Carter and Jack both went through hell and came out the other side changed |
Carter “Do I really have to do this?” “Yes.” “But why?” “Because I said so.” Yes this was how a typical conversation between Natalie, my darling friend of over a decade, usually went. Putting up a fight was generally pointless because when it came to making decisions for myself I was not capable of making the right choice according to most people who knew me. “Nat it’s been a year and a half…” “Which is plenty of time and you’re ready to move on Carter Mason.” She interrupts, confident as always. “My husband died Natalie…Eric thought it’d be a good idea to be the brave guy and stop someone from getting mugged like he was god damn Batman or something and it got him killed.” Yeah it was a bit of a shock for me too. “You don’t just move on from that…” “Look…” Natalie comes out of my closet tossing a few dresses on the bed for me and takes a seat, throwing an arm around my shoulder. “I know it’s hard and believe me I miss the hell out of Eric too, but you need to suck it up and move on or you’re gonna be alone and miserable forever. No more sitting inside watching Friday Night lights and eating three day old pizza wishing you were dating Tim Riggins because Tim Riggins would avoid dangerous situations like that and get drunk or play football instead.” “Is this supposed to make me feel better?” I sometimes wondered what her intentions were when it came to these strange pep talks but she usually eventually got to the point. “Ok not necessarily, but ya know what will? Mike’s bestest friend from Ohio who just moved to town a week ago and is looking forward to meeting you.” I can’t help but roll my eyes at the idea of being set up…again. Because as much I loved Natalie’s husband Mike, his friends all turned out to be pretty damn lame. Like for instance the orthodontist with the lazy eye who collected insects and treated them like they were his friends. Yes they all had names, from Lord of the Rings naturally, and watched Law and Order reruns on the weekends together in his guest room. “Just give the guy a chance, I mean Jack is really sweet and my god is he gorgeous. And yes Mike is fully aware of my crush on his friend.” She squeezes my shoulders tighter, trying to be comforting I know then she hops back up to continue helping me choose an outfit. The thing is, I am absolutely dreading this date. It’s nothing personal against Jack, he sounds nice enough but the idea of getting back out there kind of scares the hell out of me. Not that it matters because I clearly don’t have the option of backing out at this point. “Alright so I want you to text me immediately after with all the details.” She says after about an hour of making me try on every outfit I own. “Will do.” I say as she hugs me tightly then makes her way out of my room leaving me alone with my thoughts. I can hear her leave and then my roommate Justin making some kind of noise out in the kitchen. “Hey what’re you up to?” I shout out the door curious. “I’m getting ready to go out with Greg.” He yells back briefly then I hear him slam the door to his room. The two of us have a strange relationship at this point and sometimes I think he hates me, but that could just be the fact that his face is stuck in a permanent pout. I've known him for like a year, we met at the Starbucks on fifth and after we bonded over our love of the musical Wicked he told me that he was looking for someone to move into his place downtown and the rest was history. Mostly he keeps to himself though and sometimes I want to tell him how misleading his first impression had been. I thought I’d have this adorable new gay best friend who went to see Broadway shows with me every weekend just for fun. Unfortunately that has yet to happen. “Well ok then…” I say as I accept his answer and go get ready since I’m supposed to meet Jack in an hour. Natalie picked out this over the top sexy red dress which I slide into, sucking it in making sure that it fits in all the right places. I guess if I’m going to go out tonight I might as well look awesome. I don’t necessarily feel like I need to impress Jack because I don’t really have much invested in this date but hey it’s been awhile since I got dressed up and went to a really nice restaurant. I might as well take advantage of it right? After throwing on some heels I can barely walk in I stop to look in the mirror for a minute, just double checking that I look okay. I look across the room and spot a photo, the only one my family would let me keep up after Eric passed away because needless to say I didn't handle any of it well. They thought by removing all aspects of him from my life that it’d make it easier for me to move on. As expected they were wrong. “How do I look?” I say as if he were there with me and almost as clear as day I can here him respond. “Beautiful.” I turn as if half expecting him to be sitting there on the bed, wearing that stupid crooked grin I loved so much, but of course I’m all alone and at this point probably talking to myself. Yep. It’s official. I’m crazy. ~~ Jack “Anthony I told you I have to go…” Why did I move to this damn city with this idiot? I love the guy but Jesus Christ. “Look I totally understand where you’re coming from man, but it’s your first Saturday back in the states and I’m just saying you shouldn't waste it with some girl. You should waste it with me and multiple ladies who come with only good times and zero baggage. Come on dude I need a wingman!” All I can do is laugh and shake my head as I search for my keys, hoping I don’t keep this mysterious Carter Mason waiting too long. The last thing I need to do is make a bad first impression. “Listen I get that you want me to have a good time I do, but I already told Mike I’d meet this girl. I can’t just stand her up.” The baggage he spoke of actually didn’t bother me really. She’d been married and her husband died a little more then a year ago, I could handle that. I’ve certainly dealt with much worse. “But I was hoping to use the whole former solider thing to our advantage…” “Yeah I’m sure all the girls will dig a guy with one and 3/4 legs who has to see a therapist every week to deal with the emotional trauma of it all, certainly sounds like the perfect way to pick up the ladies.” I blurt out and regret it immediately. That’s not what I do, I don’t feel bad for myself. Anthony stops for a second, fully aware the he’s struck a nerve. “Man…you know I don’t mean anything by it. I’m just trying to help.” He apologizes and I just shake my head. “No, don’t worry about it. I’m sorry I can’t go out tonight buddy, maybe tomorrow?” Anthony nods but I can see I’ve bummed him out and I’m a little pissed I said those things. I try not to bring that stuff up but sometimes it just slips and I can’t help but sound like I’m throwing some type of pity party for myself. “Look I’m sorry I really have to go, I don’t want Sam to think I’m standing her up.” “Well at least do one thing man.” “What’s that?” “Try to have some god damned fun.” I laugh at his response but he’s right. It’s been awhile since I actually loosened up and just had a good time. Hopefully Carter is willing to do the same thing. I know she went through something pretty intense herself and I can’t help but wonder what she’s going to be like. I honestly can’t recall the last date that I’d been on before my third tour in Iraq, the one that lost me part of my right leg. I certainly wasn’t the same guy anymore but maybe that wasn't a bad thing. Maybe this new Jack knows how to have fun with a girl without worrying about when that damn phone would ring, telling me I was leaving the states again. At this point when it came to relationships all I was accustomed to were expiration dates. I hadn't gotten attached to anyone because I couldn't, but now with this injury I was done. My days as a soldier were over for good so who knows? Maybe I’ll get a chance at a normal, civilian life. The thing was, do I even want that? |