Finding Love

FINDING LOVE

So many of us are feeling lost and separated from life; we are moving through the motions of our day to day existence sensing that there’s more. We feel something inside of us that calls for our attention but in the busy-ness we can easily brush aside the quiet, gentle voice of our soul. We are up against others expectations of us, our own internal pressures and conditionings, our imposed beliefs and structures that have come from elsewhere. There is a calling from deep within asking us to listen, beckoning for our attention, attempting to gain our focus so that we start toward a new way of living life. The voice is subtle, you hear it in amongst the normal tracks of your everyday thinking and it asks you to trust, to follow this is your intuitive voice, the inner tutor and the voice that comes from the child within you. Your inner-child that has been buried in duty, responsibility and routine asks you to re-connect.
What is it to re-connect to the inner child? Does this mean that you find your innocence, wonder and adventurousness once again? Is the child within the one holding the wisdom of our hearts? It is so easy to lose touch with the things that stimulate and energize us as we move through our lives, particularly when we are challenged by a heavy schedule; whether that is raising a family, running a business, working a full time job, caring for family or friends due to illness or other restrictions. There’s no shortage of activities to keep us moving at a faster pace in life and we forget ourselves, we begin to feel like half a person running on adrenaline and barely able to relax or take a breath. We might be seen sitting still or lying down but the mind still races giving us no relief from pressure. We can store tension and anxiety and we find that we are tight and sore in our muscles. If we go on for a long period of time continuing to ignore the call of our true Self we can create illness to stop us and slow us down. Have you ever noticed how you have a holiday coming up and just when you thought you’d have a bit of spare time and energy you got sick? We are in the habit of doing. Doing has been the important requirement of life and being busy means you are progressing, succeeding, at least, that is what we believe but is that an illusion? If we were to ask ourselves what the important part of our life was, would we be looking at all the things we were doing?
Our relationships are the real things in our lives. How well we love, how close we feel to others, how open we are, this is what truly matters and this is where we grow and evolve, through our relationships. The challenges we face in relating to others, in being ‘real’ and authentic with others can be difficult if we don’t understand love. If we have known love through our family unit as children growing up we stand a much better chance of succeeding in creating healthy relationships throughout our lives. We are able to be relaxed and natural around others and contribute with confidence and a feeling of security. Our lives feel balanced and whole as we add on things that compliment us.
If we grew up in a family where we didn’t feel loved, whether we were or not isn’t relevant but if we didn’t feel loved, then we begin to reject aspects of ourselves in order to fit others expectations of us and we start to get lost, we start to lose the truth of who we are, our naturalness, our ease of being and we start to try too hard. As we proceed along in life we fall into that pattern, the pattern of over trying and then start to feel anxious, empty and lost.
Love can be badly misrepresented in our lives when we have grown up in an insecure environment. The insecurity may have come from many let downs, rejections or feelings of inadequacy within our own being but however the insecure feelings came to be, with a persistent feeling of not being safe or supported driving us we fall into a neediness that drives us toward seeking love outside of us. We want another person to fill in all the gaps and holes that have been created by our trying to fit and pushing out all we thought was not lovable about us. Love starts to feel like something foreign and we can easily drown the natural essence of love in that deep well of neediness. In reaching out to fill ourselves up we push others away from us as they feel our desperation and it scares them, they don’t know how to respond to us.
Those of us who have found finding love in life to be their biggest challenge are the ones who most need the silence and stillness, the room to breathe and just be, without any pressure or expectation. The time needs to be created for personal space, for contemplation and healing so that the child inside is able to be heard and acknowledged. Loving ourselves means that we are able to be respectful of our own unique needs, our own rhythms and feelings need to be felt and accepted. Loving ourselves means we are able to claim back everything we decided to reject or push down because it wasn’t acceptable or tolerated, it’s about letting ourselves be everything we are in every state, in our unreasonableness, argumentativeness, sadness, happy, loud, quiet, whatever it is about us that we moved away from we need it back and we need to embrace it so that we give ourselves permission to just be that individual that we are. Each of us is unique and each of us is creative and we serve ourselves and others better when we fully accept and love who we are. Those who fit with you will stand by you regardless and those who don’t will move away but in being able to love who we are and relax with ourselves we will attract those to us who are a compliment to us and it will feel easier.
Finding love is an illusion, love is who we are, we have just covered it over with heavier energies that come from trying too hard, masking it beneath weighted expectations and pressure to be more. Love is our essence and the expression of Soul.