A Whole new World

A Whole new World

My name is Roland Edward Gauthier Jr.
I was Born on September 5,1967 in a hospital at Bristol,Connecticut and when I turned five my parents moved north to Maine in a city called Bangor.
I am the oldest of three boys,we had no sisters.
So this is my personal story of my life as a child till today.
I grew up in a dysfunctional family and sadly my father was a heavy smoker and drinker and is known for very bad tempers.
Anyhow lets just pass bye all the past horrific details in my life, I have moved on for the better now.
I ran away from home a few times and finally at sixteen I decided to move far from Bangor, I only had 48 cents to my name and it was smack in the middle of the winter, it was a tough choice to make but i did it and settled down in a City of Portland, Maine,it was south of Bangor.
Well Portland was where I thought my whole life would change for the better, it was not that easy as I was homeless and spent many nights in shelters, good thing about it all they had churches that served food 3 times a day so it was not all that bad.
Portland had to be the life changer in my life, it was better than the abuse from my home and the bullies on the streets and schools I had to face nearly each day, it was a nightmare.
Anyhow all this goodness would come to an end soon and no one would be blamed for it but me, I do still give some blame on my parents for they way they raised me and abused me, it just totally threw me way off course of achieving my dreams.
I really did want the best for myself, all the anguish and pain in my life of course I want to better it.
But I failed to see through to my dreams, it was hard for me to cope and deal with all my pains in life, sadly it all withered away.
Yes, I tried to do something for myself but you see, how was an uneducated sixteen year old going to find work? I was for sure under age and had no legal documents to prove who I was and where I am from, I was trying to avoid being sent back home.
So now i am in survival mode, even though I knew how to do some things that I learned and picked up from my dads talent and activity, but it would do me no good,who was going to hire a teen? It was no success.
I am very desperate now, I needed money, food and a place to live and that was obvious to be a failed attempt.
What was I going to do,where was I to go? That would be answered rather quickly, I met up with some shady teens who were homeless and full of problems themselves, actually the city was full of homeless kids.
Most were juvenile delinquents and frequently have run ins with the law,most were shoplifters and drug or alcohol addicts, but they were very nice,friendly and understanding with my pains,they all had their own personal issues. So what was my next attempt for survival?, I got drunk,did some mild street drugs, stole some food and booze from shops and crashed at friends homes or abandoned buildings.
Okay now I have lost control of my life, I lost my dream ambitions, I just lost everything. During this whole crisis i was having an identity problem, I did not know who I was,what I wanted to be or what to do or where to go... I was lost for sure. My road to a great life only got worse,it was just too much for me to think about any more,I was totally out of control with my life, I have become something I tried to avoid all my life.
Well I need to rest now so I can try and remember this whole mess and write it here, its no so easy....

Look out for "A whole new world part 2 coming soon.

Roland Gauthier 5/13/2014