The Telephone Conversation

Hello...hello...are you there Mum...Hello....Mum you've got the phone the wrong way...you're speaking into the ear piece..turn it the other way round...turn the phone around...yes that's better. It's me Paul...your son...your son Paul...yes that's right. How are you?.....I'm fine.... I don't know how Liverpool is I'm in London.....I live here....No I've always lived here....I don't know who's in Liverpool but I'm in London. How's Dad?.....Why is his head hurting?.....you threw tomatoes at him. Well they're fairly soft......Oh I see, why did you throw a tin of tomatoes at him?...you couldn't find anything heavier... when was this?....three weeks ago.....No I know I don't phone very often but that's because when I say I'm going to phone you take the phone off the hook.... yes I know it's nice to have the phone in your hand ready but if you're holding the phone I get the engaged tone.....no I'm not engaged..... I'm not being shy......there is no girl....I was talking about giving you a ring....no not an engagement ring, a ring on the telephone and I said that whenever I rang I got an engaged tone because the phone was off the hook. Now do you understand?......There is no girl!! Listen I phoned to tell you I might be getting a promotion..yes a promotion... I'm having lunch with my boss Mr Reagan tomorrow.. no this is Mr Reagan my boss..... no you're thinking of the American President from years ago...no I'm not having lunch with the American President.... I'm not in America I'M IN BLOODY LONDON.....I'm sorry. In any case the American President is Obama not Reagan  ...no Obama that's his name... I didn't say he was barmy I said his name is Obama. No I'm not having lunch with him either....I'm not having lunch with any American Presidents I'm having lunch with my boss..... I'm not betraying my country....no I'm not some kind of spy.... I don't give a damn what your next door neighbour will think....I'm sorry....yes I know she's been a good friend to you....yes I know she needs a hip operation......well what can I do about it?.... . I am NOT friends with the American President!!!  Look Mum go and get Dad and let me speak to him. Oh and Mum don't put the phone back on the cradle when you go. Mum don't put the.. .. hello...hello...