Hold On Tight Because We're Falling Down

The Accident

"SCORE!" Nick shouted, jumping in the air. I laughed and did the same thing.
"What happened?!" Christin said, running to the living room. I laughed again and pointed out to Nick who was still doing stupid moves. She didn't say anything and looked at me again and joined me in laughing.
"I'll go get the popcorns." she said and headed to kitchen again. I looked at Nick and smiled and sat down, then he did the same thing. We were watching a Yankees. Everyone said being with us was dangerous because we reconnected with the whole world when we were watching it.
A few minutes later Christin showed up with popcorns and drinks. I quickly jumped and grabbed mine.
"Oh come on!" Nick shouted.
"You must be a little bit calmer when you're watching a game Nick, seriously." Christin said, looking at him awkwardly. He just looked at her then continued watching the T.V.
"Come on." I said, patting on the couch and smiling. She answered it with her adorable grin and sat next to me. We watched the game in a big excitement and shouted every time. Christin tried to catch up but she knew she wouldn’t be like us. After the game was over, we found ourselves screaming and jumping with Nick while Christin was watching us in amusement. But I knew she was also a little bit jealous because we had so many things in common with Nick. But it wasn't going to change anything; she was my best friend in the whole wide world, even though I was head over heels to Nick. Suddenly I felt his arm touching me and felt butterflies in my stomach. His arm was cold, but it made me dizzy. So I stopped and looked at the table where all the popcorns are. There were a few on the floor and a few on the table corners, but our drinks were safe and it was still on the glass, which was an incredible thing, because there weren't any damages.
"WE WON!" Nick shouted for the hundredth time and looked at Christin.
"I know!" Christin shouted, trying to seem like she was incredibly happy.
She hated baseball games.
After all the cheering, me and Christin started cleaning the table while Nick was taking the popcorns and the drinks to the kitchen.
"Done." I said.
"No, no. There are little scraps in there." she said pointing out to the left corner of the table. I rolled my eyes and cleaned them.
"Done." I said and se just smiled.
"Yes, it looks perfect, again!" she said cheerfully.
Did I mention that she was a total cleaning freak?
"Yeah." I said and watched Nick entering the room.
"What do you guys want to do now?" he asked popcorns in his mouth.
"First," Christin said.
"Don't talk when you're eating." I said, finishing her, then giving her a high five.
"Do you guys work on this thing? Finishing each others words?"
"Yup." Christin said as she grabbed the cloth and went to the kitchen. We were alone now, I started making rhythm with my fingers and he watched it.
"What are we going to do?" he said again, I looked at him. "What? I finished eating it." he said.
"I know and I don't know."
"Wow, that's an interesting answer."
"If you really want to do something why don't you find out?" I said, giving him a funny look.
"Okay, what about watching a movie or something?"
"Maybe."
"That's a great idea." Christin said coming towards us and hugging Nick. The view that was from here was really irritating, all I had wanted was to go out from this room, which I couldn't. They were meant to be together, and I was not going to ruin it. I jus sighed and sat on the couch.
"Okay."
They looked at each other and Christin hugged Nick again. I quickly grabbed the pillow next to me and squeezed it with my hands, trying not to make them see it. It was like somebody was shooting me right from my heart per second. Bang, bang, bang...
"Which movie are we going to watch?" I said beneath my teeth, trying to stop the romantic for them but disgusting for me moment.
"I don't know, what about watching a romantic movie?"
"I'm more of in a horror movie mood right now, actually." I said.
"I think comedy would be better."
We looked at each other for a moment, like in the movies where they make dangerous plans and just look at each other like they could read minds, which was creepy, just like this moment. I rolled my eyes and put away the pillow.
"Is there a movie which is sci-fi but also includes romance and horror?" Nick asked, surprisingly very serious. He was stupid, definitely stupid. But it didn't really stop me from loving him.
Christin started laughing but I couldn't. I was not in the mood.
"What time is it?" I asked.
"I don't know, 10:30 I think." Christin said.
"Maybe I should go." I said and stood up.
"Why?" Nick said quickly.
"I feel tired."
"You can stay here you know, this is also your house." Christin said, holding my shoulder.
"I don't feel really well; I'm going to be staying in Melinda's house."
"Staying with your sister? Really?" Christin said sarcastically.
"Yes, I know, shocking, but we really started getting along well."
My sister and I had a huge fight a few years ago, but we started talking after two years later, an do you want to know what we fought for? Over a boy. A stupid, idiot boy. We didn't know Nick at that time. What happened after then? Of course my lovely sister had the boy, which I didn't care now. They were a happy couple until my sister found out that he was a pervert. She was single now, but that boy didn't stop talking to her, actually he became her stalker.
"Good for you then." Christin said, waking me up from my thoughts.
"We're happy for you." Nick said, hugging her side tightly.
"Yeah," I said, looking at her shoulder, then his hand and finally Christin's face, who was looking extremely happy. Then I looked back and realized we were in front of the door now. The final thing I did was to grab my jacket and literally threw myself fro the house.
"See you guys later."
"Bye." They said at the same time.
I swiftly ran to the ground floor. I was outside now. It was raining, but not too much. My sister's home was so far from here, so I called a taxi. There was a little bench across the road. I quickly started walking.
Everything happened in that second.
Suddenly I saw the danger I should have seen in the first place. I shouted, but it was too late. All I could remember was that scream, the lights that were coming from the car's headlights, the noises that were coming from people and pain, a terrible pain. I continued screaming and sobbing from pain from inside.
I was dead.


There's No Hope

Oh Lord, please take me from this miserable world and let me be with you, I thought to myself. I was awake now, even though I didn't know how I fell asleep. I tried to open my eyes first, but couldn't. My whole body was in pain, and there was a sound coming from the unknown machines.
Wait, what machines?
I quickly opened my eyes but regret because of the terrible pain. As I looked where it was coming from, I realized that I was in a bed and there was a serum and it was going through my veins.
"Shawn!" I heard a familiar voice saying my name, as I turned my head slowly for not make the headache worse, I saw five people in front of me. My mom, dad, sister, Nick and Christin.
"Oh thank Goodness!" my mom literally shouted and hugged me. I squealed from pain and she quickly pulled of. "I'm so, so sorry sweetie." she said, trying to figure out what to do.
"It's okay mom." I lied. Then my dad and Nick came.
"We were so worried. What were you thinking?" my dad said, a little bit anger on his voice. I didn't say anything but tried to remember the whole thing. Then I looked at my body which had purple spots and injuries on it. I couldn't even explain the broken leg and broken arm. Then I touched my head with my unscathed hand and realized it was wrapped with a piece of cloth. I quickly looked at my dad.
"A hemorrhage happened at midnight. We were really worried. You were still unconscious, even though they wanted for you to be awake."
I nodded, it was really ridiculous for him to explain them to me.
I tried to sit on my bed but suddenly I realize I couldn't move, actually I held myself from shouting in pain. My sister and Nick tried to help me.
"Okay. I'm okay."
"No you're not. Nobody can be okay with broken ribs." Christin said nervously.
Okay, enough talking about my injuries.
I put my head hardly to the pillow and started crying.
"Why bad things keep happening to me?! Everything's terrible!" I sobbed.
"No it's not, we're here for you sweetie, we love you." my mom said.
"Yes, we'll be there for you no matter what." Nick said. Those words made me a little bit better. I opened my eyes and saw him smiling at me. He cared about me, that was a hope. Then I looked at Christin, who was crying with me.
"I'm making everybody feel worse, aren't I?" I said, crying in silence.
"No you're not." my sister said, holding my hand. I rolled my eyes and started looking around the hospital room.
"What really happened?" I asked quietly, looking at everyone. They started looking at each other. I knew what really happened, but couldn't remember that much. Just the scream, the car, the tumbling and the pain.
"A taxi cab hit you." my mom said slowly. Suddenly I felt someone hit me from my stomach. I had too many injuries, there was only one thing that could happen.
"Will I be confined to bed?!" I asked in shock.
"No!" Christin said. I slowly looked down at my body again. It happened because of him, everything that I felt was because of him, and I was still in love with that person? Could he be that important for me after all those things? No big deal Shawn, you're just not going to be together, it's no big deal... I thought again. I couldn't believe I was lying to myself, I was a pathetic person.
"Ms. Dahl?" I heard a man say, entering the room.
"Yes?" I said, beneath my teeth, the headache was impossibly worse now.
"Are you feeling any better?" he asked as he came closer. I nodded slowly, but he understood I was lying. "Let me check something, please open your eyes widely Ms. Dahl."
I did the exact thing and let him check my eyes with his little light. Then looked at me again.
"It looks better. Now don't be scared, I'll just check your leg and arm." he said the words slowly, looking at me, like he was talking to an idiot. I just nodded, I knew that there would be so much pain, so I closed my eyes then felt my mom's hand on mine again.
"You'll be okay." I heard Christin said. She probably understood that I was in definite pain from my reactions. When the doctor was done, he looked at me and then to everybody in the room suddenly.
"Get well soon Ms. Dahl. There's nothing to worry about. Now if you'll excuse me, I would like to talk to your family and friends." he said. I looked at everybody's face slowly, finally met with Nick's gaze and looked down.
"Okay."
He smiled and walked off with people behind him. A few minutes passed and I started hearing noises. Somebody was shouting, then I realized it was my dad. Then heard Christin and Nick calming him down while my mom and my sister was crying, actually, sobbing. They were talking so loud, but suddenly I heard words that stopped my world and made me froze.
I'm sorry Mrs. and Mr. Dahl, but there's no hope...
I, Shawn Dahl, was nothing now. My world was over.


The Hospital Room

I couldn't believe what was happening to me. There were only two options; first, God probably hated me or second, it was my faith. I was losing all of the things that God once gave to me. I stopped listening the chaos that was happening right beside the door and looked down at my sheet that was supposed the cover my body, but now all I did was to squeeze it and think about the no hope thing. What was it about? Weren't I able to walk again? Or use my arm? Was it that serious?

I looked at the door and tried to understand what was happening while everything started to seem blurry again. My dad wasn't shouting anymore, but I could still hear people crying. I quickly shook my head and tried getting out from the bed.

"No. No. No!" I cried and tried to get out from the stupid cables around me. Of course, it wasn't that easy. The only thing I could do was to fell on the ground, which I did. I shouted in pain and held my face in my hands as I cried harder. Suddenly I heard the door opened and heard everyone calling my name. I didn't do anything but sat there like that and cried. For a moment, there was a silence that could kill me. The only thing I could hear was me crying, just like the others, silently.

Suddenly I felt someone holding my hands and trying to pull them off of my face, as I opened my eyes to see who it was, I realized I was facing Nick. A few second later Christin leaned and tried to hold her tears.

"I heard what doctor said." I muttered slowly and looked down, still in a shock. It was going to change my life, in a really bad way.
"We should lift her up." Nick suggested and quickly grabbed me from the ground and with my dad's help and with a pain; I was finally in my bed.
"Ms. Dahl," the doctor came with papers in his hands. I didn't say anything but reached out for my mom's hand and squeezed it. I'd never thought I could need someone, just one person to be next to me like now in my entire life. The doctor continued,
"As you can see, you got through a though car accident and there are some bad injuries in your body..." I wanted to tell him that I knew what he was talking about, but a part of me told me to stop and just listen. "To be clear, there is coagulation in your left leg and there will be problems in your leg when you walk, run, and dance or try to make moves like that."
"So, I..." I felt something in my throat and could feel my chest and spine was burning. It was so hard for me to say those two words, I felt like when I say it, everything could get worse in a second. "...can't walk?" I gulped and tightened my eyes for a minute to not see what would happen next. Again, there was a silence, but then the doctor cut it off.
"Well um, for about seven or eight months, you won't be able to walk, but meanwhile you'll be taking physiotherapy. That will help you recover, but of course it won't be the same for you." The word 'but' really annoyed me for a moment, I didn't know it could make you suffer. In another way, the doctor was trying to tell me this in a polite way. Did he really think it could actually help me get over the facts and be happy again? No way.

I wriggled in the bed and sighed heavily as I wiped my tears away from my cheek and tried to stop the others from coming. My eyes rolled on Nick's face for a moment, a few second passed while we looked at each other, then I looked at Christin who was holding Nick's hand and looking at me with an awkward smile on her face.

"It'll be okay, honey." my mom said suddenly and rubbed my back.
"He said it won't be the same mom!" I nearly shouted, a sudden anger rushed through my veins, my brain, my body... It was taking over me, I wanted to break something, to watch and hear something crash, to hurt. I wanted to get rid of this cables, this hospital and be alone. It had to be the last thing that I should need but it was probably the best for me. A few seconds ago all I wanted was a person who could be with me, but now I literally hated everybody in the room, including Nick.

I looked at my mom and gestured her to stop rubbing my back and groaned.

"No. No." I shook my head and watched as the tears fell down to my cheeks; I guess I couldn't make it stop.
"Shawn, it's not like you're alone, we're all here for you. You won't be alone." my sister said coming closer.
"You don't see the point! Oh my God!" I shouted and groaned. "That's the last thing I would ever wish for! I need to be alone!"

They all paused for a second and looked at each other then me blankly.

"No need to worry, Ms. Dahl is still in a psychological shock. The sudden reactions are because of that." the doctor finally spoke. I didn't say anything, just closed my eyes and prayed for everyone to go away. My back started hurting in that moment; I grabbed the beam of the bed and squeezed it.
"I want to be alone."
"Maybe I should be here honey, in case if you need something."
"I have a mouth, I can call you if I want something," I said, still my eyes closed. "I want no one." As I said that, a few seconds later I heard footsteps and the door opening and closing. After I was sure everyone was gone, I looked out from the window and cried quietly while playing with my fingers. My hands were still shaking. I could feel my heartbeat pounding through my palms. What was I going to do? What would happen next? Would I be able to walk again? Suddenly I heard a knock on the door.

"Can I come in?" I heard the voice that made my heart pound so fast that it could fly away. I didn't say anything but looked. Nick came in, Christin behind him.
"Shawn, I just wanted to say, um," Christin spoke. "We'll be always next to you no matter what. We are like a family, you know."
"We would do anything for you." Nick finally said. The burning feeling in my spine and throat started to go away a little. I was relaxing a little and feeling sleepy, so I just nodded and turned my head to the view from the window. The last thing I remembered was Nick, Christin, the door closing and the beautiful view.