The Witch and The Cows, Blonde Cow Poems

The old witch says I ate her flowers.
Prove it, I said! one look at my droppings
with sunflowers all about. She's right.
She wants to butcher me. I see it in her eyes.

I am just an young blonde dumb cow.
She falls in my droppings and then
rolls down a hill and then she falls
face first in the stream below.

The old steer tries to impress me.
He moos and burps. He thinks
he is a stud. He has never sired a calf.
I kick him and he too falls in a stream.

The witch is upset. She threatens to
cut off his anatomy. He doesn't know what
it is for. He licks the old witch's face and she smiles.
She is drinking a Pina Colada. That would do it.

I am going to take a nap. The old witch goes home with the stud cow.
The witch puts a spell on me and the stud cow.
We are now proud parents of a cute little brown calf.
Why is he wearing a pointed hat?

Lonesome Blonde Cow

I am a lonesome blonde cow.
I stand in the field chewing my cud.
Don't you dare ask me, how now blonde cow?
My hide is dirty. I need a bath with suds!

It is starting to rain.
I will get my bath!
Here comes the farmer down the lane.
Oops! He stepped in the goodies I left in his path!

Here comes that flirty steer!
The rain cleaned me up.
I am pretty. I have no fear.
Now, I am being barked at by that yapping pup!

My farmer bought me some more cud.
Time for me to dip in the pond.
That steer is coming on to me. Doesn't he know he is a dud?
The truth is I like him and I want to bond.

In the sky, shines the moon.
The farmer puts us cows back in the barn.
I will be out again tomorrow before noon.
I am tired of cud! I think I will eat his nice green lawn!