G. and Sashimi begin walking down the path of love. |
A Place Called Anomie - Chapter 4 G. wasn't sure how long he had been unconscious, but when he came to he noticed that someone had apparently brought in a number of large paintings and arranged them in the front area of the room - in such a way as to give the impression that there was some sort of gala going on. It was the work of a true artist to arrange the paintings in such an artistic manner. The two dimensional paintings were arranged in a way to give the impression of three dimensionality - or even CREATE three dimensionality! Some of the paintings, smaller ones, were farther away and at just so angles, so that G. believed the room was much larger than it was. In fact it WAS much larger than it had been before his nap. G. was about to stand up, taken by a strong desire to to take a stroll in the forest that he could see in the far distance. Everything was so realistic that he didn't question how a forest came to be in the restaurant. He stood and everything became flat again, due to the change in the angle of his gaze, and he realized that if he continued he would just walk into the wall. He fell back to his seat, again changing his field of vision. Now G. looked at the door leading from the restaurant to the lobby of the hotel. The path through the autumnal forest was straight and flat. G. estimated that he could see approximately a quarter of a mile down the path. If he squinted he could just make out some movement at the far end of the path. It was white so it was easily visible against the autumn foliage. As whatever it was drew closer, it began to take on the form, or gave the impression of a white maggot with a black head, swaying along upright on its tail. G. thought this an unlikely vision. (Yes, I as narrator agree. I can't say that I thought it ever looked anything like a maggot). Sure enough, as the vision came closer, features became visible on a face. A cap of short black hair with bangs, black eyebrows, black eyes, two curves of small pink ear peeking out of the short black hair, two angled nostrils set in a delicate curve of nose, and a red bow mouth. A gold necklace with a bright red butterfly pendant nestled between two small breasts. Curving, sinuous body encapsulated in a tight kimono like a wriggling larva, trying to emerge from its tight chrysalis, and become the bright red butterfly on its own breast. Yes, Sashimi is, without a doubt, a goddess. G. is worshiping her as she moves, seductively, sinuously swimming through the light, her elfin feet rustling through the dry autumn leaves. Her goddess aspect changing by the step - radiating all the glorious godliness under heaven! As Goddess Sashimi reaches the door all the people in the paintings stand. All the people at the bar and the three dimensional tables stand. G. is already standing. Sashimi is smiling gloriously. She moves happily across the room to G. Oh such smiles! Oh so happy! Sashimi walks up to G. beaming - beams of sunshine, beauty and joy. Sashimi stands on her tip-toes, reaches up and takes G.'s face in her delicate china hands, draws his face down to hers, and kisses him lightly on the lips. Sashimi looks into G.'s eyes and beams, beams of love. G. feels it. Now, considering G.'s reputation, you might think this is going to turn out to be a 'Walter Mitty' moment. Well, guess what? -- It's not! The on-goings might not be happening to everyone in the same way - Different people do live in different realities after all, and you can't expect two dimensional people in paintings to experience things exactly the same way as three dimensional people on bar-stools. Every one is entitled to their very own delusions and hallucinations - those are inalienable rights! However, I have been assured by the author - every one of significance in this narative will share in the reality of Sashimi and G. This means, among other things, that will become apparent as time goes by, that: 1) Sashimi is a goddess 2) G. is either: a) not very bright, or b) has a rather severe mental problem of some kind 3) Sashimi has fallen head over heals in love with G. - heaven knows why - and will love him for the rest of her life. 4) G. has always loved Sashimi, or somebody very much like her. 5. Sashimi is planning to demonstrate some of her perversions to G. As the melancholy memory of my past flits across the meniscus of my mood, I wonder? And I wander. I wend my way into the far recesses of my macerating maw of a mind. ....... Shhh. This is the narrator, as I'm sure you've realized. I am practicing my poetry while the author isn't looking. Don't tell please. I'm experimenting. I want to find out how much he really notices. Sashimi wonders what she has gotten herself into. She has always been spontaneous, throughout her long life, (she is 18). Her father and other ancestors have worried about her spontaneity - But now! What has she done!? She has purposely decided to fall in love with a man, a much older man, but obviously a much less wise man, a Caucasian after all! An excuse for lack of wisdom, but not for lovability! Sashami considers the ramifications of the decision to love this not so strange, but unusual, older white man. She carefully lists the pros of this decision on one side of her mind, and the cons on the other. She studies the lists and her hopes, desires, intentions and reasons; she considers everything she can in light of her new-found love; is it really love? - Yes - Is it lust? - Yes - Oh what should she do!? - Oh my, guess just go with the flow. G. is still gazing into Sashimi's eyes. He doesn't realize that it's been 13 minutes since she has been looking back. She has been thinking about him, and herself, but her gaze has been inward. While Sashimi was gazing inward her eyeballs continued to look at G. so he didn't realize when her gaze returned to him and he was, or I should say is, startled when she says, "Jee, have you ever been to Anomie?" "Where" "Anomie" "Where is that?" "If you do not know where it is at, does that mean you have never been there?" G. was flustered, as usual, and said, "Maybe. I don't know". "Maybe you have been there or you do not know if you have been there?", said Sashimi, or thought Sashimi, confusedly. "I'm confused too Sashimi. You see, I think I haven't been thinking at all for a long time. I haven't known exactly where I am or where I was for I don't know how long now. Now that I think about it I might remember being in Anomie. Is it a neighborhood of ______City? Wait don't tell me ---- Yes it is! Yes I have been there! Just me and Al! Hey, now I remember Al! I guess I thought maybe it was just a dream. I was just walkin' down the road, thought I saw Jack Keruack, then a boy named Al told me I was in Anomie. Shit! Now I can't remember why I'm in _____City." "Well Jee, my darling future lover, I am beginning to consider the possibility that you ARE strange - Yes - If you were not wearing that neatly pressed suit and tie and funny little hat - if instead you were wearing a white t-shirt, blue-jeans and moccasins; and a cigarette hanging out of the corner of your mouth you would be quite strange. And also quite OLD. But whatever you are - old, young, strange, neat, sloppy, cool, caucasian, stupid, funny, aphasic, amnestic, lonely, extroverted ...... etc., etc., whatever separate individual things you are, they are all interrelated into a very pleasing whole, and that is what I love so much." "Good", mumbled G., "But shouldn't I figure out why I'm in _____City? shouldn't I be worried? Scared? Maybe I'm supposed to be doing something - something important. Maybe I have a home with a wife and children who are worried about me. Maybe I'm in a fugue state - no that sounds like music and I don't feel like singing!" G. is sweating, essential tremor manifesting, becoming nystagmic. "Maybe I'm dreaming. I'm reminded of a dream I always have - I mean I have a lot. I'm in college and have either decided not to go to class or forgotten to go. When I remember, it's been so long there's no way I can ever face the instructor, or make up the work, or pass the course, or graduate, or go on with my life." Quakes G., becoming overcome by anxiety, quaking in his metaphorical boots. "It is ok Jee, relax, calm down, just relax Jee, everything will be ok Jee", soothes Sashimi. "I will help you, I will take care of you. I have considered going into the trade of psychiatric nursing. There was not much demand in the village for psychiatric nurses so I would have had no competition. Anyway, what we must do now is to decide how much of your past to retrieve and how much of our future to plan. I believe that the ideal place to do this is in Anomie. I have found that whenever I come to _____City, Anomie is the ideal place to meditate and, for that matter, to do everything else. On the way we will stop at a haberdasher and buy you a white t-shirt and blue-jeans, and at the Cherokee Village we will obtain some moccasins - I also need a new pair." So the two love-birds walked out of the restaurant, into the hotel lobby, and down the path through the autumnal forrest.......... |