Bathroom talk

         Do you know that the greatest ideas have been though of in the bathroom - sitting on the toilet, taking a shower, watching the steam move in mysterious ways and ‘bam!’ - you have an idea. Some really famous movies and books have been created thanks to that moment. “A river runs through it”, “Children of the corn”, “Fire down bellow” etc. All these tittles have one thing in common - they all came out of the bathroom. Ok, maybe not, but they sound like it. The reason for this appetising talk we are having is because I am trying to prove a point - it does not matter where an idea came from, all that matters is what rises from that idea. And picking an intriguing tittle, something that does not sound like taking a dump. The people who thought of the tittles mentioned previously may take notes. But to prove that there are more: “Splash”, “The smell of success”, “Wet and Reckless”, there are plenty, but I don’t want to waste your time. By now you may have noticed that there is a thought behind everything I am saying (Hint: the use of “waste” and “behind”).
         Chris sat at the bar laughing at his own thoughts. His gin and tonic in one hand, the other playing with the coaster. It had it’s perks - having a sense of humour. The bad part was that when there was no one to share that sense of humour with, Chris ended up laughing on his own. It happened more often that he cared to admit.
         "What is so funny?" A woman sits next to him. Dark brown hair falling over her shoulders, waving like silk curtains in the summer breeze. Her eyes are blue, like the blue in the deepest, darkest parts of the ocean, almost black and yet in the right light you could see they are blue never the less. Anyone would be immediately enchanted. Anyone would be at a loss of words. Anyone, except Chris.
          "I was thinking about movie tittles that sound like they came out of the bathroom." Most people would have regretted saying that in front of a beautiful woman like that, but Chris knew better. Everybody wants to laugh and as expected - she did too.
          "Such as?" asked the woman and her hand moved to her hair where her fingers started playing with it. Sign number one - keep going.
          "I would not dare speak such ugly and unthoughtful things in front of a person, nay, a creature as beautiful as you."
          "Flattering." smile flashes, eyes close for a second longer that usual, hand stays in place - keep going.
          "I am just trying to find the right words to express my utter most astonishment. It is not everyday that someone like you decides to take a chance and sit next to the weirdo laughing alone at the bar."
          "I have the feeling that the words come too easily to have been said only once."
         "You got me there."
         "I’m not going to sleep with you." hair flips, hand changes - liar.
         "I think you misunderstood my intensions."
         "What are your intensions?" higher pitched voice - keep going
         "I’m just looking for someone to laugh with."
         By the end of the conversation the blue-eyed woman would have heard a smoothly though of description of the way her hair looks like a silk curtain that moves in the summer breeze, how her eyes seem to have a shine of there own rather that reflect the light in the room, because Chris swears - there is not a light bright enough. After two more drinks, three more jokes and one more reference to why he was laughing in the first place, the woman’s panties would have fallen so quickly that the volcano from “Journey to the centre of the Earth” would be envious of the trail they leave.
         "I swear one of the most famous movies have been created in the bathroom!"
         "And what makes you so sure?"
         "Haven’t you heard some of the names?"
         "Well, tell me some."
         "I’d rather show you."
         It doesn’t matter how sophisticated you look, or act. You think that you know yourselves and you would never EVER go home with that guy from the bar, but when the guy is so perfect, when he knows exactly what to say, when to say it, how to say it - your ideals are flushed down the toilet.
         “Push”
         Well, Chris might seem like he is a manipulative playboy but he is actually a poet inside. A misunderstood soul, waiting for the right person - the one that will teach him how to love. You know, just like Christian Grey from “50 shades of Grey”. No. This is not how the world goes. Chris is a jackass. He has a great sense of humour, he is attractive, he dresses nicely, he is even a good friends, but come on, who looks for love in a bar? Alcohol does to count as love. Neither does sex.
         "The unsinkable Molly Brown”
         In the morning, when the girl from last night wakes up, he will be gone. There will be a note on the pillow next to her explaining that he had to go to work, but he didn’t want to wake her up. She will go to the kitchen where breakfast will be served and warm coffee will be waiting next to today’s newspaper. The girl will be so happy of Chris’s thoughtfulness that she will forget that she never gave him her number.
         “The dirty dozen”
         After breakfast she will get dressed and walk out. When she thinks back to that night in a few months or years, she will not see Chris as a jerk, because it was her fault they never got in touch, It was her fault that she missed out on the funny, attractive guy from that night. But eventually she’ll get over it, because it was just meant to be this way.
         “Flushed away”
         In the mean time Chris will realise that he is in love with his friend Jesica, but never seemed to realise it. And it is all just a movie, a story, a book… a big fat lie someone thought of in the bathroom.