Senseless

Something that should not have happened

Dear Diary
April 7th 2014

It has been another day of doom. I am not sure why I even bother. I wake up and put some effort into the day. I mean I try. I can't help it if I don't fit in. Nobody seems to want to know me. I hate this new place. I hate the school, the town and mom's new job. She is never home. I really don't think she notices how I feel. By the time she gets home, I am sleeping. I wake up and she is gone. When we do run into each other, it tends to be an argument.

I miss dad. I wish he was still with us, and I hate mom for leaving him. She could have fixed it. If she were a better wife, maybe he would not have had an affair. I don't understand adults. They are so stupid! Always pointing the finger at what we do wrong, yet they make mistake after mistake.

“Do as I say, not as I do!” Mom's favourite quote these days. There has to be something more to life than this.

“Zoey! Where are you? Come on I want you down here right now!”

Here we go. Another argument.

“Okay ma! I'm coming. Geez, what is the problem? Why do you have to yell?”

“Listen honey, I am going on a date tonight and I want your opinion on what to wear.”

“A date? Really...mom what are you thinking?”

“What do you mean? I am single and I was approached by a very suave looking young man, wanting to take me out. Why shouldn't I go?”

“You have only been away from dad for four months. Maybe you and dad can work things out.”

“Zoey, you have to stop! Your father has moved on and I have to move on. We grew apart and anyway I am an adult. I can make choices for myself.”

“Okay, okay. What are you wearing?”

“I have a couple of ideas. There is this black dress, or I can wear jeans and a tank top.”

“Mom, wear the dress okay. You are 40 years old. I don't want to imagine you in a tank top with everything half hanging out.”

“Really Zoey? You think I have an old body. Well you are wrong. This body still rocks.”

Wow, am I really having this conversation right now? My own mother thinks she is a goddess to men these days. It really is kinda gross.

“Well what do you think?”

“Does it matter mom? Wear what you want. Do me a favour and don't bring him home this time. I really don't want to hear two grown ups making out in the living room.”

“Oh Zoey you are going to be such a prude when you grow up. You really need to loosen up a little. Maybe you would meet some friends.”

The night goes on as it usually does. Zoey is left at home to fend for herself. Her mother inhaled two glasses of wine before she left. Once her mother was out the door Zoey decides to sit on her computer and turn up the music so loud the windows could shatter. This is how she liked it though. Quiet and no body to bother her. She starts up her chat line. This was the safest place for her to go. Nobody has to see her and judge her. Conversation was fine, but once it comes to facing someone in the eye, she freezes.
As she is reading some of the conversations she gets an alert of a private message.

“Hey”

“Hi”

“What are you up to?”

“Nothing much, listening to music, hanging out.”

“Cool man. So where are you from?”

“I am in California.”

“Nice! Where about?”

“Silicon Valley.”

“So how old are you?”

“21”


“Oh nice! I love the older ladies.”

Zoey goes offline. Why did I lie about my age? Stupid!

The night lingered and to no avail Zoey ended it alone. Just how she started it. It was three o'clock in the morning when Zoey woke up for no reason really and went to the kitchen for a glass of juice. Her mom still wasn't home.

The next morning the house was still empty. Now Zoey was getting worried and called her mom's cell phone. Nothing, not even voice mail to leave a message. She had no choice, she called her dad. His new girlfriend answered and dad was not home. There was no way she could go to school, not with this kind of worry.

Dear Diary
April 8th 2014
Mom didn't come home last night. I have no idea where she is or who she is with. She hasn't even called me to see if I was okay. She is acting so weird lately. I feel like a babysitter on most days. I am the one who is 15. She is 41 years old, what the hell is she thinking. Maybe I will go out and not come home. That would teach her a lesson, or maybe she wouldn't care if I were gone at all. I am so pissed off!!!

Zoey goes into her mothers bedroom. She started snooping around and came across a drawer filled with fancy underwear and creams. She started tossing them out of the drawer, strewing them all over the floor. She was disgusted! She sat on her mothers bed and starting to look at her makeup. She was really just wasting time, so she decided to try on a couple of lingerie outfits her mother had in her drawer. As she was changing she caught site of pill bottles on the floor in a box. She started to read them and one said relaxant. Another was a sleeping pill. Being so stressed out she thought there was no harm in taking one of them to unwind. Nobody would know the difference. She put on some music and went into the bathroom and started putting on makeup.

Geez, how can mom do this everyday. Wash it off, put it on. She must spend a fortune on this stuff. Not bad though. I look pretty good. I look older. This outfit makes my body look older. Maybe I am becoming a woman. Maybe I should try harder not to be a prude.

Dear Diary
April 8th 2014

Well here I am still waiting for mom. She hasn't called yet. I am hoping she comes home soon. I am feeling a little funny. It must have been that relaxant I took from her room. Not sure...

Zoey's mother comes home and she is tired, hungover and goes straight to her room. She didn't notice her clothes on the floor, she just wanted to lay down. A couple of hours later she woke up and walked to the kitchen.

“Zoey! I am back. Sorry I was gone so long, but this guy's car broke down. My phone wasn't charged.”

“Are you here? Zoey! Listen I know you are mad at me but I didn't mean to worry you. Come on down here and lets talk okay?”

Still no response, her mother went up to her room. She was not expecting to find her daughter laying on the floor, foaming at the mouth. She was mortified.

“Zoey, wake up honey! Its mommy. Zoey! Wake up!”

She started to wipe the makeup off her face and wiping her mouth. She was shaking so badly and trying to call 911 at the same time.

Once the paramedics arrived the police were not so far behind them. They started to question her about what Zoey could have taken. She had no idea until the police entered her bedroom and saw her lap top open and read her diary. They went into the other bedroom and found the bottles of pills.

“Mam, what is this?”

Zoey's mother didn't know what to say. They were not what the label said they were. It was a form of an illegal substance. Something she started taking when her husband told her about the affair. Her life was falling apart and she took them to unwind. Now she has to tell the truth, for the sake of her daughter. She didn't even have to say another word. They knew. Before she knew it she was in handcuffs. She was crying so hard she couldn't breath. They wouldn't tell her anything about Zoey. They only wanted the number for her husband.

Three days later...

Zoey's father was pacing in the hallway, waiting for the doctor to come out. The nurses were talking in the nurses station when they heard him scream.

“NO! This cannot be happening! She cannot die! This is senseless!