When Death met with Love

Ranae found herself in the prayer room where she and her fiancé Azrael Jerone decorated to be a 'holy' room where they could pray in silent without much disturbance. In the room was made sound proof with the sound-proof sponge and a big cross painted on the wall, cushions and puzzle mat was made the floor of the room. Book shelf with encouraging books of various notable writers that would help her in the growing of her Christian life even though she couldn't always attend church service. Windows closed and in the middle of the night, Ranae sat down on the ground in the dark as she didn't on the light. She could see nothing but she is very much familiar with the room that Azrael and her had both decorated together. She was at total lost as if everything had been taken away from her, literally everything.



It was supposed to be a nice date that she so looked forward to. Wanting to spend more time with her fiancé Azrael even though they are going to get married one month later. She can never get enough of just being with him and he is always so sweet and caring towards her as well as surprising her often. He is everything that she wanted as her 'perfect' husband. He had the look, the height, the character and the sweetness. To her, he is just so perfect just like....an angel or prince charming for her.



He claims to be a godly Christian who always attend church and even bring her in, helping her to grow closer to God and continue to build on her faith in God. Everything that he did for her to be able to get close to God, touches her most because he seems to be send from God to be with her. And he gives her emotional support, but yet he is always humble. Whenever she told him that " You are my best support in life." and he would always reply this, " I can give you support that you need but you must not depend on me for support, Instead you need to depend on God because He is the best support that you can have and not me. Everything comes from God."



All the fond memories and good times flow in her mind, playing like a video tape with clear colours and sound. Everything that she and Azrael did, every time she throws a tantrum or had mood swing and Azrael had silently been with her. Every time she finished scolding or ranting at Azrael, saying that he didn't understand her at all, that he is not her and he don't know how to comfort her but only silently accompany her, she felt extreme guilty of that because even though she had do these to him yet he still stay with her.



She thought that he would be with her forever when today he seems to change.

" Ranae, I'm sorry. We cannot get married, if we do there will be a lot of disasters coming your way. I can't bring this upon you, I got to leave you. Let's call off this wedding. I will take the responsibility of the call-off of the wedding on my shoulder that you will not be discriminate." Azrael said while holding her hands in his. Ranae was shocked and hope that she heard wrongly. It seems impossible that this words came from his mouth, Azrael the perfect man of hers. Tears rolled down her eyes uncontrollably as she glare at him for a while and gave him a tight slap with anger. " You are dumping me?! How dare you!" she roared in tears and hurt. Not wanting to hear anything that would come out of his mouth next, she ran off.



Her heart pounding hard and she felt as if her dreams had crash, her days had darken and whatever is hers was lost. At this point of time, she wanted to be alone completely alone and ask God why had this happen to her, why is this happening when her life had already sucks like this.



Azrael although is hurting inside but he can't give chase to Ranae. He needs to let her overcome it on her own as he can no longer be involved since it would only make it worst. He knew he had let his Creator down and disappointed that he had do this and he don't want to make it worst. He had to let her face this if not in the future she would be even worse. The slap on his face still stings and serve as a wakeup call to him that he should not continue further.



His eyes looked to where Ranae ran off and seen her gone from his sight. He felt useless that  he couldn't help her yet instead have cause her to be even more hurt. He had built on her faith and encourage her that he could see some result already that she is improving and when things are getting better, he took the wrong step. Things were never be the same anymore and he knew that.



"10 minutes to duty Azrael" the 'ringtone' to his duty-scheduler device that take the image of a phone rings. Azrael took it out and take a look of the duty he had for the time. [298 souls location eastern Ukraine] Reflects on the screen and he looked around his environment before fading himself to spirit mode so that nobody sees him. He cover his body with his wings and disappeared to the scene to reap the 298 souls.



It’s been a month later and if everything was to have go through smoothly, in fact today they would be at the wedding hall receiving blessings from friends and Ranae's parents. Ranae had message him thousands of messages and call him numerous times both on phone and in heart. Today he decided to answer her calling, and meet her at the gold coast. He felt that he have not  completely talk things out with her and leave her hanging. This time he had to solve this and hopefully this won't turn ugly between them two.



At the gold coast Ranae was in her usual black spaghetti strip top and jeans with her black messenger bag across her shoulder and her feet she has on black sandals. Azrael meet her in his grey deep v neck shirt that reveals part of his muscular chest and a white short-sleeve blouse over it with three quarter pants and sneakers. The two gaze at each other with the expression of missing each other and hurt. Azrael walked towards her slowly until he stood in front of her, while Ranae continue to gaze at him and not moving. She wasn't sure about her emotions now and suddenly she feel that she is not ready to meet him after all that had happen. :: Ranae, he had abandon you, he is no longer going to take care of you, why do you want  to meet him? you should not have come to meet him. :: she thought to herself as she turn away wanting to go.



Azrael grabbed Ranae's wrist as she turn to walk away from him.

"Look! we might have separate, but you are still my duty to take care of. " Azrael said in a stern voice.

" In what way? You are no longer my fiance, the bond between us you have break. What else do we have of each other. There Is Nothing anymore." Ranae speak with slight rage in her tone as she furiously try to shake off Azrael's grip but to no avail because he is obviously stronger.



Upon hearing that, Azrael's heart sank with coldness as if he had just dive into an icy cold sea. " I am bonded and connected to you, Ranae. In an unexplainable way." He told her still keeping his tone cool and not wanting to explain too much to her.

" What unexplainable way? What did you mean? You are the one who wants to break up with me yet you are acting like this as if you really care. Seriously what did you want? " Ranae snapped at him annoyed as she still bear grudges that a month before their wedding he decided to end their relationship with her.

" Believe me...I have to do this for your own good. We are not suppose to be together...I can't marry you and there will be someone else for you." He tried to explain desperately in hope that she understands.'

Ranae shook her head and lift her chin slightly controlling her tears that was almost going to fall down from her eyes.

Azrael knew that it is his fault in the first place but for her sake, he have to break off this romance relationship with her.

" I'm sorry...I shouldn't have start this relationship with you nor asked for your hand in marriage. I thought...." Azrael trailed off covering his forehead with his palm as he close his eyes with a pain expression.

" You shouldn't have?! So you had always been mindful of my attitude, my character, my behavior. You said you can tolerate me no matter what don't you? When I tried to kill myself, do you remember that you told me that you will be there for me? Now you said you can't?! What is this? If you can't tolerate me, just tell me in the first place!" Ranae flared pouring out all her emotions unto him as if he is a rubbish dump. In her heart she had already classified him as a jerk. Clenching her fist, she is trying to resist the temptation of hitting him on his chest.



" I... I'm not the person you know. We are not suppose to have any romance attached. Its my fault for falling for you when I shouldn't." He answered looking at her wanting to convey the message through his eyes. Ranae took a deep breathe and cool herself down. The wind blows her long curls hair as she turn slightly to look at the sea and back to him again. " What do you mean that I am still your duty to take care of. I want to know the reason. I have the Right to know. Tell me. If not I will drown myself right before you." Ranae said her tone was now more of sad emotional crying tone. Azrael shook his head, " I can't..." he murmured to which Ranae immediately turn and walk towards the sea. Azrael panicked and caught hold of her again, "Because I Am your guardian angel, I am the one who is appointed to guardian over you. I am not a human being like you seen me to be. All these disguise is fake!" Azrael finally revealed in the sense of urgency and he didn't know why he told her this and felt that he was force into it. To save her life and prevent her from taking her own life he decided to spill the fact to her, the forbidden fact that would cause him to be called back if revealed.



Ranae was stunned and it felt as if the time had stopped and she seems like she wasn't breathing for a second or two. Upon coming back to her senses, she turn to him with eyes of disbelief. " Who are you then? If you are not the Azrael Jerone that I know then who are you?!" She inquired with suspicious eyes, her heart beats fast and this new thing that she heard makes her feels as if she is not herself.

Azrael knew it is going to be tough and he would not be able to come to earth again when he told her the truth but still he have to despite the consequences.

" I....am angel Azrael.. I'm the angel of death... and also just happen to be your guardian angel. " He replied looking down at his feet.



Ranae looked at him as she shook her head. Grabbing his white blouse that was flowing along with the wind tightly in her grip. " Why and how do you come down to earth with this body that I could touch and hold? And I won't believe it until you show me. " Azrael held her by her shoulder and sat her down as they both sat on the land of golden sand in california. " You first see me because you seek death. I sense the urgency that you need...so occasionally I use some heaven power to solidify my body. And get near you to encourage you. I had to leave you because my angel brother Gabriel told me that the High Almighty knew about it." He explained even further. Sensing that she still doesn't believe, he stood up and before her eyes he shapeshift to his usual original appearance of a young man with black neck length hair, white robe covering his gold armor with the angel symbol on his chest and white wings spread open from behind his back. On his neck that he wore is a gold choker that reflects the halo above his head. In his right hand was a feather quill and a book, his left hand a scythe. His eyes glanced at Ranae whose mouth gaps open in extreme shock seeing him in his original form.



Trembling she pick herself up and ran away from him, tears flowing down her eyes as her heart hurt like a knife pierce through her heart. " Ranae, Although we are over but I will continue to watch over you as I always will. Even though as guardian angel I could not have any romance with you but I will always love you. Remember that. Please don't seek death anymore, be strong although I am not physically with you. And only when your time has come, I will fetch you personally that the first one you see when you open your eyes after your death is me. I am still your guardian angel." He called from behind as she ran, not knowing if she heard every word that he had said, he disappeared from the place and return to where he belongs. Ranae did not run far, instead she was hiding somewhere that he couldn't see. Every word that he said, she had heard it and remembered in her heart. Behind the shelter, she slid-sat down clutching her heart as she sobbed. All this while she had fallen for her guardian angel because he appears to her when she needs someone, the only one God had sent to take care of her but he had to leave because he had broken the rule.



Unlocking her door with shaking hands still having the impact of seeing Azrael in his majestic form before her. It was really hard to believe and too painful to know this truth that he had proven himself.  Having to announce the call-off of her dream wedding was already a big emotional wave that almost swallow her whole. Now knowing the reason why makes her feel like dying on the inside. 

Once she step into the house, she dump her black simple design messenger bag onto her sofa and immediately lock herself in her room. Still she couldn’t believe that these were all happening to her and at this period of time. Hugging her legs to herself on her bed, her back lean by her bed frame as she let out her emotions with loud cries.

Ranae is just a simple girl who just manage to graduate from her polytechnic education with borderline  pass and work in one of the government hospital as a staff nurse for 6 months. She faces many emotional setbacks both in school and in her workplace itself that cause her to be suicidal. Her family…she wasn’t even sure if she could call them her family. She feels like she belongs nowhere as her parents had divorce since she was eleven years old and grew up with her father.



Years later her father brought back a woman who he married to be her stepmother. Ranae doesn’t like her step mother as she just wasn’t her mum and whatever she do seems to be wrong in the eyes of her step mother. Not wanting to continue the fights with her step mother, at the age of 17 when she starts her poly nursing education, she decided to leave the place where she called home to live by her own in a rented apartment. 

Nobody hears her cries but herself and God. She is a Christian and had always been believing in God since the age of twelve when her mother brought her to church. However when she starts her school she had no time for church, and slowly she was drifted away. Ranae raise her head slightly, her hand wiped away the tears on her face as she sniff and cough because of her loud cries. She laid back on her bed and stares at the ceiling blankly. Ranae wanted to die right at this instant but it reminds her of Azrael more.  :: “ Don’t give up, don’t die… life is precious and your time is not up yet… please, I don’t want to have to see you go. “ :: Azrael’s voice flashes through her mind.

She missed him so much…yet she couldn’t see him nor face him anymore. “ Az.. I miss you….so much…” she whispered as another tear flow down from her eyes. Slowly her vision was blurred and she doze off to sleep still wearing her jeans and spaghetti strip singlet from the beach.



Angel Azrael returned to heaven with a heavy guilty heart. He wasn’t sure how he should face the Lord Almighty knowing that he did wrong and had let Him down. The Lord Almighty knew everything that he did, it wasn’t any of his angel brothers who tell on him but the Creator does know everything and nothing could escape from Him. Azrael still blames himself that instead of effectively guardian over his first ever people that appointed to him, he make it worst. Ranae is his first person that he guardians over. The Lord Almighty knowing that he very much wanted to be like the guardian angels to guardian over people, watching over people and had given him a chance. Ranae was picked and appointed to him right before He created Ranae to be born to the family. In another words, he had been watching Ranae from the day she was born to now that’s why he had always been keeping a look out on her.

Sitting by the lake of living water, Azrael sigh deeply while shaking his head. Not only was he guilty but he is disappointed of himself as well.  Angel Gabriel saw him returning and was all the while following him from behind knowing that he wasn’t in the mood. As he sigh, Gabriel went to sit beside him and put his arm over Azrael’s shoulder.  “ Az, Brother don’t blame yourself too much. You are a beginner guardian, although you have done wrong but take it as a lesson learnt.” He tried to console Azrael.



Azrael turn slightly when Gabriel sat down and console him. He was glad that Gabriel came to talk to him and even more grateful that the Lord Almighty have not summon him just yet. He don’t know when he will be summon to see the Lord Almighty Himself but he knows that he have to face Him soon.  “ my wrong doing had cause Ranae face worst impact….her life was already so down and thinking that with me being with her all the time by her side would be better and she would be more stronger in emotion but….yet I have cause even greater hurt. I really don’t know how I should face the Our Creator.” He shared in a depressing tone.



Gabriel pick a flower from the ground and twirl around his finger.  “ you know what? We angels are not perfect. Many times we did wrong too, our Creator knows everything and no point in hiding. In fact we should not even hide, He would prefer us to confess and repent before Him than to hide in shame.  Brother, Lord Almighty have been waiting for you to see Him. Thought over it, and go to see Him soon. I have got to go, Az be of courageous“ Gabriel shared and encourage Azrael before he stood up and went to continue his duty. 

Azrael nodded and give him a smile as he mouth a ‘thank you’ to Gabriel before he left. Gabriel had always been his best heavenly brother who always guides him. Gabriel can be counted the second archangel in command after Michael who is the great warrior archangel of the Great Creator. Despite his level, Gabriel choose to guides him along and spend time with him. They were all created at the same time but there are level differences according to what they were assigned to do. He is an angel of death not really consider Archangel but still he is an angel as well. And compare to other angel brothers, Gabriel was the closest to him and still is.

What Gabriel said had a point and he knew that the Great Creator didn’t summon him, instead was waiting for him to seek Him upon his return to heaven. He had thought over it and decided to take up this courage to kneel before his Lord and confess his wrong doings and seek for His forgiveness and repent. Standing up from the grass, Azrael spread his wings and flew up to the Great Throne at the 9th heaven.



Ranae opened her eyes from her bed in wish that everything was just a dream and she was still going to get married. But when she looked at the fourth finger on her left hand and the ring was not there makes her disappointed as she knew it was not a dream.  Her head feels like its spinning, and it feels like the she was in the middle of the sea in a boat  that rocks rhythmically back and forth.  She hates the after effect of hang over from excessive drinking but yesterday she was too emotionally sad and broken to think too much.

Good thing that she was on her annual leave break that she didn’t have to work any shift until seven days later.  “Azrael Jerone, my guardian angel… how I wish that I don’t know you.” She said casually.  She wonders if he could hear her now because every time when she feels down and call for attention, he would always happen to ‘coincidentally’ come by her side.



In work, Ranae had a guy-friend whom she is very close with. His name is Jeffrey who patiently listens to her rant every time she feels unfair. He is also the only one who cares about her apart from Azrael.  Jeffrey had heard that Ranae and Azrael’s wedding was called off and he is worried about her. After all they are friends for at least 6 months and he knew her background when she rant and shared about herself. Azrael had even approach him the day before they called off the wedding.



Jeffrey could remember the scene of that day when Azrael suddenly wanted to meet him. Azrael suddenly appeared in his living room without a single sound and Jeffrey thought that he had forgotten to lock the door.  “ Jeffrey Hansen.” Azrael called him with a smooth cool tone but still Jeffrey was shock. “Azrael Jerone ? How do you come in?” He asked surprised that Azrael had came in without his knowing. Azrael just shrugged his shoulder and handed him his house key. “ well you didn’t lock, so I figured I would come in since you seems too caught in thoughts that you didn’t hear my calling.” Azrael explained coolly.



Awkwardly Jeffrey took the key from him, “ Have a seat, do you want any drink?” Jeffrey asked politely. Azrael looked at him in the eye with an amused smile, “ Isn’t it suppose that the owner of the house serve drink without the need in asking the guest?” he answered sitting down. “ I Don’t need drink, thank you. I just have a few words to say to you actually also to inform you.” Azrael added as he lay back sitting comfortable on Jeffrey’s couch.

“ well apparently I should but you know I hardly have any guest so I didn’t know this type of manner.” Jeffrey answered sitting down on his one man couch beside Azrael when he said that he didn’t need drink.  “ What is the matter you want to tell me? Is it about Ranae? Ranae and I were just close friends and we won’t be going in further than that…so don’t worry.” Jeffrey begin to explain. Azrael let out a laugh and hold up his hand at Jeffrey, “ nah dude, not that. Haven’t you think too much? Well the reason I find you is indeed about Ranae but I am definitely not suspecting both of you.” He answered taking a deep breath and tense slightly trying to figure out how to tell Jeffrey.  Jeffrey looked at him with confused eyes not knowing the reason to what Azrael wants to tell him and the way Azrael answer him got his interest hanging like a cliff hanger.



“ what are you going to tell me?” Jeffrey urged trying to hide his impatient. This time Azrael look him in the eye seriously, “ don’t be impatient. Well I can’t marry Ranae. I have got to leave her to a faraway place.” He begin. Upon hearing that, Jeffrey’s fist clench and he grab Azrael’s collar almost lifting him up. Jeffrey is a big guy ,quite chubby, his short neat brown hair makes his face looks a little square.  Azrael could sense his anger and of course he had expected that reaction of Jeffrey since he knows that Jeffrey is quite a righteous guy full of justice just like him. “ What did you mean you can’t marry Ranae?! What do you expect her to do? How is she going to face others whom she had announce her wedding to? Where is this place that you are going?! Why can’t you bring her along?!” Jeffrey shouted in rage. What he hates is that his friend Ranae whom he treasured so much to be hurt by some irresponsible guy. He knew totally how it feels to be abandon and how it feels to be betrayed, to think that his close friend Ranae was about to face the same thing as him almost drives him crazy.



“Listen, Jeffrey. Put me down. I have reasons and it is important which is why I came to find you.  Cool down first and let me explain!” Azrael said in desperate tone looking at him with intense eyes. Jeffrey release him and sat back down on his couch while Azrael sat down as well. “ Now shoot whatever you have.” Jeffrey demanded looking him with eyes full of rage as if he is going to shoot laser out of his eyes to cut Azrael. “ The place I am going I can’t bring Ranae. It is not a place for her to go and If I married her, our marriage would brought on a great disaster that she could never be able to face it and I could never be able to shield her from. A wrath that could never bring happiness.  I should never have make her fall for me and I must have been crazy to asked her hand in marriage because I couldn’t marry anyone.  You must believe me because only you could help her now. “ Azrael explained even though knowing that Jeffrey might not understand his intention. “ How do I know if these is not an excuse to dump her?!” Jeffrey replied abruptly still with anger in his voice.  “In this case…I will show you something. “ Azrael said as he rolled up his sleeves. Golden letters like symbols begin to form on his skin like a tattoo which were the letters in Hebrew( מַלְאָךְ malach) which means messenger/angel. Jeffrey eyes was almost blinded by the brightness of the gold light that flashes from Azrael’s arm.

Never in his life had he see something like this and it really took him aback. “What is this? What happen?” Jeffrey stammered as his eyes still staring at the Hebrew letters that was currently black on Azrael’s arm like a tattoo. He saw it form right before his eyes just like this and Azrael did not tattoo himself plus he doesn’t even have any tattooing tool with him. “ Don’t you know what it means?” Azrael asked still showing Jeffrey his mark. “ I know, this is malach which means God’s messenger. I know how to read Hebrew…but how? Just how? If you are an angel how do you even have this body that Ranae could hug or even the hand that I could shake like a normal human being?” Jeffrey asked confused and not knowing what to do as there are so many questions in his heart. Azrael rolled back his sleeves  before answering his questions. “ I am an angel, I have my way to appear to humans. Yes I am supposing a spirit body but there is a way to solidified my body for a period of time.” He answered. Standing up from the couch he put both of his hand on the side of the couch that Jeffrey is sitting and lean closer to Jeffrey. “ Do not tell this to anyone else, they wouldn’t believe you anyway. I will call off the wedding with Ranae, please take care of her for me as she will need you. I had to leave her and this place for good, I know you like her and you are the one who can give her happiness, not me. The reason I appeared to her and be with her is because you haven’t appear but now it’s different and also the time I have to leave her so that I wouldn’t interfere her life. She would be sad and in great pain which I am very sorry that I brought her to it but in any way you are the one who she can depend on earth. I can only watch over her and not physically by her side like you. Enough of saying, I have got to go. Farewell Jeffrey Hansen.” Azrael finished what he had to inform him and straighten himself before he disappear before Jeffrey’s wide eyes.

Jeffrey was obviously shock and wondering if he was dreaming. After slapping himself on the cheek and felt a sting pain, he knew what he just saw and heard was real. Now all he cares about was Ranae, she must have been really depressed. Ranae was brought up in such bad environment and faces so many difficulties in life that she needs a lot of support. Even at some point of time, she had constantly sharing to him that she wanted to just leave this world and that aches his heart.



It’s  suppose to be their wedding day yesterday and Ranae was uncontactable ever since yesterday morning which makes him worried. Today he had decided to visit her house to see if she is in. He had spam texts and calling her till his hand almost go numb by pressing the redial button and send button .Now he had no choice but to find her directly at her house, standing outside her house, he had change from spamming texts and calls to spam pressing her doorbell. It’s been like fifteen minute and still no answer from the inside. Poor Jeffrey decided to knock on the door and call her name to see if she would open the door for him. Deep down inside he was actually hoping that her neighbor wouldn’t call the police for him being a nuisance.



Azrael was on the way to the Great Throne when he feel that something might be wrong with Ranae through the guardian link that connects the guardian angel and the person he is guardian over.  He tried to ignore it for the time being and see his Creator first before going down to check out, that is if he is allow to continue to guardian over her. As he arrived at the Great Throne at the ninth heaven, he bow before the Lord and kneel down on his knee bending low in respect and also in repentance.  “ My Lord, my King I Azrael come before You in repentance. Forgive me for what I did on earth, please forgive me of my silly wrong doing. I know my mistakes now and I humbly come before you to confess my sins asking for Your forgiveness. I Azrael is willing to take whatever punishment that You have on me for my wrongdoing. “ Azrael greeted both The Creator and His Son.

The Lord looked at His angel who confess his sins right away when he arrived before him. He knew that this angel of his is soft hearted and most of the time rash. He give him the chance to be a guardian angel with the motive to train him to think more before he acts. Of course He had expected and know this would happen. Also this is a test to see if this angel of his is willing to admit his mistake right before him or went on hiding. So far despite what he did, The Lord Himself is glad that he chooses to face his mistakes and asking for forgiveness in repentant heart.  “ Azrael, arise. “ He said with a loving tone.  Azrael stood up in obedient yet still he keep his head bow in respect.  “ I know you will come to this Azrael. But it’s not over yet, you have to continue to guardian over her but not being physically with her. Try to help as much as you can but sometimes she needs to get over on her own so that she can learn. You are to be her protector to protect her from oncoming danger. Though she is hurt right now, I would have you follow Jesus and learn from Him before you return back to guardian over her. But she is still your duty that I have given you. Be wise and deal with what you think needs to be deal with. Go for now.” He said in a soothing voice that makes Azrael relieved.



He is not banned from being a guardian angel, instead he gets to continue to be Ranae’s guardian angel which makes him really happy. And he get to follow His Son in learning! That’s a great honor to angels and he feels that this decision to confess is right. Gabriel knows what The Lord wants and Azrael is grateful that he listens to his advice.

Azrael went to earth for a short period of time to check on Ranae and found that Jeffrey is outside her door while she is in the house like a complete lost person without any care of the world. It seems like even if the house catch fire, Ranae would rather stay inside and become roasted Ranae. Shaking his head, he appeared inside the house of Ranae and unlock the door for Jeffrey to come in before he spirited himself again so Jeffrey could not see him.

As the door is open, Jeffrey immediately rushes in but he could not see Ranae. Somehow he know who open the door for him even though he can’t see him. “Azrael, thank you.” He murmured in a soft tone before going to Ranae’s room straight. Ranae was weak all over and laying in bed with her eyes close. Jeffrey came into her room and called her name, yet she was too weak to answer. Worried, Jeffrey touches her forehead which he immediately stood up. “ Ranae! You had high fever! Oh gosh! I need to rush you to the hospital.” He said, taking out his phone and was about to dial the number for the ambulance when Ranae raise her hand and grab his arm. Her eyes were semi-open and her face pale with her lips whiten, cold sweat all over her face makes her look like half-dead. “Don’t…Jeff…I don’t want to  go…hos…hospital…” She beg weakly. She hates going to the hospital and she just don’t feel like living anymore. “If that’s the case, then I will stay here to take care of you. If you get worse I will sent you to the hospital and no more bargaining.” Jeffrey told her with a stern voice.



He covered Ranae with her blanket up to her neck before going to the bathroom to fetch some water and towel. Grabbing a tower from the rack, he dips it into the cold water in the basin, twisted it dry and put it on Ranae’s forehead hoping to cool down her temperature. As he was about to leave the room, he accidentally kick a book that looks like a diary. Holding up the book and looking at Ranae who was now resting, he decided to go against his moral values to take a look hoping to know more about Azrael and her.

In the living room he flip open the diary and read it day by day on the sofa. The diary reflects every emotion that Ranae felt each day.



Today it’s awesome! I have finally graduated from the nursing course. Man! If I haven’t be able to pass this time, I would be dead! Good at least I won’t have to pay back the bond for failing. I wonder how it is to start working in the hospital tomorrow…Feels so excited yet worried at the same time. Hopefully I would be able to do well and up to expectation. ….



Ranae had her emotions on working in hospital all written down exactly what she had complained and whine to him. As he flip the pages, something caught his eyes and it was written…

Today I thought it’s my last day on earth, I so much wanted to jump off and end my pathetic suffering life and make them all regret when a guy shows up. He had short neat brown hair like those of Korean pop star, his face seems flawless and a little pale, his eyes were brown and luminous that seems so….so…attractive. His nose bridge were sharp and his lips were thin, light pinkish.  Slim yet muscular body with biceps line exposing through his tight v-neck outfit.  I just couldn’t help but stare at him and amaze by his beauty. Perhaps it’s the light that causes the effect but he is really…handsomely beautiful at this point of time. The sight of him magically causes me to forget what I was trying to do. And he spoke, “ Lady…I see that you are in distress. Are you alright?” he asked me. His voice was modulated and I just don’t know what exactly happen to me that when he open up his arms in an inviting way, I went to cry upon his shoulder.



He just have the ability to make me release all my sadness and emotions out. His warmth is comforting and addictive in a way that I don’t want to release him. I didn’t know him, nor he know me but at that point of time, it feels like I have known him. I can’t control myself.. but to cry out and he comforted me. “ Never ever seek death. When you are alive, you can change everything but when you are dead you cannot change anything and it would always be forever. You may suffer now, but you are not alone. You won’t suffer forever, and if you need I will always be here for you. “ he said in a voice likely of an angel, smooth and peaceful or a psychologist.

After that we chat a little about life, he seems a little mysterious now that I think of. He had only told me that he just recently came to California and that he was working in a church. “ Sorry that I haven’t introduce myself yet. I’m Azrael, Azrael Jerone. “ He said in an apologetic tone. The apologetic look of his again makes my heart leap. I know I am like a fan girl or something but he is really….handsome that I didn’t even know people like him exist and to me. “I’m Ranae, Ranae Harel. Thanks for today….and sorry that I have lose control…” I said to him in awkwardness. Usually I wasn’t like that…I don’t go around random strangers and hug them to cry but it just happen to this poor man who bump into me. Anyway with his counsel I feel much better and I am alive now ready to face tomorrow I guess. Just hopefully I would see him again…..



:: So this is how they meet:: Jeffrey thought after reading and flip to another page.

Today things goes at least better for me, less scolding and there is even a patient who thank me for taking care of them. That in deed brighten up my day at least my effort wasn’t totally in vain as I thought it would be. But really my manager’s mouth were foul and the words that she spoke are like poisonous needles dip with extreme poison that was as if the poison of a venomous snake or a cobra or something. And her shout is so loud scolding us from two wards away, blooming like she is using an announcer but she is without any announcer but her original voice. No! She is a walking announcer itself. I hate that woman, so what if she is the manager. Hurt feelings like this just because she is superior?! Damn that woman.

Jeffrey chuckled as he shook his head while reading this entry. Flipping to another page, he reads on with interest.



(to be continued)