I Created Monsters

I had met this nice young man from my college who has a cousin who was looking for an honest relationship with an American guy, he thought I was a great person and so he referred me to her.
So I went to certain chat room and we connected for the first time ever and it turned out very nice, she was kind,friendly and opened minded, just the type I wanted to be with.
Anyhow as days turned into weeks and weeks into month as and months into years we have grown very fond with each other, the only thing that divided us was a body of water, She lived in Asia and I was in America. But that did not stop us, we just kept on building our relationship until we can meet one day, I know usually there is talk about the failures of long distant love affairs, but this was different, I am sure you hear that all the time as well,but for real she was the one.

Anyhow I made it very clear who I was,and what I wanted in life and I made sure there were no skeletons in the closet, no hidden secrets about me, I lay everything out on the table and came clear about my life, I was in a relationship before and the only way the person was to leave me for another guy was to use the excuse, oh you never told me you were this or you did that or you were here or went there... trust me it was 9 months of misery that finally ended well, except her boyfriend cheated on another gal and she wanted me back, I had to be straight with her, like hell, you put me through so much hell why in the hell would I take you back, besides I have a new successful relationship and I am proudly taken, so please don't bother me about your sad stories, you ruined a good one and you got what you deserved, I am sorry but life goes and and I moved on and I am not looking back for no one. She was very upset and barged out of the door calling me all the bad names in the slang book. Guess I did make a good judgement.
Anyhow in my past I was raised in a family who swore 24/7 just about for everything they can be mad at, it was horrible, lucky for me at the time it went in one ear and out the other.

As years passed and my parents already passed away I started to notice my slang was gone, I was talking like a normal person again, I was happy.
so the next 3 years I focused on all things positive and stayed away from things that was negative or negative peoples, I learned it was too easy to suck me into their conflicts and that is the last thing I needed in my life, so I went on to get my G.E.D. and did some college time and I figured I made enough money from work to buy a flight ticket to Asia to see my gal... The only part for me was it was a big risk that I was taking, but I did anyway's. I dropped out of college, it was not doing well for me any ways, personal issues got in the way of my thinking. I left my job and I vacate my rent and I was good as gone, my plan was a huge step, I was leaving everything behind for a new life abroad.

I ask myself today was it worth it? was it a worthy risk, Hell yeah. I am so glad I made that choice. I been living now in Asia for 13 years, not even once I returned to America, anyhow now that the past is behind me, some things did not stay behind, like my slang, my bad words, my swearing had increased for some odd reason, just some daily stresses and I figure better to swear than to get into any unwanted conflicts. I tell you what the culture shock will be big, you will find it hard to cope with the weather, cope with non English speaking peoples and lets not forget the reading materials. Hygiene is at a all time low here and there are some things you need to be aware of when you are living in a strange country, safety,who is around you, who to trust and not, the foods you eat and the places that serves them, the list just never ends, I think the only dis-comfort I have is the weather and no funds.
You simply cant get a job here unless you apply, than there is the fact a corporate biz that has over 50 employee or more can only hire us, nothing of less status may hire us. And no one wants to hire us any ways, they have this notion why work? Americans are very rich..wish that was true, but not for me. any ways enough of the culture shock and lets move on to being here now over 5 years, in my 5th year in Asia I found myself still trying to learn the culture and language, the culture can easy, the language not so well, I just can't seem to connect the dots.

In 2006 I finally married this lady and we been happy ever since, of course we have our ups and downs, most of its got to do with culture shock and the Heat, the heat will just draw out all the evil that's stuck inside of you, I admit I have a bit of temper and usually follows with swearing words, it's best not to get on my nerves when the heat is 97 degree Fahrenheit or more, having no air conditioner,the shade is in the 90's and the fans are useless, how the locals here cope with the heat I have no clue, its just too damn hot for me, I wanted to be with my love in paradise and I guess it comes with a bit of hell too.
Well now it's 2014 of May and I am sitting in my room thinking about how to write my story shorter when out of the blue my wife had told me a story about her work mates also married to white folks who have a bad swearing habit, I guess after all it was not only me that swore.
Anyhow my wife had said her friends very often swore at each other and its not their normal verbal vocabulary type of thing, But for sure they are cursed with our words, non stop they swear about everything, F-this F-that, she is this or that, I am telling you what they catch on very quickly and its scary to sit back and hear them for the first time using such words, I never knew them swearing in the manner they were doing, usually small time stuff, but not this time, they were so ghetto like swearing and I just had to sit back and just listen, why was I not stopping them? I guess I was afraid they would not understand you simply don't say to the electric company to fuck off, The middle finger here is big with the youth, they have no damn clue the real meaning of it, they just flip you the bird and laugh and say hello, so if you come to Asia don't be surprised to see it and don't take it negatively, they simply have no clue its bad until I tell them so.

And so here is a group of ladies, my wife's friend all using the words and laughing about it, I tell you what, if someone in America told me to fuck off he is going to get a ear full, but here they have no clue it's very bad to use these words, and so I am left with the notion do I explain to them and tell them its bad, or do I just let them be and let them think its good and not fill their heads with any more negative thoughts. My gosh what have I done, I have created monsters.
Well I can't take full responsibility, i am not the only American here, but i did my share of damage and I think there is no turning back, so after weeks of it all I have taken up the slang myself once again, How disappointed i am, I just want to have a stress free life not having negative thoughts, but with the frequents bad mouthing going on it's starting to feel like home sweet home again...What can I do, I am going to do my hardest to stop swearing in hoping they stop too... Just few moments ago, my darling wife said to me Where in the fucking hell is this man going... I was shocked, than she was reading a media post, Oh my God, oh wait I have an idea, I wont take blame and I will blame it on the online media...hahaha
well it's just a short story and i will do my part to end on some parts that I created,isn't it amazing how you can learn about your bad habits through others...lol... Lord I created monsters and now I have to fix it, give me strength, Thank You and Amen.