This poem identifies the conflict between reality and dream. It is a scene from 3 POVs. |
(1st POV - The Victim's) In this quiet night There is a terror on the edge of the silence, A terror caused by the stench of death. I look around My shoulders tense, my spine stiffens The shadows rise The whispers of the wind sharpen And from out of sight The predator jumps for its oblivious prey... As the shadows float closer From hidden corners I prepare, Heightening my senses. I see their indistinguishable figures, Smell their distinctive scent, It is as sharp as fresh citrus - I wrinkle my nose from the sore odor. But oddly I could not hear a whisper, They glided as stealthily as a lion Hunting for its prey... Sensing the nerves Boiling deep in the pit of my stomach I tightened my fists, Sharpened my stance, And stood strong. I would not beg. I would not give in. And I would not lose. When they charged I met them blow for blow Hit for hit And strike for strike. I was not weak I was strong. I was not frightened I was brave. I was a fighter----- Or was I? The first strike struck silently from behind, Falling face first to the muddy ground of the empty street A whimper tore out of my throat As pain exploded in my spine. Blows landed Without pause They were strong, unhesitant, Brutal and unforgiving - There was no sympathy In the way they struck repeatedly. I laid and I waited Wishing it would stop Thinking 'Maybe soon the pain will cease', But it didn't. Umph Umph Umph With each punch, hit and blow to the gut, head and back Mutters and whimpers of excruciating pain Wheezed past my parted lips. My lungs tightened like a twisting knot of ropes As I gasped in desperate need for air. You know the saying 'Your life flashes before your eyes just before you die'? I always took its genuineness for granted, Until now. Flashes of memories, Ones tasteful and others bitter, Played under my tightly closed lids. Some more painful than any physical pain, Some that made my heart ache More than any blazing blow to the chest could. The cheery laughs of my little dwarfs. The beautiful, wide grins, Present to greet me with their blinding brightness Each delightful morning. The promises hastily made, Some paid for And some... Not just yet. Would I be able to keep those small but significant promises? Or would I have to break them? 'But was it your first time to break a promise?' My subconscious knew the truth. I knew the answer, And with it came the familiar sense of remorse and guilt. No, it was not the first time I broke a hastily made promise of mine From each fresh wound I felt the blood flow swiftly Seeping to the dirty ground of this quiet night. Turning my eyes from the sickening sight Of my own wasted blood. I looked at the masked face of my foreign foe Maybe I did deserve this pain After all, I really was at fault, Letting cheap words Fall out of my mouth. Broken promises, My body could not keep, But my mouth kept going, Writing cheques I knew I would not pay And that was how I lost half of me My other wonderful half My significant one The one I should have let the world fall at its feet But instead, I let it slip through my sinful fingers. My sight blurred My thoughts shuffled messily Then, after a moment of blissful numbness The last blow struck - A knife to my wounded gut. I felt the agonizing pain of the knife Driving in, up to its lethal heel I heard the hiss of its metallic body Slicing into my skin. And as blood flowed as fast as a faucet being turned to its fullest The raw pain took over, My hazy mind started to seep into unconsciousness And as I lifted my eyes lazily They met the blurred sight of the moon. Low in the sky it hung Gazing silently down Sadness reflecting from its pale and tired face. Thinking the same thoughts as I for the last time... 'I wish I had chosen a different path. I wish reality was a dream. I wish I had a stronger will. I wish I would stop living in fear Of myself Of others And of tomorrow.' (2nd POV - The Witness's) It's kind of like Dvu I want to get away from this place, I do But I can't And I won't. The blood The muskiness in the air The screams of pain The strangled voices yelling 'Help!' The hope leaving their eyes Just as fast as life did It was all so familiar Except then, It was under the watchful eye of the sun And now, It is under the dull light of the moon. How ironic was it? How people thought, How they hoped Monsters only came at night But that wasn't reality Reality was cruel Reality was what we hoped Could be only a dream So we escape from reality And we run into our own World of wishful dreams... Thump Thump Thump My heartbeats in my ears Like the loud banging of a trumpet, My legs shaking so terribly I believed they would give out, I stepped forward. My body quivering with fear, I stood. My throat as dry as a desert, I spoke. 'The police will be here any minute!' I said 'You should flee before you get caught!' I said And when they looked at me with suspicious, glaring eyes, 'I am not lying' I said. I was so proud of myself. My voice, It was made of steel. My eyes, They were as hard as granite. They were both Empty of the fear, The uncertainty And the underlying worries Of being caught in my brave lies. They exchanged fleeting looks It was just a flicker of the eyes Flickers they thought I did not see, But they were wrong. These looks... These secret looks Were filled with the same worry, The uncertainty And the fear I felt. My tense shoulders relaxed My heartbeats slowed And I suppressed a triumph grin. I had planted those negative emotions Those doubt filled thoughts in their minds I had saved that poor, poor man From being killed so brutally. For once, I was a hero------ Or was I? I watched As they pummeled him Their bloody fists flying Their booted feet Kicking him mercilessly. I stared At the pools of blood At his face, Scrunched up so tightly Jaw ticking so visibly Features contorted With so much anguish. I listened To his strangled screams His low whimpers And guttural sounds of pain. I watched I stared And I listened But I did not move I did not speak And I could not breathe. Should I? Or shouldn't I? The thought was like a mantra I repeated it in my head. Should I? Or Shouldn't I? With another punch to the gut, Blood spilled from between his swollen lips I winced My gut twisted And sweat beads dripped from my forehead Should I? Or shouldn't I? I heaved a tortured sigh Why was I so cowardly? I had promised myself That fateful night If I ever saw That scary and sad sight again I wouldn't stand And I wouldn't stare I would stride And I would speak But here I am For the second time Being dominated By my own fears Hiding behind a brick wall It was all that protected me But it was also What fueled my hesitancy. I could run. I could walk away. Turn my back. Pretend, I hadn't seen I hadn't heard Pretend, I didn't know the outcome Of this momentous night. Just like I once did... Should I? Or shouldn't I? My thoughts halted As my ears miffed At the boisterous sound Of a tormented scream I turned my head To the wretched sound My heart lurched in my chest As I froze in my spot My eyes widened And a stifled gasp Left my tightened throat The man's body Dead body... Rested on the ground Surrounded By its own absent blood As it lay looking as frail as paper. I propped my woozy head Against the wall at my back As I tried to breath in air And resisted against the urge To empty the contents Of my stomach Too late... I was way too late... Just like I had been before. I had stood there Unsuccessfully Trying to battle my fears As life left his body No, I was no hero I was still the same, An unjustifiable excuse of a man. And as I walked away My head tipped downward in shame Over my overweighed shoulders The same thoughts From that fateful night Ran through my mind... 'I wish I had chosen a different path. I wish reality was a dream. I wish I had a stronger will. I wish I would stop living in fear Of myself Of others And of tomorrow.' (3rd POV - The Criminal's) My head turned To the blossoming Sound of laughter It filled my heart With happiness And brought a smile As big and as bright As the sun To my face. How I loved to hear that sound? It was as magical as music, So soft and joyful. My seeking gaze Settled on the beaming face Of my little midget. Walking up to her I scooped her up Into the protective circle Of my arms. Her tiny little fingers And the warm palm of her hand, That held all my dreams Pressed against my cheek. Her pair of big, round Sapphire blue eyes Looked up at me. They were the window To a soul That knew only Of truth. And at this very moment They stared up at me With love and pride Shining radiantly In their innocent depth. My heart swelled. I was looked at that way By an angel As pure as her. My life was perfect, I was in heaven--- Or was I? Heaven falls right from under my feet As I am thrown back into hell. The piercing sound of a scream Bled my ears with its volume And my eyes... They couldn't seem to see Behind this curtain of red It was as red as blood Maybe it was blood Maybe it was just ravenous anger And violence... It was the only way I knew To feed it. I tightened my fists even further My knuckles Becoming as white as plain paper Pushing against the swollen skin of my hand. Swinging my fist forward It connected with bones Bones that snapped under mine. My lips curled at the sound That sound was familiar That sound, Made my breath shorten, My blood rush, And a familiar thrill Roll through my body deliciously. It made my swings quicken In adrenaline, Anticipation... It was the pleasuring sensation Of power, Of strength. I needed it And I welcomed it With all my might. I breathed it in Like it was air I starved for it Like it was an addiction And it became my cocaine I couldn't quit I wanted more every little bit And it turned me into a monster. I looked at the man's unfamiliar face At his eyes They were growing dull The life that once occupied them, Now parting slowly. I looked down at the knife I had plunged into his gut At the pools of blood Lying by his dying body, Soon to be a rotten corpse. This time I wasn't smiling I was struck by the truth Of what I had become Just like each time... This man, The one I had just killed In cold blood The one I had tortured Slowly and cruelly 'He possibly had a family, too' I thought Like I once had... That's when it really hit me I was no different Than that man I had once called a monster. The one Who stole everything I had, Who stole the single motive I had For living. I looked down At my own bloody hands These weren't just the hands of a man They were the repellent hands Of a killer. I stood on shaky legs As I looked down At the corpse Of my latest victim. There was no more room For regret Or remorse. I felt numb Cold Insensible I was a ghost With no purpose But to destroy people's lives. I was in hell. Feeling nauseous I turned around And looked at the shadowed street, The only witness To my unforgivable crime. And I walked away Thinking the same thoughts I thought every night Of my miserable life... 'I wish I had chosen a different path. I wish reality was a dream. I wish I had a stronger will. I wish I would stop living in fear Of myself Of others And of tomorrow.' |