R.I.P

What if it is our time to die because we make it so?
Because we drive dangerously, love recklessly, meddle in crime. What if no higher power actually chose for us to die and let that be "our" time. Is it just our choices, which eventually lead us to our time of death? This said, children with cancer, the starved, the abandoned, can't be given this explanation. It isn't their time. It is a time that has been given to them. By an illness that kills, by the government that ignores. By a higher power? They wont know till they are gone. We won't.
Instead life is spent wondering what will become of us, why we are here and if there is anything beyond us. We are gripped with emotion that will ruin and make us.
Well, I can't take that.
I chose to void all emotion 'till all is black and forgotten.
Sobriety is my biggest convict of pain.
When it's my time, I believe it will be mine.