Philosophy and Landscapes (So far)

Prologue Alexander
         They say if you hear you have Cancer then you'll feel as if the day slowed down and became dull. That depression is a side-effect. I say that it's scarier when you find out that your single mother that's been raising you by herself since you were two has it. The type of mom who guided you through your own round of Leukemia. The mom who worked four jobs to provide for you dinner, and the type of mom who cared for you so much that her love alone mad up for not having a dad or many other relatives. The most amazing mom.
         When my mom found out she had Pancreatic Cancer, I'd just gotten home from school. I remember seeing her keys on the couch and her purse- with items spilling out of it- on the floor. I called out her name and received no solid answer. Instead, muffled sobs from down the hall.
         I made me way to where it sounded like the sobs were coming from--my mom's room. Upon opening the door, I saw my mom, on her knees, beside her bed. She made no kind of contact to acknowledge my presence.
         "Mom..." I spoke quietly. Except for the sobbing, all was silent, and my words fell into an abyss somewhere to betray the thought of a response.
         "Mom?" I whispered again.
She stared up at me this time, with eyeliner smeared underneath her big blue tear-filled eyes. "T-the doctors t-told me I have Cancer..."
         That word hit me hard, like a bitter taste on your tongue. I had heard it so many times before... I had gotten over it so many times before, but somehow, seeing my mother like that, got to me.
         "I'm sorry..." the words seemed to catch in my throat.
         "No." she shook her head. "I'm sorry."
         I cleared my throat almost silently. "What are you sorry for?"
         "That I wasn't able to give you a better life than this,"
         "Mom... you aren't dead, yet. You aren't," I lost control of my emotions.
         "I know that, Alexander," She said. "But I have no money to get you to college. To get you a car. To give you a better life."
         "I don't want a 'better life'," I mumbled.
         "You need to want one!" she cried, "For Heaven's sake, Alexander! You NEED one. You need one...."
         I bit my lip and walked backwards to her bedroom door.
         "I... I just don't want you to grow up like I did," she told me calmly. "I married an idiot and now I can't help you because... I have no money,"
         I nodded. "I... uh, have math homework, mom," I told her. "I love you,"
         "I love you, too, Alexander,"












Chapter One Elanour