Take a sad song and make it better pt 5

JACK
“So you had a date the other night? How was that?” I am trying to listen as my therapist asks me pointless question after pointless question but I won’t like I want to get the hell out of there. I just don’t see the point it’s not like all this therapy is making those dreams go away.
“The date went well.” I state bluntly, answers always short and to the point. Maybe if he knows I don’t want to be here he’ll just write some sort of bull shit on my record and I can be cleared for duty. I know there’s men who’ve reenlisted with a prosthetic limb and they’ve done perfectly fine. It’s this damn shrink though, he seems to think I’m not fit to serve my country anymore, which is a load of crap. Sure I went through hell my last tour, but it won’t prevent me from going over there and doing my job.
“You said her name was Carter right? What’s she like?” I roll my eyes as I try to ignore the food stuck in the old mans teeth. He must have had some type of green vegetable for lunch because right now it’s all I can notice.
“She was nice, I liked her.” This was true and the fact that we’d spoken almost every day since that date was a good sign, but I don’t want to talk to him about that. Frankly it was none of his business.
“So it went well?” I clutch the couch tightly, growing impatient wondering what the hell this has to do with anything.
“What is this, man? What does this have to do with getting me back in the army?” I lean forward resting my elbows on my knees and running my hands through my hair trying to keep my cool. It’s not really working though because I can feel my leg begin to bounce up and down which I only do when my patience is wearing thin. The therapist, Dr. Ronald Alberdine, looks at me over his glasses skeptically, both of us aware this isn’t going so well, but I just want out. “Look I just want to know how talking about Carter is going to make any difference at all…” Dr. Ronald takes a deep breath and then leans back in his chair, placing his notebook on the table beside him. I get the sense he’s getting impatient too. We’ve been sitting here for nearly an hour and I’ve said basically nothing.
“Jack if you don’t want to talk about Carter we don’t have to. How about instead we go over those nightmares you’d mentioned…”
“No.” I stop him before he even begins because I absolutely refuse to go down that road. I was in a generally good mood this morning after Carter sent me that stupid Youtube video that apparently I’d missed while in Iraq, the one with that kid who’s brother Charlie bit his finger. It’s crazy what people find amusing these days, but in all honesty it was kind of adorable. I had plans tonight though with her and Anthony, so I’d rather not be all moody and depressed because my stupid therapist wanted to dig into the dark stuff. “I’ll talk about Carter.” If that meant he’d shut up about the damn dreams then I get I’d just go along with it. I mean it’s not like I don’t have a lot to say when it comes to this girl. She’s gone from a total stranger to a huge part of my life in a matter of a week. “What do ya wanna know?”
“Well tell me about her, what’s she like?” He asks like he really gives a damn but I just go with it if it means I’ll be able to kill some time.
“She’s awesome, beautiful, hilarious and I like spending time with her.” I say realizing I haven’t really discussed any of this with someone yet.
“You mentioned she’d gone through some tough stuff as well?”
“Yeah her husband died last year, and she’s had a hard time with it, but I get it. I get why she would want to just hide in her room and never leave…”
“Have you felt that way before?”
“Sure, who hasn’t, but she’s a lot stronger then she realizes. I’ve spent a lot of time with her, neither of us are working right now so we just kind of roam around the city most days. She thinks she’s this sad depressing person to be around but she’s the total opposite. She had me laughing so hard the other day…” I smile thinking about her running around my room because there was a freaking spider on the wall. Ok maybe I was laughing at her and not with her, but it was entertaining all the same. “I just like being around her. She doesn’t make me feel like I need to talk about anything I don’t want to, there’s no pressure there to be normal or whatever the hell I’m supposed to be right now.”
“Why do you feel that way?”
“What way?”
“Like you have to be normal?” I pause at the question trying to figure out if I even have an answer. I don’t. I have no idea why I feel like I have to be that way.
“I just do.” That’s how our session ends because I have nothing left to say and our hour is up. I am incredibly thankful because I couldn’t really handle any of that anymore. I needed to get out and call Carter, since apparently according to my texts there was something urgent she needed to ask me. “Hey what’s up? What’s so important?” I ask after I dial her number while hopping in a cab.
“Is Anthony allergic to nuts because I want to make these awesome peanut butter things and I don’t want him to like die from some allergic reaction.” She blurts out in a panicky kind of voice and I can’t help but shake my head and laugh.
“No peanut allergies that I’m aware of no.” God she was so nervous and it was pretty damn cute. I knew she wanted to make a good impression and it was clearly important to her. “Make the peanut things, he’ll eat them. He eats everything.” I tell her and I can hear some type of loud bang in the background. “Just try not to burn your apartment down ok?” There’s silence and more noise then I hear Carter drop an f bomb, “Everything alright?” I ask knowing I should probably tell her to quit while she’s ahead, though I doubt she’d listen. She’s a little on the stubborn side.
“Yep I’m good!” She shouts though it sounds like she’s far from the phone. “I’m good, mhmm…I might be a little late though and the peanut butter things might turn into a bought cake from the bakery down the street.” She says a quick goodbye then we hang up and I can’t help but laugh. I know she means well but cooking I’ve learned is definitely not her strong suit. I told her repeatedly she didn’t have to bring anything to dinner, but after I told her what an awesome cook Anthony was I get the sense she wanted to bring her A game, make sure he has no choice but to like her not that there’s even a doubt in my mind that he will. That’s when the googling began, and she searched and searched until she found the right recipe. It didn’t matter what I told her though she was determined to make something awesome. However it didn’t look like that was going to work out, so I texted her quickly and just recommend a bottle of wine. Anthony loves his booze. She answers right away with a “Oh thank god because this peanut butter thing is currently on my kitchen floor.” I laugh out loud catching a sideway glance from the cab driver, but shake my head again. I shouldn’t have expected any less, she certainly is something.
~~
Carter
“What on God’s green Earth are you doing out here Carter?!” I hear Justin shout from his bedroom when the sound of a plate crashing echoes through out the whole apartment.
“Sorry! I’m cleaning it up I swear!” I shout back as I carefully attempt to pick up the shattered glass that lay on the floor. I do my best not to get hurt but in a matter of seconds I’m cut and bleeding. “Son of a damn bitch!” I yell at myself regretting my decisions immediately. Why the hell did I even try to cook? Josh was the cook, hell he went to cooking school, it wasn’t a skill I needed to acquire.
“Jesus Christ what are you doing?” Justin runs out into the kitchen helping me as we rush to the sink to rinse off the cut. I shake my head and inhaled sharply as the pain settles in.
“I was trying to make these stupid peanut butter things…” I motion towards the kitchen counter which is covered in flour and other various ingredients. Justin stares at me a second, no surprise on his face whatsoever.
“How many times have I told you if you want to cook you need some type of adult supervision. You’re like a toddler in the damn kitchen.” It’s kind of cute because I do hear a little concern in his voice which I don’t expect given our strange relationship.
“You know what that’s not a very good comparison. I once met a three year old who could make these awesome cookies and even a freaking pie.” I say trying to prove some type of point with my useless information and I see him crack a smile.
“God you’re weird.” I swear he laughs as he says this so I don’t think it’s really an insult. Maybe I’m making progress with the guy. Maybe he doesn’t totally hate me after all. “Why are you even trying to cook anyway? Does this have anything to do with that sexy ass guy you keep bringing around here?” I knew it was only a matter of time before Justin had some questions about Jack and I mean ok I had some questions myself. “Are you finally getting some Carter? Because it’s about damn time.” I roll my eyes wishing this was not our current topic of conversation. I barely know how to talk the guy about normal things let alone this strange yet wonderful relationship I’ve managed to form after one gigantic mess of a first date.
“It’s not like that…we’re just friends.” I say pulling my hand from his and searching the cabinets for s Band-Aid, or several.
“Really? Friends spend the night?” He sounds a little bitchy but I know that’s just his general tone most days. I can’t tell if he actually gives a damn though or just wants some gossip. He’s a hard one to read. “More then once?” Shit. I was unaware he knew about that. That’s a little trickier to explain.
“We fell asleep watching a movie that’s all.” It was partially true but damn it I asked him to stay again. He agreed though a little reluctant but I got the sense it had nothing to do with me but more with those nightmares he has. The second time though there he did have bad dreams he didn’t wake up shaking and freaking out, he seemed peaceful as I watched him sleep that morning, slowly opening his eyes to see me staring like a weirdo. He didn’t seem to mind, he smiled even and gave me this incredibly sweet kiss that I didn’t know how to react to. It was the first time we’d kissed without alcohol involved. It wasn’t that I didn’t like it, I was just still pretty confused about everything. “It’s no big deal.”
“Yeah ok.” Justin says picking up a few more things, sort of a neat freak about his kitchen. “Please just try not to destroy the place because I’m having people over tonight and I’d prefer it to look like a kitchen and not a war zone.” Once he’s gone I do my best to pick up the pieces of my wasted venture into the wonderful world of cooking. It is pretty much a disaster and I wonder why the hell I even did this in the first place. I mean ok yes I want Anthony to like me. He is one of Jack’s best friend and if he doesn’t like me then what? It’s not like I think I’m hard to like or anything but I can be a little weird and sure Jack gets a kick out of it now, but what I Anthony points out that one thing that changes that? Most of my friends and Eric knew me for years, and I know at some times they just put up with me because they know that’s just me. They’ve accepted my flaws, but Jack, I just don’t want to do anything to mess this up and if that means making his friends like me then I’ll do whatever I need to do. Even if that means injuring myself in the process, which is apparently inevitable at this point. I guess they’re my version of battle wounds. Yeah I probably shouldn’t say that at dinner considering my audience consists of people with actual battle wounds. Jesus Christ this night is going to be a mess.
~~
Jack
When I finally get back to the apartment I am surprised and slightly confused by the fact that the place is decorated from top to bottom as a Mexican themed fiesta. I shout for Anthony but all I hear is very loud music, which sounds like the soundtrack to La Bamba blaring from the speakers. Jesus Christ what the hell did I get in to? I just asked him to have a dinner not a freaking trip south of the border.
“Anthony what the damn hell?” I ask when I finally find him in the kitchen cooking up a storm. It looks like its going much better here then a Carters and frankly it smells amazing. Anthony turns around smiling as wide as he possibly can.
“Hola amigo!” He shouts excitedly. “So what do ya think?” His face is lit up like a little kid asking if mommy and daddy are proud. I run my fingers through my hair anxiously, not necessarily sure how to answer the guy.
“Um it’s very…festive…” I say choosing my words wisely. Sure the guy was a trained soldier but he was weirdly sensitive about this kind of stuff. Sometimes it felt like I was living with my mom. “I just sorta thought this was gonna be like a normal, simple dinner.”
“Hey you like this girl right?” He asks reaching for a sombrero and placing on top of my head.
“Si.” I respond trying not to laugh but I can’t help it, I know I look ridiculous in that damn hat.
“Then we are gonna show her a good time and nothing says a good time like a motha fucking Fiesta complete with Pinata.” Oh wow. I turn my head to see the multicolored donkey hanging in the doorway and I crack up. I can’t help it, it’s so ridiculous and I have a feeling Carter is going to actually get a kick out of it all too. If there’s one thing she has it’s a good sense of humor. “Now Senor go make yourself look like a handsome son of a bitch so you can woo this girl properly. I know you said she’s a little hesitant about being more then friends but after tonight, she won’t be able to resist you buddy. You know I’m the worlds best wingman right? And hey I told a few people to come over a little later, Mikey and Nat and some friends so we can have a real party.” I reach my hand to my face, rubbing my forehead trying to hide my aggravation that suddenly reappears from the damn therapy session but Anthony seems to pick up on it right away. “Rough day brother?”
“You could say that.” Anthony lifts his arm and gives my shoulder a quick squeeze then slaps me on the back.
“Well soldier you need to suck it up and get it together cuz your girl is gonna be here in less then an hour. You got this ok?” I sigh and listen to every word Anthony says knowing he’s right. I’ll be alright, I tell myself repeatedly as I search the fridge for a beer.
“I got this.”
“Exactly, that’s the spirit.” He says clinking his beer bottle to mine and I force a smile. It’ll be fine, Carter will be here soon, I’ll be ok. This is what I tell myself as I chug a little more of the beer and head to my room. I’m a little tired honestly because of course I got very little sleep last night. After I stopped talking to Carter about god knows what we hung up the phone and I tossed and turned for hours until I just gave up when the sun began to rise. Then I spent half of my morning again talking to her some more and going for a run in the park. It helped clear my mind a little but then that damn shrink just got under my skin again. That is how most of those sessions have gone so far, he asks questions and I get aggravated. I’m starting to wonder what the hell the point is. It’s not like it’s doing me any good.
I plop down on my bed and stare at my phone for a little bit trying to keep my mind off of all that crap. It’s not quite as easy as I’d like it to be because it looks like I’ve gotten an email, and of all people from my dad. Things with he and I are rocky to say the least and this is the first form of communication we’ve had in months. Sure it could be because of being in Afghanistan in the middle of a desert he had no way to get to a phone or computer, totally possible, but it could also be because of the fact that the last time we spoke, right before my platoon got blow to hell and I lost part of my leg, we got in a huge fight. My tour was supposed to be up in less then a month and then I was done, my commitment to the army was over and I was going home for good. I was kind of excited really but when I told my dad his first reaction was a simple. Why the hell would I want that?
He couldn’t seem to grasp the idea of not spending your entire life in the military and we just didn’t see eye to eye. I have to wonder what the hell he actually has to say because I know for a fact it’s not going to be any sort of apology even after everything I’ve gone through. He would just tell me to suck it up soldier, losing a limb and your friends is just part of the job. The thing is, if that’s part of the job, then why did I choose it? What does that say about me? Before I can ponder these thoughts any longer a text pops up from Carter telling me she’s on her way and mentioning some type of battle wound she received from cooking. I can’t help but laugh and simultaneously hope she didn’t actually lose a limb trying to make some stupid peanut butter things. Last thing we need are two amputees bringing this dinner down.
I hear Anthony in the other room singing along to what I am pretty sure is “Hero” by Enrique Ingleaseas and though I have to laugh I am a little curious as to why he’s putting such an effort into this dinner. Sure he’s always loved an excuse for some type of over the top party, but it was only a week ago he wanted me to come out and be single with him. Why did he all of a sudden want to play matchmaker? Something felt kind of off about the entire situation and as I scrolled down my Facebook feed I spotted a fellow solider mentioning that he was heading back overseas next month and I couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt knowing that it was going to be him and not me. After I thought about it for a second longer I had to wonder about Anthony again. Was he trying hard to make things work with Carter because I’d need someone when he was gone? Was he getting deployed again? I mean he finished his tour, he was done, but there was always that chance that they’d pull his name randomly out of a hat and he’d be reeled right back in.
My curiosity got the best of me as I tried to stare at my phone a little longer, thinking maybe I should just read my dad’s email, but I chose to call Carter instead.
“You couldn’t wait twenty minutes to see me Jack? I mean I know I’m awesome but you must really miss me…”
“I do.” I say even though I know I sound a little crazy. I shouldn’t let myself get attached to this girl the way I am but I can’t help it. Just the sound of her voice puts my mind at ease. It really doesn’t make sense.
“Well…I’m gonna be there soon.” She says and I can almost hear that smile through the phone and I sigh, the two of us staying quiet just listening to each other’s breathing.
“Good.” I finally say and though I don’t want to hang up I don’t want to scare her away. “I’m glad.”
“Is everything ok Jack?” She asks and I can hear the worry in her voice which is exactly what I didn’t want. I don’t need to add drama to her life, she doesn’t need that.
“Yeah, I’m good. It’s just been a long day and well I wanted to talk to you.” I say wondering why I am acting this way. I mean I know I’m going through some shit, but I can’t even talk about it, so why concern her. “I’ll see you in little bit.”
“Okay, see ya soon.” She says and I listen as I hear the click and she’s hung up. Part of me wants to get up and confront Anthony but I’m afraid. I don’t want to know the truth, hell maybe he did just want to throw a damn fiesta because why the hell not. Nope that can’t be it. I stand up and rush back into the kitchen unable to control myself, I need to know.
“Anthony…are you going back?” I blurt out and he turns around from the stove in that damn sombrero wearing a genuine look of confusion.
“What’re you talking about man?” He responds but it sound like he’s full of shit so I call him out on it.
“Dude, seriously did you get the call? Are you going back to Iraq?” The fear in my voice is clear and I can see Anthony grow concerned by my reaction. I can’t control my emotions and it’s a pain in the ass. I’m angry and scared and it’s showing. This is not the way I’ve been trained to behave.
“Jack my man you need to calm down ok. No. I’m not. I’m just making us a nice dinner so we can have some fun. Relax ok?” It almost seems like he’s grown afraid of me, of what I might do as he raises his hands in the air like he’s surrendering. I don’t get it until I realize the stance I’m in, the way I’m gripping my fists tight and am barely breathing. “It’s all good brother.” He places a hand on my arm and I flinch, then finally breathe. “That’s it, you’re good. Ok?” I unclench my jaw, and my fists trying to shake off the tension reaching for the bottle of tequila sitting on the counter. “Hey just try this instead.” He hands me a bottle of water and I know it’s smart, but damn it I want that tequila. I look down and see that the hand holding the bottle is shaking, so I put it down and grab the water.
“I’m sorry.” I say realizing how weird I’m acting but Anthony just shakes his head giving me a pat on the back.
“You’re ok buddy. Just be cool, ok? Carter is going to be here soon, you don’t want to turn into the incredible hulk when she gets here right?” I shake my head because it’s true. I don’t want her to see me that way. I’ll scare her away and right now she’s the only good thing in my life. Seconds later there’s a knock at the door and I try to let it all go. “We’re gonna have fun, right amigo?” He says and though I’m not really sure of how this evening is going to go I nod anyway trying to mirror his enthusiasm.
“Right.”
~~
Carter
That was a weird phone call right? Something about his voice seemed off. I mean I knew he had to go to see that therapist today but I get the sense that though he plays it off like everything is ok, there must be something that’s still bothering him. Why else would he have those dreams? The thing is, I tell myself as I sit in the cab, it’s way too early in this relationship or whatever the hell it is for me to even consider bringing this stuff up. I know after I lost Eric I didn’t want to speak to anyone. I just wanted to hide in my room, hell most days I still do, but I know what we went though was different. I lost someone sure, but lately I’ve been getting the feeling that what happened before Jack came home was pretty bad. He doesn’t know it because I didn’t tell him, but he spoke in his sleep again the other night and I could see how afraid he was, how tense his body got and he just kept repeating “No” over again.
Though I was a little afraid I just draped my arm across his chest, pulling him closer, hoping that my touch would help him relax. Much to my relief it did work a little bit because the noises he was making stopped. All I could tell myself that night was to hold on and don’t let go, don’t let him slip back into whatever hell he was going through. We had known each other for such a short period of time but part of me just felt this urge to protect the guy. I still wasn’t sure what from, but I knew he was going through something pretty rough. The strange thing was though, by me having these feelings for another person, I’ve sort of been able to avoid my own issues. It’s like Jack’s been a distraction, a good one sure, but it doesn’t change anything. I still miss Eric every god damn day, so much sometimes I can’t breathe, but I think having a new perspective on everything has been good for me. Jack’s the only one who isn’t saying I need to move on. It’s like this weird form of acceptance I’ve kind of been searching for, I think.
There are just so many things I still don’t know about the guy, so that conversation, though brief, kind of set my nerves on edge. I don’t want him to get invested in this, in me, because I’m not sure I’m ready for anyone to feel that way about me yet. I just know that I like being around Jack and that is all that matters right now. It doesn’t matter how hard Nat tries to push this thing further, or Mike tells me how much Jack likes me, we have to take this at our own pace or it’ll just get ruined before anything even begins.
“Thank you.” I tell the cab driver as we pull up outside of Jack and Anthony’s place downtown. After giving him his money I slide out of the car into the extremely humid night. I love summer, but my god it’s only June and I already want to go back to winter. I hate being hot, so I move quickly making my way into the building the guys buzzing me up right away. I stop and do a double check in a mirror in the hallway making sure my face isn’t too red from the heat and hair is still in tact. I’m good to go so I head up the stairs to their floor, which is sort of a hike, but it takes my mind off of the worry I’m feeling. I just want to have some fun tonight, we don’t need a repeat of that first date. No mental breakdowns I hope.
By the time I reach their place I am slightly out of breath and fully aware of the fact that I no longer look as good as I did when I looked in that mirror. I reach for the pony tail on my wrist and pull my long ass brown hair up so it’s off my neck which is already sweaty. Then after checking the bottle of wine in my hand is alright I knock on the door. I hear shuffling on the other side and muffled laughter then it swings open to reveal Jack and Anthony, both in these ridiculous sombreros wearing the goofiest grins, I can’t help but crack up in confusion.
“What the hell is this?” I ask as I watch Anthony whip out another hat and place it on top of my head.
“Don’t worry we got you one too.” I see Jack cracking up as his friend’s slips an arm around my shoulder pulling me inside and introducing himself. “Welcome to mi casa Carter, me llamo Anthony and it is a pleasure to finally make your acquaintance.” He says all smiles and I can’t help but laugh when he lifts my hand and kisses it softly. When I look around their usually plain apartment I am sort of shocked to see it transformed into something that looks like we’ve stepped south of the border. It’s cheesy as hell but kind of amazing and I immediately spot the piñata in the doorway.
“Holy crap tell me that’s not just a decoration.” I say without thinking and rush over towards it searching for some type of smacking device.
“Carter that is in fact real and filled with a shit ton of candy my friend.” I hear Anthony say but I’m just sort of lost in how awesome this information is. I know it sounds weird but I love piñatas. Almost every good memory I have as a kid involves a freaking piñata. “See man I told you this wasn’t too much.” I turn around at his word smiling like an idiot I’m sure, but I don’t care.
“Too much? Dude it’s fucking awesome.” I respond laughing excitedly like a little kid. Jack smiles at us both and shakes his head.
“What do I know right?” He shrugs and I pick up again on that tension I’d felt from the phone call.
“Hey Anthony?” I say still looking at Jack, my excitement turning right back into concern. “Do you think I could borrow Jack for a second?”
“Be my guest. I have to go check on the food anyway…” He responds still grinning widely and as he moves past me he stops to eye the two of us suspiciously. “Just save the hanky panky till after dinner ok? I don’t want you to ruin your appetite.” I can’t help but crack up as he leaves us both and Jack just sighs loudly, smiling slightly and removing my hat as Jack follows my lead.
“Is there somewhere we can talk alone?” I ask because I don’t want him to feel uncomfortable, like I’m calling him out or something in front of his friend because I have zero clue what Anthony knows about at this point.
“Sure, the roof alright?” I nod and I watch as Jack holds a hand out for me which I gladly accept the two of us then making our way back to the staircase then eventually outside. Thankfully there’s a nice breeze up here and then I notice how awesome the view is. The skyline is lit up and the sound of honking horns fill the air as I walk to the side of the building to look down at the people walking in the streets. We’re pretty high up so they’re all sort of a blur, moving quickly, lost in their own lives while we watch from above.
“This is kinda great.” I say as I breathe in the warm air, closing my eyes, feeling at peace for the moment. Then I feel Jack move beside me, gently placing an arm around my waist pulling me closer. I lean into his body, remembering that first date, sure it was a mess and sloppy as hell, but I recall what it had been like to kiss him and sort of want to do it again, especially when I feel his hand sliding up and down my back, stroking it gently.
“It is isn’t it?” He responds and I open my eyes glancing up at him, his usually smiling face very stern. His eyes though, they’re focused forward, like he’s almost afraid to look down at me. Though I don’t want to, I like being held by Jack, I take a step back leaning on the wall so I can face him.
“Can I ask you something? And I want you to tell me if I am crossing any lines here seeing as we’ve been friends for only a matter of days, but the thing is Jack. You’ve listened to me when I needed it and I want to do that for you…let me do that for you…” I say reaching a hand out almost instinctively, grasping the side of his face lightly, making sure I have his full attention. His blue eyes have gone dark and I can almost see what looks like shame in his features. “What’s wrong? You can tell me…I mean maybe if you don’t want to talk to some random stranger you can talk to me instead? Maybe that’s easier for you?” Jack looks down, avoiding eye contact, but his hand comes and rests on top of mine pressing my hand closer to his face. He sighs deeply, closing his eyes for a second like he’s trying to calm himself down. “What’s wrong Jack?”
“I’m fine. Carter I swear…” He says opening his eyes up and glaring down at me, putting on a brave face but I just know he’s full of crap. “I just didn’t get a lot of sleep and…”
“Because of your dreams.” I interrupt and I can see on his face that shame again as he releases my hand, placing it down by my side again and creating this space between us that makes me a little uneasy. “You don’t have to be embarrassed about that. I don’t know what you’ve been through but it’s nothing to be ashamed about Jack. You can tell me I won’t judge you. I just think if you got some of that weight off your shoulders you’d feel a lot better.” Jack looks back out towards the city, completely ignoring what I’ve just said but I can see the pain all over his face. “Jack…” I reach an arm out to him but he stops it, grasping my wrist tightly in his hand. We both stand there a second because the act almost seems violent, but I know he didn’t intend that, yet he’s still holding onto my wrist staring intently into my eyes. His breathing is heavy and his face is slightly contorted into this horribly sad expression, but he doesn’t move or speak. “Jack…I…” I start to say but am interrupted by his lips crashing into mine.
I practically gasp out loud as this happens because it is literally the last thing that I expected but still I don’t stop him. No I pull his body closer to mine with one hand while the other slides into his hair grasping it tightly. His arms slide lower down my back as our lips move in sync with each other, and his tongue parts my lips deepening the kiss. My knees are practically weak from the whole moment because it’s like his mouth is craving mine. His entire presence is full of this wanting and needing like I’ve never seen from him and it almost feels like we are going to rip each others clothes off right there on top of that roof. Just when I feel his hand slide up my shirt, skin tingling from his touch, there is a loud bang and Anthony is shouting from the door around the corner. Immediately Jack pulls away as his friend comes into view and I’m left there, leaning against the wall breathless trying to understand what the hell just happened.