pay to have you with me...It hurts, but that's alright because the reward is so sweet." A lump rose in her throat.
         "Yeah...I guess that's one way to look at it..."
         "The best way to look at it."


         The trip to Summer Hall had been called off, to Araless's disappointment, and castle life continued as normal. A skilled craftmage had created a false eye for Aetheran to wear. It perfectly matched his real eye, and moved as if it was seeing the world as well. If she hadn't known the truth, Araless wouldn't have geven thought to question its authenticy. His face was slowly changing from scabs to scars, and had become significantly less gruesome. She had hardly seen him at all in the weeks that passed quickly by. Part of her ached to see him again, but logically she knew she had to take time to collect her thoughts before they were alone again. Each night was full of terrifying nightmares of death and unimaginable pain, so she awoke every morning fatigued and drained. She was constantly irritable and snapped at anyone who ventured within her range. Finally the pressure exploded.
         "Bloody Tears of Ethoria! What the hell are you doing?! That looks revolting! Dammit, can't you even do one thing right?!" Araless raged at a trembling Midsy.
         "S-s-sorry M-milady! S-so sorry!" The young girl was petrified with fear as she stumbled out of the room with the unsatisfactory breakfast tray. Araless sunk back into her bed and closed her eyes, making a futile effort to relax.
         The door squeaked open. She groaned.
         "Don't bring those damn eggs back in here!" She pulled a pillow over her head to block out her maidservant's response. A tap on her shoulder made her whorl around, ready to strike out at the indigent girl. A surprised but amused Aetheran faced her. She huffed loudly and plopped back down on the bed. He walked over to the edge of the bed and sat down, smiling slightly. Normally he would have grabbed her and kissed her hard, but ever since...the incident...and Araless's intense reaction to his appearance, he halted almost any physical contact, unless she initiated it. In a way, it stung, but she also felt slightly glad that he had taken such care to make her comfortable.
         "I'm afraid I'm all out of 'damn eggs' today!" He teased. She blushed a bright red.
         "I haven't been...at my best...If you know what I mean." She looked down, staring intently at her clasped hands.
         "Things are hard." He agreed, "For both of us." She instantly felt guilty. She had been so preoccupied with her own superficial concerns she had never bothered to consider how he must feel. Scarred for life, he had borne the pain without complaint, while she wailed about how hideous he was. Still he stayed calm, even as she refused to touch him, and remained hostile and distant. I can't help what I feel...She thought stubbornly. Part of her seemed to disagree, and she swallowed her fear and disgust, reaching out to take his hand. Bewildered, he stared dumbly at their hands. Araless couldn't help smiling.
         "You don't have to do that, you know." He whispered. She averted her gaze, still keeping his hand in hers. Her mind screamed at her to pull away and she whimpered.
         "I need to do this."
         "Maybe next you will look at me without cringing." He muttered under his breath, so quiet she barely heard.
         "I'm sorry...This is very hard for me." You're not the only one with problems! Her mind added.
         "I can tell." His voice was flat, all emotion skillfully contained.
         "I just need to take it slow." You're lucky I'm doing this at all...She scanned his face, but couldn't recognize any readable emotion.
         "Whatever you need, Princess." Another thing that ate at her was that since the incident he never referred to her as 'my Amaranth' or any of his other names that identified her as his love. It was a small thing, but it affected her deeply. She nodded slowly and inched closer to him. He remained stiff and unyeilding.
         "Can-could...you-maybe, I dunno..." The words refused to come. He stared without emotion into her eyes.
         "Yes?" It was too much. The pain and separation and his distance from her. She broke down and burst into heaving sobs.
         "H-hold me!" She cried out through her tears. Hesitantly, he reached out to encircle her in his arms and awkwardly scooted closer as she continued crying loudly. I can't. I just can't. I'm gonna hurl. Ethoria, this is terrible. I can't!
         "Are you sure you want this?" He murmured into the curve of her ear. The genuine concern in his words comforted her in a way nothing else could.
         "I need you...so much." And I'm so, so sorry...He tightened his arms around her.
         "I'm here, I always have been and always will be." She nestled herself comfortably in his embrace, feeling the tension slowly filter out. Don't look. It's OK. Don't think...It's OK...
         "Tired? Do you need to rest?" She membered almost half a year back when he had asked almost the same question. This time everything is different...
         "Not really..." She desperately wished that she could erase the last few weeks and go back to their simpler love of before. She had wanted him and he wanted her. Now, it was more...complicated.
         "Lay back and close your eyes..." His lips brushed her ear and a tiny shiver trembled through her body. They both noticed. "Are you all right? Is this too much? You don't have to..." Don't look. Don't think. Don't look...Her thoughts slowly trailed away.
         "No...It's...better...good...not bad..." The right words skillfully eluded her so she sat, flustered, and confused.
         "I don't ever want to make you feel uncomfortable or upset. Please remember that. I still love you, but I can back away...If you want..." He ran a hand through his short wavy hair, nervously waiting her response.
         Acting on instinct she pulled him close against her and kissed him deeply. Oh Ethoria help me! Don't look...Angels grant me faith...She couldn't breathe and tears began to well up in her eyes. In response, Aetheran's breath caught in his throat, and his body tensed. Ethoria! I beg of you!
         Without warning, everything around her changed. She was no longer on her bed crying as her scarred once-lover embraced her. It was springtime, and they were lying alone in the warm sunshine, the long grass obscuring them from view.
         How do you know I love you? He smiled at her. His face was unmarked and wonderful again, handsome and perfect. His eyes sparkled as he waited for her response.
          I feel your love in every kiss, every touch, and every word you whisper to me. He was kissing her then. Araless felt her heart shatter as she watched herself, so in love, so joyful. It will never be the same.
         Why do you love me? She watched a younger version of herself ponder the question.          Well...because you're wonderful. He laughed and kissed her palm.
          I will not always be the man I am today. People feel hurt and anger, along with the pain of age. I will not be eternally perfect, as you are. The truth of the words stung, even years later.
         I don't care what you look like or what you do! I love you and that cannot-will not-ever change! Aetheran Tristariam, I would give everything I have to always be with you. Araless felt herself crying. What have I become? Aetheran gazed into the eyes, of a different, better, version of her. Finally he spoke.
         If this is so...
         It is!
         Why was I so eager to take on such pain?
         Will you marry me? I only wish to be with you as long as I live. You can give me no greater gift, no sweeter pleasure then agreeing to be my wife. Sobbing, Araless closed her eyes, trying to block out the pain and regret that coursed through her as she watched the beauty of the love she once had.
         And that you will have again. The voice penetrated her very soul, the simple promise bringing back her hope and faith in herself and her love. I can do this. I won't look away, for that means missing the most beautiful moments. The words were own, yet she couldn't comprehend them.
         Your love will become so much better than it ever was. My child, never lose hope. Joyful sobs escaped Araless as she began falling back into her body. Thank you, Ethoria!
         I have only shown you what you already have. Then she was back, kissing Aetheran on her bed, her cheeks wet with tears. She could feel him pulling away. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed herself close against him, unafraid and euphoric. After a few moments of surprise, his muscles relaxed and he kissed her back, soft and sweet. Then he pulled away and scanned her face to gauge her reaction. She sat back, eyes dancing, with a tiny smile flickering on her face. Thank you, Ethoria... Obvious relief exploded on his face and he let out a loud whoop. Araless couldn't help laughing.
         "Feeling any better?" She whispered, equally amused and elated.
         "My sweet, sweet Amaranth...Oh how I missed you...Ethoria alone feels my pain." She buried her face in his shoulder and shuddered softly, the familiar comfort reassuring and welcoming. Her muffled voice finally answered him.
         "Love you...so much...love you..." Only Ethoria could bring that back...
         "I...was...afraid. Afraid that you would never want me again...I missed you more than words can say." I'm sorry I was so blind... He twisted his fingers into her tangled hair, gently combing through her unruly ringlets.
         "Eternal Amaranth/Gem of Time/Ethereal Amaranth/She is mine/Enticing Amaranth/Forever young/Sweetest Amaranth/My only love/Lovely Amaranth/Enticedfrom the start/Everlasting Amaranth/I give you my heart..."
         "I love that poem..." She pulled herself closer to him, comforted and content. He bent down slowly and began to cautiously kiss her neck and shoulders, as if it were the first time he had done so. She leaned into him expectantly, so he moved up to kiss her face. He pressed a kiss to her nose and her cheeks and her forehead, while smiling at her wide green eyes. She fidgeted slightly and he pulled back, concern registering in his eyes.
         "What is it?" She sighed and brushed her hair back.
         "Could you just hurry up and let me kiss you?" The words surprised her, but he laughed happily.
         "I'd have it no other way."