Are our thoughts of society wrong?

         Nothing I ever dream of will ever come true. And I'm sure of that because no dream of mine is reasonable. I want a successful life. I want to be big in what I do. But I can't be. I will never be. I'll end up being what I fear most. A mom who works at an insurance agency who takes her children to school, and then goes work, picks her kids up, goes home, cooks dinner, and repeats those events the next day. I don't want that. I fear that. But no matter how motivated I am, I will never be successful. I'll never be big.

         Of course, if you asked me what I want to do, I'll just say the oh so common, "I don't know." In reality, I want to be a lot of things. I want to be my opposite. I want to be fit and pretty with perfect teeth. I want to be fashionable and loved. I want to be out-going. Instead, I'm this ugly, chubby, gap toothed, boring, unnoticed, and shy girl. The only features I actually like about myself are my eyes and my hair. The bright side is I actually like something about myself.

         Now, don't get me wrong, I don't hate myself. Nor am I depressed. I think I'm stupid and yet, I'm great at balancing chemical equations and correcting grammar. To some people, that's more than easy, but I honestly can't spell out everything I can do when it comes to academics. All I can say is that I pick things up very fast. I'm also good at playing the saxophone. When I was in sixth grade, my band director said I played like an eighth grader. Even though my subconscious told me she was lying, I still try to tell myself that I'm good.

         Many people could easily look at my thoughts and emotions and say that I'm depressed. But I'm actually quite happy. I just don't really like myself as much as other people like themselves. The thing that keeps me from hating myself is the fact that I know I can't change. I know some things I can and will change, but I'm only fourteen years old.

         To me, if you want to change, that's fine. I will say, however, that everyone is perfect how they are. Yes, I'm acting like a hypocrite, but hear me out. Everyone is perfect in God's eyes. That's all that should matter to us, right? But no matter how many times we've heard this message in Sunday school or church, and no matter how many times our parents say, "You'll always be special to me." Or "I'll always love you, no matter what happens." We never believe them. We never will. Why? Society.

         One thing I've noticed about society is that people seem to always hate it. I have been one of those people. But in reality, you can't necessarily hate society. Some people seem to think society is one big general thing. But it's not. The actually definition of society is 'people in general thought of as living together in organized communities with shared laws, traditions, and values' or 'the people of a particular country, area, time, etc., thought of especially as an organized community'. If you have a small group of friends, that's a society. So saying you hate society is saying you hate every society.

         I understand what people mean when they say, "I hate society." Or "Society sucks." But when they say this, they're speaking of one big society that basically tells us who to be and what to do. I honestly don't understand what this society is or where it's coming from. Almost everyone I know says they hate society, but what are they talking about? What society? If society is the general thoughts and opinions of a group, then what group is this? You want my opinion? It's everyone. It's ourselves.

         You may deny it, but you are a part of this society we all hate. To me, it's a subconscious thing. When we see someone or something we don't like, we either tell our friends, or give off this bad vibe about it. For example, if someone wears something that's odd, everyone talks about it, and eventually that one brave, heartless person points it out to that kid, and no one ever sees that piece of clothing again. Or we hear people saying, "Omg. I saw this girl with this ugly, pink, frilly shirt." So we automatically feel our self-confidence go down. Now, I'm not saying that pink, frilly shirts are ugly. I'm just saying that when a person states their opinion, we all seem to feel obliged to agree in fear of being judged.

         If you haven't noticed, there are some people who just simply do not care what anyone thinks. I have a friend who is like this. She wears spiked colors, she wears all black, her hair is dyed black, and she acts like, well, like she doesn't care. Some people are blessed with this trait. Never once have I heard her say that she hates society. I assume she hasn't said it because, again, she doesn't care. When someone doesn't care, they neither love nor hate the thing. They just let it rest. They leave it to the other people to care about. I'm sure a lot of people wish they could care less than they do. Mainly on how they look and what other people think.

         A lot of people say society has changed to make us care about our appearances or how we act, but hasn't it been like this for centuries? Awhile back, women started wearing corsets. In the Civil War era, they wore about seven layers of clothing. And I'm pretty certain this wasn't for comfort. People have been changing their style for a long time. In the twentieth century, every decade had a different style. Unfortunately, this is the era of baggy pants and snap backs that people seem to make them look cool when really they couldn't run ten feet without tripping over their pants.

         I guess what I'm trying to get at is that we base the idea of society off of the girls in Mean Girls. We think that all those popular, clad in pink, rich girls come up with the dress codes when in actuality, it's us. We put rules on ourselves so we won't be judged. Whether we like the new fashion or not, we still wear it. All of us think alike, so we all create a society.