Karis dash (II)

The first week of school had been successfully accomplished. Well, nobody was stunned by my longer hair or new jeans but it was fine. I wasn't crying in the bathroom of another country, like last year. My friends were simple, as simple as you can get if you've spent all your life in the same place. They were fun, and this year we were all ready to go out and party as much as possible. Well, we'd probably end up watching a movie and eating pizza in somebody's house; but it didn't matter. I was at home and I was loved.

Of course, we people are never satisfied. There was one tiny detail that bothered me... Tom. He had suddenly turned into his old, uptight self. Not that he was rude or anything, he had just gone back to being rigid and uncomfortable around me. So, I went back to my old dilemma. Was he acting weird because I was there? Or did he not care about me at all, and couldn't be bothered to talk to me? It seemed like overreacting. Our past (our meaningless story four years ago), had been forgotten. But my friends' words kept replaying in my head: "If he's over you then why has he rejected all those other girls?" "Why do all his friends keep reminding you that you liked him?"

Maybe they were right. Or maybe, his friends were messing with me and he just didn't want a girlfriend. But, why did he ignore me? It was one thing to walk past me every morning, but to say hi to my friends and skip my name? I knew this was going to happen when I started falling in love with him again. Or when I admitted I had always loved him. In any case, I wasn't going to let my thoughts ruin this year. Either I told him or I ignored everything I was feeling.

When they told me new guys were coming to school, I imagined them after the popular girls. Yet, new girls came in as well. And they had all mixed together like a plague, trying to rule the school. Of course, I tried to be above all this social status drama. However, a part of me wanted to be this exotic, new face all the guys wanted to stare at. Maybe not stare; eye contact makes me uncomfortable.

Fortunately, there was one new friend I had made. His name was Cisco and I couldn't understand how the universe hadn't introduced us before. Cisco sat next to me in class. He came from an all boys' school in the suburbs and we had almost everything in common. We both wanted to go to the same university; we had the same number of sibling with the same ages, exact taste in music and the ability to end up third-wheeling in our friends' dates. He also lived in this amazing building I'd always wanted to visit.

After going to his house on Sunday, he walked me home. Well, tried to. His mother called him in our way and he had to rush back.

I ended up walking alone, when my awaited opportunity presented. Tom was also walking home and he was by itself.

"Hey, stranger!" I needed to be confident.

"Oh, hi. I didn't see you there."

He was still acting edgy. He stepped away like he used to when we were kids, when he was mad at me. A wave of anger and disappointment rushed through my body. But I wasn't going to overreact.

"That's because I'm so small" I tried to laugh but his inexpressive, cold face hurt me.

I guess I take things too seriously; especially people's looks but this wasn't a coincidence. He was still angry with me. About what? I don't know. Possibly our fight four years ago or something I had said... But he was never going to tell me.

"Okay, what's wrong?" I stopped walking and he turned around confused, "Maybe you don't see it... Perhaps it's just me but I can't take it anymore"

My voice was weak and I could feel my cheeks turning red, I had to finish.

"Just tell me there isn't any strange feeling between us. That every time you see me you don't get nervous. That my name doesn't feel weird in your mouth. That it's just me... Tell me you don't feel anything for me so I can finally move on with my life and forget you."

I stopped and breathed, for a moment I could only see his deep, green eyes staring at me. I forgot my rule to avoid eye contact, my head was spinning...

It took only one step. One move and everything was in place. His lips found mine, his hand in my waist. A complete, new feeling invaded my body. My feet were no longer in the ground. My mind was clear.

"I don't want you to move on with your life if I'm not in it" he whispered in my ear.