Silhoutte

Silhouette

By Joanna Patris C. Berdin

         The knife's unnerving sharp sound, as it bounced onto the scarlet sandstone floor, brought consciousness to my spine. Tears pooled at the corners of my eyes--anger, guilt, and fear filled--and I felt the cold ground beneath my skin as I abruptly collapsed as adrenaline receded my body. In a nanosecond, everything on my sight blurred until I lost contact to the now.

         I gripped the foot-long knife into the air an arm above my head. Like the rhythm of my pounding heart, I swung the object; I lost of count, towards his broad blood-drenched chest. For once, I'd heard his cry of torment resounded through the walls of the room and then, silence took into place. Pouring all my emotions, I gave the last sorrowful blow digging into his chest reaching his sternum with the edge of the steel. There. He was lying pale, unresponsive, and breathless before me. But, in just a while, a familiar small sound brought angst and fury to my soul. My eyes widened. Holy cow! He's still alive? I could still hear him; his anxious plea lingered in my ears: "Please, don't. Oh no, please. Have mercy!" Anxiously, I withdrew the knife buried in his chest and swiftly planted more intense stabs. Mercy is only granted to those who deserve it and it's not you... never! I briskly moved my hand to and fro his chest and, feeling a little contented, I started to plant deep wounds to his belly down to his thighs. Then, I turned the sharp front of the knife on his throat and with a leisured movement, I scraped the object across his flesh. His blood was cascading like fresh water. Oh! I want him dead! Thinking of the pains I inflicted over him, I couldn't conceal the glee I felt while successfully doing the deed. I wasn't so sure if he was really dead for I was still hearing his pleas feeding me with great madness and contentment. His cry of terror and mercy was the sweetest melody to my ears. I never felt enough of killing people like this; of killing him. Joy, excitement, and satisfaction coursed throughout my entire body. I giggled. Is there anything more overwhelming than this? I held the knife at mid-air as memories sprang instantly. I stilled.

         My heart was racing hearing the deafening sound of his heels sharply rubbing across the concrete. For every steps was a scream of terror to my soul; my muscles contracted in so much horror. I pressed my chest onto my knees--my arms wrapped around my legs--gripping so tight to prevent myself from moving though my entire body was ghastly shaking. I kept still and sharpened my senses despite the suffocating fear in my throat. The steps began to slow down, and the sound each made as it touched the ground softened. Yes, softer this time. I panted rigorously with agony and clutched my legs painfully trying to distract myself from the thought he might have found where I was hiding. I couldn't conceal my fear; the terror I was imbibing for the last minutes of my life was stabbing me from behind. "You know you couldn't hide from me any longer. Come out now darling." His deep husky voice echoed throughout the corners of the undersized dusky bedroom. My teeth clenched to its hardest limit and my breathing was fast and short; I barely grasp for air--I was out of oxygen. "Come out. Come out wherever you are..." The blood had drained from my face and the pounding of my heart intensified as if I had just ran barefoot from the top of a hill; it seemed to leap out my chest. Oh my! I think I've heard of this once in some children book of short stories. A slight moan was released in my mouth. Warm beads of tears were gently rolling over my sculptured cheeks down to my divided chin. With an abrupt reflex, I stretched my right hand to reach for my mouth and covered it, preventing myself to produce any sound. Hush! For seconds I remained stoned, scared, and cold as if I've been staying in the last circle of hell, Lucifer hunting me down.

         Help! Someone... help!

         Suddenly, I could no more hear the sound of the tormenting footsteps. I paused. Is he gone now? My senses rose acute, consciously verifying if the sound had really vanished. The sound of the night was the only thing I could hear then. I breathed ocean's depth and gradually emptied my lungs with air thinking he had already left. Slowly, I loosened myself from my constricted grip. I think he's gone. In a very very light motion, I began to free myself from the cabinet pulling my head forward. To my surprise, before I could plunge my entire head off the wooden closet, my eyes met his. Oh no! I numbed. I was paralyzed at the moment. Jesus! Dark brown eyes to hazelnut brown eyes. My eyes widened like they would pop out my face. His eyes were full of evil; lots of demons were dwelling in him wanting to come out. Daunt ran through my head toward my arteries down to my heart. He clasped my cheeks at both rough hands. My heart was in my throat that I barely breathed. I stilled. His eyes were burning into mine. Suddenly, tears streamed from my dread-filled eyes. He dashed away the tears with his thumbs. "Please don't do this. Please... Dad", I plead trying to change his morbid intention.

         "Oh no. No. No. No Darling. This won't hurt. Trust me." He looked at me with dark formidable eyes. His lips twitched at one side wickedly, the shades of evil were still there. "No. You're my father." My voice choked...horrified. In a vacuum of light, he loosened his hands off my head and grabbed my arm. He yanked me out the cabinet making me groan loudly of the pain. Before I could ran, though he tightened his grip, his long-fingered hand landed onto my face. It was rough and heavy. I winced. He slapped me using the back of his right hand making my skull tremble. He hit me again but the degree heightened consecutively. I felt the raw stingy pain; my cheeks were crimson and sore. I felt the cuts of his knuckles lingering over my skin. Suddenly, it seemed the room was spinning. And before I could protest, his hands were already exploring my entire body. I cried and screamed as loud as I could possibly be but nobody heard.

         I slightly opened my eyes, subconsciously scanning round the empty room--only a dim yellow light coming from a small round bulb attached to the ceiling illuminated the area. All of a sudden, paralysis brushed over my veins. Time had suspended for almost like an eternity. Thoughts momentarily began to flood my brain that my brain cells were popping like bubbles unable to contain them. I shook my head with the hope to get rid of them at once. Finally, I had recovered my consciousness. Amused, I have never felt relaxed than this before. The back of my body laid flat on the ice-cold cement. I managed to pull myself upright but I couldn't. My body was too heavy for me to carry and I felt so jelly to move. It was like I had gone to a brawl, myself against a group of street delinquents and eventually got beaten so badly. I wiped my tears with the back of my blood-stained right hand. What have I done? What was I doing to myself and to others?

         He was the thirteenth for the record, another innocent old man. The thought of it alone shivers my soul. A hollow sensation I had acknowledged long before. I was never certain what it must be composed of. Fear? Hatred? Happiness? Guilt? Unwelcomed tears accumulated at the corner of my eyes once more and before I could stop them, tears gushed through my cheeks down to the floor. I glanced above, eyes locked at the wide dim-lit ceiling. I raised an eyebrow--briefly stopping my lonely sobering thoughts from drowning me--seeing a black small chubby beetle pasted onto the ceiling. Observably, it was not moving. I knew, apparently, it was dead. A warm air was passed through my nostrils; I felt secured and happy. After then, I dried my tear-soaked cheeks with my knuckles, wiping them off at sides.

         The freezing breeze of the air made every single hair follicle of my skin stand. My muscles hardened. Momentarily, I felt so tired. I didn't know why but I was damn tired, very tired that my vision was stealthily narrowing at the center and so soon shutted down. Darkness began to fill my empty soul and there, I reluctantly let myself driven into it. Fresh warm tears started to trickle down my face but I already lost my senses. Everything was in dusk once again.

         Oh no... please. Don't.