Find Your Happiness.

Dear Me,

Sometimes things get easy. They get so easy, in fact, that you relax and settle in for the ride, and before you know it, you’ve hit a bump in the road and the car goes careening off a cliff. That is sort of how this last year went, wasn’t it? You got married and bought a house in 2012, you settled in for the long haul in 2013, and then BAM. You mean you didn’t see that moose in the road? Neither did I.

The only thing you can do from here is damage control. That, and count your blessings that you’re in good health, that you have an incredible husband and family who all love you, and take a few deep, deep breaths. You’ve got this. The theme to 2014 will be regaining control. Grab onto that steering wheel and let’s outline the plan of attack.

The first thing you hit in 2013 was weight gain. After the wedding and the house, the gym became less of a priority. I know it’s hard living in Minnesota and being a runner. The treadmill just isn’t as fun, and it isn’t worth a broken ankle to run outside. There is still a lot you can do at the gym besides run. Take a class. See the trainer. Give yourself a goal of doing a single pull up before summer. Make it fun and change it up.

I want you to remember how great you felt that month you went to the gym three times a week. Remember how you slept well? Remember how your body didn’t want that junky food anymore? Remember how proud you were when you saw your biceps and triceps starting to pop out? You need to keep that memory in focus when you don’t want to go to the gym because you’re too busy, too tired, too sore… too, too, too. Stop it.

I know you don’t like the extra thirty pounds you put on, because I’m you and I hate it. It’s uncomfortable. It’s literally weighing us down. For Christmas, you received Focus T25, so go get it girl. Work that 5 day a week program until you bleed. Make fitness a priority. And while you’re at it, clean up that diet, too. No more eating out just because you want to. Make it a reward for a good week. No more Cheetos because you’re bored. More fruits, more veggies, more water. You’ve got this.

The next major obstacle you failed to avoid was credit card debt. Seriously… what the hell happened there?! I mean, I know what happened because I was there… but you need to start holding yourself accountable. Take the cards out of your wallet. Restrict your spending to a weekly budget and pay off those cards. It’s a little insane to know you have more credit card debt than the total money in your bank accounts. This seriously needs to change.

Every time you go to spend money, I want you to really think about the purchase. What need does it satisfy? In the long term, will it make you happy, or breed regret? A credit card makes it so easy to WANT. You need to get back to that non-materialistic girl you were before. Use what you have before you buy more of what you don’t really need. Wiser spending will help this process really take off.

As far as spending is concerned, we may as well address that craft beer habit you have. You know you have an addictive personality, so that collection of rare and unique beers you started? It’s taken over the dining room. This year, you’re only buying what you really need to. Yes, you can still buy beer. You blog about it! You have an Etsy store for upcycled bottles. You’re going to need to keep collecting. Perhaps, though, you allow yourself only two bottle per paycheck, if you’re running low. For now, drink what you have, review what you have, and keep the credit card out of this game.

The last road hazard was the worst. You lost your zen. You quit going to yoga, you quit nurturing that earthly spirituality, and your light fizzled out. This event was felt throughout your life this year. It caused the need to fill the holes with monetary purchases. It caused the laziness that brought on the weight gain. We need to turn this around as fast as possible.

Sure, your husband thinks it’s weird that you like to read books on reading Tarot and that you sage the house once in a while… get over it. You know what binds your soul to you and gives you life, so go after it. Journal more. If you can’t talk about this path with someone else, write your thoughts and your interests down. Challenge yourself to get back to where you were the happiest.

This all means finding your happiness again. This means you need to get out there and read a book. Learn something new. Create something you can be proud of. Most of all, take time to start writing again. There is an ache deep in your soul to return to a world where you write and create stories, and you need to take time to get back to the place where this stirs up the joy in your heart that it once did. I challenge you to take one day a month to go to that corner coffee shop and just write. We both know that it’s too easy to get distracted in the house, so go out and make it happen.

It’s going to be a good year. If we attack these goals and stay motivated through all the hard times, we can make this the best year we have seen in a long time. Get out there and make your happiness. Find your health. Settle into your peace. Make 2014 the year where you take control.

With love and support,
You


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