Taking back Me (pieces)

Taking Back Me

August 26th, 2012 Sunday

Here I am once again, sitting at my table again. This place is so familiar with fond memories of times past. Though in the corner of my mind a damning memory begins to creep out of the dark restraints I had so carefully placed on it. A memory of such vivid emotion causes me to forget where I am and I begin to relive the horrors of the past.
"I wake to the pain of stiff joints from sleeping on a surface far too hard. Quietly I look around searching for any sign of movement. Satisfied that I am the only one awake I gently sit, twisting my head from side to side, trying to force the tension out of my aching neck. Finding no relief I move to my back, arms, and finally legs hoping that something will release some tension and allow me to fall back to sleep. Carefully I extend my legs, enjoying the stretch of my sore muscles. Suddenly the tension is back with a searing pain, damn cramps. I quickly pull my leg back trying to break the cramping and nudge the bed. Fear shoots through my entire body and I freeze, to scared to move. The silence is too quiet as I wait for the subtle movement that would signal my suffering, begging that the silence will remain. A few more moments and I breathe a sigh of relief and begin working the pain out of my leg again moving my foot from left to right in a wasted attempt at relaxing the muscle. I try and scream as I feel the belt suddenly tighten around my neck. Of course it is still there, how could I be so stupid as to think otherwise. I try to pull away but it only makes the belt tighter causing a chuckle to escape the one now sitting up in the bed. I change directions, searching for the source of the laugh, my only chance at safety, knowing it will not work. I woke him; there was no escape from that. I stop dead as I hear the sound of steel vibrating as it is released from its resting place under the mattress, and shudder at what is to come."
Light a bolt of lighting I am forced back to reality by the sound of footsteps coming towards me. I want to run in terror but in opening my eyes I see a regular customer and realize where I am. A little shaky, I get to my feet trying hard to act like I'm not scared. I take the order, get their items and thank them as they turn to leave. I fear for them going, of walking out that door and leaving me alone with my thoughts. Another customer walks in as the prior one leaves and I exhale relieved for the extra time of peace. It's an old customer, a familiar face and one that I am thankful to see. I greet them like an old dear friend and the conversation quickly turns to how things have been going since our last meeting. I am thankful for the positive conversation choice as it clearly leads away from my thoughts. We talk about life, love, and children as I finish bagging up their order. I thank them for coming in, wish them a good day and they leave.