"L
ock her up" one
guard yelled while the other pushed Phoebe into a cell. Phoebe saw it
all as if it were a memory not just a dream. The brick walls
surrounded her, the cold, grey, concrete floors below her, and of
course the bars; the bars that kept her enclosed within her cell.
There was a flicker of light out of the corner of her left eye. She
looked to her left and there was a mirror. She had brown skin, black
hair that looked un-kept and hazel eyes. She didn't know where she
was or why she was there. She banged her fist against the bars
shouting at the guards on the other side to let her go. Next thing
she knew tears were streaming down her face but they weren't
ordinary tears. They were as cold as ice. She held her hands to the
bars trying to concentrate; on what exactly, she didn't know. The
bars turned icy cold underneath her grip. The guards were shouting at
her to stop what she was doing but she continued to do it anyways. It
became cold in the cell and then everything went black.
She can't
remember anything but the chilling feeling she had before she finally
woke up from the nightmare. She woke up covered in sweat just like
every other night before it afraid to move, but she forced herself up
this time. She tip-toed silently across the wooden floor boards until
she finally reached the bathroom. She splashed cold water on her face
while she tried to recall the details of the dream; grey floors,
brick walls, icy tears, guards, and bars, lots and lots of bars.
Every now and then the dream would become longer as if there was more
to the story; as if she didn't already have all the details. She
looked at herself in the mirror one time, just a quick glance, before
slipping back into her room. She tried to close her bedroom door as
slowly as possible so it wouldn't make any noise, but it creaked
along the way. Once her bedroom door was fully closed she could
finally breathe again. She sat on the edge of her bed for a while
just staring at the blank wall in front of her. She was afraid to
fall asleep again and be brought back to her cell. Her mom used to
tell her that nightmares were just nightmares but looking down at her
bruised arm she could tell that this was no ordinary nightmare.
Something about it felt so real, but she couldn't quite place her
finger on it. Unable to sleep she walked across the room to her desk.
She opened the top draw on the left side and pulled out a black and
white composition notebook. She had begun keeping track of her dreams
to settle her mind. She went to the first page of the notebook and
reread what she wrote before. The dream as a whole began when she was
fifteen-years-old on her birthday, June 28th.
She
was in a field covered in blooming flowers. The sky was the brightest
blue she had ever seen it, and two men stood on the side lines in all
black. She was running around the field laughing and tumbling
uncontrollably. She felt happy and alive and she didn't have a care
in the world. All of a sudden a cloud started to drift across the
sky, covering the sun. After just a few minutes rain began to fall in
heavy drops. The two men in black rushed to her side and brought her
back into a mansion that screamed elegant. The inside was just as
beautiful as the outside, but something about actually being inside
the mansion was magical. The walls were covered in swirled patterns
and the floors were a golden brown. The ceiling was decorated with a
chandelier that must have cost a fortune. The men in black led her up
a staircase at the end of the hall. There were pictures everywhere of
people she didn't recognize, but one picture in particular caught
her attention. The picture was framed and was of two birds, one as
blue as ice and the other as red as flames. She wanted to look at it
a little longer, but her view was blocked by one of the men. When
they reached the top of the staircase she was told to go to her room.
It was the second door on the right. She didn't know how she knew
what door they were talking about but she did. Her bedroom was mainly
red, yellow, and orange. She walked over to her bed and looked up at
the flame patterns on her ceiling and then drifted off into a deep
sleep.
She woke up after
that and went and told her mom about the mansion but her mom
convinced her that it was just a dream and she should go to sleep.
Phoebe couldn't sleep then either so she wrote it down. After that
she would seem to have the dreams more frequent but it always picked
up where it left off and continued from there. It was never the same
dream twice. After Phoebe finished re-reading the last few entries of
her dreams, she wrote down what she remembered about the dream she
had that night and then went to sleep, feeling more relaxed.
When the sun rose
that morning its rays found its way around Phoebe's curtains and
straight on to her face. She woke up trying to swat at the rays but
it did her no use. The only way to get the rays off her face was to
get up out of bed and pull the curtains in a little more. Deciding
that she didn't want to get out of bed she moved to the opposite
side of her bed were the sun's rays couldn't reach her. Before
she could slip back to sleep her mother barged into her room saying
"Rise and shine, shine so bright, you'll compete with the sun,
now isn't that a sight". Her mother always told her little
nursery rhymes whenever she had the chance. She told her that they
would come in handy someday, so Phoebe was keeping record of them as
well as her dreams. "Get up sweetheart" her mother said bouncing
up and down on the edge of Phoebe's bed, "You've got a long day
of school ahead of you. I wouldn't think you would want to be late.
You only a have a few more days left". "Exactly" Phoebe said
not opening her eyes or facing her mother, "I only have a few days
left, so why bother going. I've taken all my tests, I've said all
my goodbyes, and I'm ready to get on with my life". Her mother
couldn't help but smile. "You should enjoy the time you have left
with your friends. This is the last year you will see them so why not
make it count". This made Phoebe feel guilty. She and her family
were always on the move. The longest she ever stayed in one place was
this year, for a year. Maybe she did owe her friends a few more weeks
before she moved again.
"Fine" Phoebe
said looking at her mother ", but I'm walking". She got out of
bed and headed to the bathroom without giving her mother a second
glance. Her mother always insisted on driving her to school because
she believed that it was safer, but Phoebe on the other hand liked to
feel the wind on her face as she walked. She was the type of person
that enjoyed the journey to the reward more than the reward itself.
She washed as quickly as possible and skimmed through her draws to
see what she was going to wear. In the end she picked up a tee shirt
that was completely covered in red and orange flames, a pair of black
jeans, a red bracelet, a black jacket and orange sneakers. She liked
to match her outfits, but she also didn't care much about fashion.
She wore what made her comfortable, not what made others 'thought'
would make her 'cool'. Moving around so much made her not care so
much about other opinions. The only opinions that matter was that of
her mother, father, and of course her own. She threw her notebook and
pens into her black book bag and swung it onto her back. She went
into the kitchen where her mother had already begun making pancakes,
eggs, waffles, and bacon. Phoebe went over to the refrigerator and
pulled out the orange juice. Her mom passed her a glass and Phoebe
poured her orange juice into the glass silently. Her mother made her
a plate of food and set it down at the table waiting for Phoebe to
sit. The minute Phoebe sat down her mother said, "Are you sure you
don't want me to drive you to school today?" Phoebe knew it was
coming so she had no idea why she was shocked when her mother finally
asked her. "Yes mom," Phoebe said picking up her fork and
stabbing it into a pancake, "I'm sure. I just need to have a
little more freedom. I'm 17 almost 18, I think I deserve it."
Phoebe didn't dare look up at her mother's face while she spoke.
She knew that her mother would be giving her the puppy dog eyes.
Her mother lived
to drive her to school, pick her up, make her breakfast, lunch, and
dinner; mainly she lived to be her mother. Phoebe had turned down
party requests, dates, and even just walking around the block with
her friends, to make her mother happy. She felt that the amount of
time she spent in doors was unhealthy. Her skin was starting to lose
the vibrant, healthy glow it once had. When she was smaller she used
to appreciate her mother caring as much as she did but as every year
went back it started to get annoying. "Okay, sweetie," Phoebe's
mother said, "Don't forget, stranger danger." "Mom" Phoebe
said slightly setting her fork to the side. "I know who I can trust
and who I can't. I'm 17 for crying out loud." Phoebe suddenly
losing her appetite shoved her chair away from the table, got up and
walked out of the house slamming the door behind. She didn't know
why she was so mad at her mom, but it seemed like she should be; but
for what? She never could answer the question but she also couldn't
control her temper.
The wind brushed
against her face, while she walked, bringing tears to her eyes. She
wiped them away quick. She hated when tears fell from her eyes for no
reason. She always associated tears with weakness and weakness with
failure. She wiped the right eye and before she could wipe her left
eye clean of the salty tears someone snuck up behind her and said
"Walking to school be your lonesome? Scared? Is that why you're
crying?" Phoebe didn't even hesitate before turning around and
coming face to face with Josh. He smiled at her but she kept a
straight face. "What do you want Josh?" Phoebe asked while wiping
the tears from her left eye. "Just want to know why you're
walking to school by yourself? Did the perfect angel finally do
something wrong?" Josh said adding a small snicker at the end. "I
really don't understand what makes you think that I should give you
any answers. We aren't friends and never were so why bother me
Josh?" Phoebe said in the subtlest tone that she could muster. She
was already upset with her mother and she didn't need to let Josh
think that he gotten the best of her. All Josh was, was a bully. No
matter where she went there was always one, but she never let them
get the best of her. Nobody knew enough about her to truly get her
upset. "Because..." Josh began to say before Phoebe cut him off.
"Because what? Do you think that talking what you call 'smack'
will make you happier? If so you're more pathetic than your friends
say you are".
Phoebe was about
to walk away on this note, but Josh cut in front of her. "You had
better watch your mouth Phoebe! You never know what could happen"
Josh said giving her a slight grin. It was the type of grin that told
Phoebe she shouldn't say anything else.
"Get to school
safely" Josh said giving her a full smile and then walking back the
way he had come from. Phoebe froze for a minute before finally
walking again; this time she walked faster than normal. She didn't
like the glare that Josh had given her when he told her to be
careful. She didn't know Josh well but she knew him well enough to
know that he was up to something; what exactly, she had no clue. It
took her about another 5 minutes to finally be able to see the school
building. When she got inside it was as dirty as it ever was. If
Phoebe could have changed schools she would have, but it was the
closet one to where they had moved and her mother insisted. Phoebe
never really got the chance to do anything completely on her own as
if her mother though that she would crack under the pressure of the
outside world. She had learned better than to ask her mother to do
much because she knew the answer would be no. Her mother was strict
when it came to hanging out with friends in any area that wasn't
their house. Phoebe had decided that instead of having to deal with
telling her friends that her mother was a smuggling, needy,
protective person she just wouldn't make any friends. She tried to
keep her boyfriends to a minimal as well. She had dated a couple of
boys in the past but none for longer than 3 months. She kept these
relationships a secret form her mother because Phoebe knew there was
two different options of how her mother would react. She would either
tell her that she shouldn't have a boyfriend or that she wanted to
meet him. Phoebe wasn't big on long relationships especially since
she moved around a lot.
When Phoebe got
to her classroom she hung up her jacket and headed towards her normal
seat, first row third column. The room was buzzing with the student's
conversations. As Phoebe walked over to her seat she heard words like
'party', 'end', and 'two days'. Phoebe had put two and
two together when she finally got through the crowd and sat down.
Someone must be throwing a party to celebrate graduating in two days.
"Hey Phoebe" someone on the left of Phoebe said while tapping her
shoulder. "Yes?" Phoebe said turning her head to the left and
trying to smile. The person she was now looking at was Drew. He was
an okay looking boy but Phoebe never really talked to him. She always
saw him as the player type and she really didn't need any more
drama than she already had in her life. His hair was jet black and
his eyes were a really dark brown. He wasn't particularly dark but
he was darker than everyone else when it came to his complexion and
his smile always reached his eyes. He always flirted with all the
girls but his current girlfriend for about 6 months hasn't really
seemed to notice. She must be ditsier than Phoebe thought. "I'm
having this party and I wanted to know if you wanted to come" Drew
said giving her the most flirtatious smile she had ever seen, "I've
been told that you know how to party".
No doubt had
Kyle, her ex and also his best friend, told him that. "Look,"
Phoebe said trying to sound as polite as she could "I'm not a
party girl. I don't go to parties nor do I want to, but thanks for
thinking of me." Before Phoebe could fully turn her head back to
face the front of the classroom Drew started to speak, "Okay, maybe
that came out wrong. I just really think that you would have fun and
besides this might be the last time we really get to know one
another." Phoebe could see out of the corner of her eye that he
was smiling at her. "I'll think about it" Phoebe said finally
giving in. "Great. Here's the invitation" Drew said pulling out
a slip of paper and handing it to her "I can't wait to see you
there." "Thanks" Phoebe said giving him a small smile and
taking the invitation from his hand. She tried to avoid touching his
hand, but he seemed to want to touch hers; he took her hand as she
clasped her hand over the invitation. "I really appreciate this"
Drew said looking into her eyes while his hand lightly held hers.
Phoebe didn't know what game he was playing but she knew she didn't
like it. He released her hand and she turned back to face the front
of the class room.
What just
happened; Phoebe asked herself; what's with all the boys acting
stranger than usual? Phoebe pushed the questions from her mind
because she knew in a few weeks it wouldn't matter if she had the
answer to them or not. She was moving and she would be far away from
all of them. She looked down at the invitation in her hand. At the
top in big bold letters it read 'Drew's Party'. All Phoebe
could think was real original. Below the title was the date of the
party which was on June 20th,
two days' time. "Okay class, settle down." The teacher said as
he approached the open classroom door. "Sorry I'm so late. I lost
track of time". He rushed past all of the rows and rows of students
until he got to his desk in the front of the classroom. He set his
brown suitcase on the wooden desk.
His desk was
covered in papers and textbooks from all different subjects; Spanish,
English, Mathematics, you name it, he had it. "Since these are our
last week's together I want us to go around the class room and tell
each other what we plan on doing after graduation." He said leaning
on his desk while looking directly to the window. As if snapped out
of a day dream he said, "Right. Chelsea you can go and then we will
go down your column and up the second column and so on and so forth"
he said while tracing the pattern in the air with his hands. "Well,"
Chelsea began to say, "I plan on going to the beach every day and
meeting new guys" She gave a giggle at the end and everyone laughed
at her. "Okay." Mr. Collins said while smiling and shaking his
head, "Next." As people said what they were going to do this
summer Phoebe dozed off. She only heard Drew talking when he said,
"...Party and then maybe I'll find someone to start a serious
relationship with". Phoebe couldn't help it but she thought about
his girlfriend; whatever they have must not be as serious as everyone
thinks it is. "Very nice" Mr. Collins said giving Drew an
approving smile, "How about you Phoebe; got any plans for the
summer." For some reason everyone turned their heads to her and
seemed to be staring at her with great intensity. "Umm...the usual"
Phoebe answered plainly. "And that is?" Mr. Collins asked. "We
are all curious here". "Okay." Phoebe said with a slight
attitude. "I won't be here next year. I want to have fun so maybe
I'll run away from home and meet a few unicorns and they'll take
me to a faraway land where no one cares about anything. Is that good
enough for you?" The class burst out laughing but Mr. Collins
quickly silenced them and stared at Phoebe as if shocked by her
response. "Did something happen to make you upset?" he asked.
"Actually life makes me upset. I've been playing the role of the
good girl to please everyone else but since I'm moving what's the
point in pretending to care." Phoebe said smiling and sitting
further back in her chair. "Don't worry Mr. Collins. Anything is
possible this summer." "Why is that?" Mr. Collins asked.
"Because..." Phoebe said feeling full of adrenaline "I make the
rules." "Oh really" Mr. Collins said laughing at her causing
the rest of the class to laugh as well? "Then what are your rules
Ms. BlackRose?" "There are none" Phoebe said with no emotion,
"You know how they say, sky's the limit well for me there is no
limit." "Okay." Mr. Collins said looking a little impressed and
then he moved on to the next person. For some strange reason he
didn't hassle any information out if the other students and Phoebe
wasn't sure if it was because they gave him straight answers or
because he wanted to know what she in particular had planned.
As the day went
on Phoebe noted that it wasn't just the boys acting weird it was
the teachers as well. All of them kept asking her how she was doing
and what she was planning for the summer. Some teachers even asked
her how her parents were doing. She knew that her school was strange
but it had never been this strange before. Once the last bell of the
day had finally ringed Phoebe couldn't get to the door fast enough.
She couldn't wait to get home and forget about all the weird things
that had happened to her throughout the day. She walked home so fast
that she couldn't even think about enjoying her freedom. She really
just wanted to get home finish packing up her things and move. She
wanted to get away from all the weird people in her town. She knew
better than to think that running away would solve her problems but
she had nothing to fix here. There was and would never be anything to
make her stay here.
When she got
through the door she kicked off her boots and set them to the side of
the door so that no one would trip on them. She ran upstairs and
straight into her bedroom, closing and locking the door behind her so
that no one could come in while she was changing. Her mother tended
to hear Phoebe coming up the stairs and would come into the room just
as Phoebe was changing and try to talk to her. It made Phoebe really
uncomfortable but her mother never seemed to notice. Phoebe hung up
her jacket in the closet. It was the only thing that took up space in
her closet now. She had already packed away all of her other jackets.
She slipped out of her black jeans and flame covered top and put on
her yellow and red pajamas. After putting everything away and taking
out tomorrows outfit she unlocked her door and ran downstairs to get
something to eat. She had barely eaten breakfast and was hungry after
walking to and back from school. She looked in the refrigerator and
pulled out some milk and reached up on top of the refrigerator and
pulled down some cereal. Before Phoebe could pour the milk on top of
the cereal her mother came into the room causing Phoebe to set the
milk down and stare at her mother. "Hi" Phoebe said, "Is
everything okay?" "It will be" Phoebe's mother said walking
over to the table, taking a seat and gesturing for Phoebe to take a
seat next to her. Phoebe left her cereal and milk behind and sat down
next to her mother.
"How was your
day?" her mother asked in a normal tone. Phoebe just looked at her
for a second before saying anything. She was trying to evaluate the
situation. She didn't know whether to prepare herself for good news
or bad news but she could tell by the look in her mother's eyes
that something was going to change. Her mother would breathe a little
too hard when she was nervous, just like she was now. She didn't
look at Phoebe with the same optimistic, excited express that she had
that morning. She was even trying to avoid looking Phoebe in the eyes
a little bit. "It was fine. Nothing really different" Phoebe said
trying not to give away too much. She didn't want her mom to know
about all the weird stuff that was had happened because Phoebe knew
that she would freak out. Luckily, for Phoebe, her mother wasn't
good at reading signs or reading in between the lines. "Okay. Good.
That's really good." Phoebe's mother said shaking her head up
and down.
Her mother was a
beautiful woman that knew her beauty all too well. Her mother used
her beauty to her advantage any chance she got. Usually women didn't
know that they were beautiful but her mother knew it and flaunted it.
She wasn't like most women. Her hair was dark brown and fell down
to about her shoulders. She liked to keep it short because having it
long would be too much work. At least that's what she told Phoebe,
but Phoebe had always thought that she kept it short because her dad
had like it that way.
"Sweetie" Her
mother said smiling at her. Phoebe knew that something was wrong but
she couldn't tell what it was. "I want you to meet someone. His
name is Hayden. He's coming to town tomorrow and he's an old
family friend. He's around your age and I think that the two of you
would really hit it off." Phoebe burst into laughter. That was what
her mother wanted to talk to her about; a boy. "What's so funny?"
her mother said smiling. "Okay mom." Phoebe said finally subduing
her laughter. "Why are you making such a big deal out of me meeting
some boy?" "I thought that you might get mad at me for, as you
put it, interfering with your personal 'biz'" her mother said
trying to sound laid back. Phoebe started to laugh again. "Mom, no
one says biz anymore. And I really don't care if you want me to
meet this kid as long as I get to decide whether or not I like him"
Phoebe said looking at her mother. "Okay" Her mother said hugging
her. "I think that you'll like him. He's really cute." Phoebe
pulled back from her mother looking at her in shock. "Did you just
say that he was cute?" Phoebe said smiling. "Well, he's a young
boy and he's attractive..." Her mother began. "Your exact words
were that he was cute" Phoebe said. "Well, I was just trying to
get your attention" her mother said smiling. "Yeah, sure"
Phoebe said pushing her chair away from the table and heading back
over to her milk and cereal. As she poured the milk and cereal into
her bowl her mother said, "One more thing. He's a little shy so
go easy on him. He'll be here in the morning and he can walk you to
school if you like" "Where is he staying? Here?" Phoebe asked
putting the milk back and the refrigerator and getting a spoon from
the draw. "Yeah, until we move. He lives in Florida." Her mother
said. "Oh. Okay. Whatever." Phoebe said putting a spoonful of
cereal and milk into her mouth.
When Phoebe was
finished eating her cereal she placed her bowl and spoon into the
sink and headed up stairs to her room. She had yet another long day
ahead of to get through. She laid down on her back and stared up at
her ceiling. What would he be like she asked herself? Would he be
tall and strong or short and weak? Would he be tall and weak or short
and strong? What would he look like? Was he nice? Did he have a
girlfriend? What was something's that he liked to do? She didn't
know why she was so curious about Hayden but she was. All these
questions and thoughts continued to circle through her mind as she
turned on to her side and fell asleep.
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