Disaster

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There's a piece of me that says,
"All of me is not enough."
It seeks the secret others know,
and questions why I don't.
It's the worst part of me.

I could be
so happy,
so often.

My prophet whispered,
"Why not me?" but
I was,
and had,
so much.

To entertain my doubt,
I paid the best of what I had.

Now I understand
and hurt,
scarred by shadows of my past.