Tourette Syndrome

Tourette Syndrome
some people believe it's a treatable damn
disorder, a thing in my mind you can drug
and it's fucking done. they see one tic,
one involuntary spasm (it's like i choose this shit,
like i choose to have a fucking tirade)
it's not my fault my brain is not in order.

i try to tell them, it's no damn easy disorder
to have. it's a damn mental dam-
a line of thought that got afraid.
you can't catch it and drug
it, it doesn't work that way. this shit
don't work like clockwork, no tick

tock tock replace the gear its face has a tic.
fuck this, i'm not out of order,
i can handle myself and my own mental shit.
i know you don't give a damn
about me, that's why you drug
me to this fucking experimental freak parade.

i'm not broken, there's no puzzle to raid
so get out of my head before i get ticked-
but i am tic-ed, tic-ing, i don't need a drug
to handle this "disorder"
you label me by, just another damn
name on another damn list of shit-

faced little jerks whose shit
ain't nothing like mine. no parents afraid
to touch their own fucking child, like my damn
problems are contagious. no comforting trigger tick-tick
of a childhood alarm clock that is the only order
left in my life. i can't be drug

out in public unless you drug
me out of my mind first (that's the only way to deal with this shit).
this shit, this headache they call a disorder.
they explain away every tirade,
apologize for every one of my tics.
they don't seem to realize how ashamed i am.

i don't need a damn manmade drug.
this tic is all me, it's how i deal with this lonely shit,
like being constantly afraid i'll lose control of disorder.


(if you find any problems with this piece, please please please message me and let me know, i'll fix/change/remove it asap. i'm just looking for criticism.)